TOP TEN
THINGS OVERHEARD AT IBCON
by TickenestWell, this Tickenest was unable to attend
the recent IBCon, but through my various contacts I was
able to obtain juicy tidbits of info (for entertainment
purposes only, of course) for inquiring Fedder minds.
Therefore, I give you...
| 10.
|
'Hey, you
don't look anything like your description.' |
| 9.
|
'Yuck, you
look exactly like your description.' |
| 8.
|
'Someone tell
Galin to stop kicking the cleaning lady.' |
| 7.
|
'Navs to the
left, Staff to the right, everyone else bug off.' |
| 6.
|
'C'mon, cut
it out with the random snogs and gropes.' |
| 5.
|
'I tell ya,
those Jell-o shots are WAY better in person!' |
| 4.
|
'Ok, the
final word is that everything will be ready by
Christmas, year ::mumbled speech::' |
| 3.
|
'Ok, fine,
grope and snog all you want!' |
| 2.
|
'Um, this
won't be in the Fed News, will it?' |
| 1.
|
'For the last time, it's
not a skirt, it's a kilt!' |
TOP TEN
SIGNS YOUR FED MARRIAGE IS ENDING IN DIVORCE
by Tickenest
| 10.
|
All those
nasty emails from Dvrcelwyr. |
| 9.
|
They name
their planet 'Ihatemyspouse'. |
| 8.
|
They figure
out how to squelch your TBs, even though that's
impossible in Fed. |
| 7.
|
Their latest
mood: 'Damned if I don't get the house!' |
| 6.
|
Mysteriously,
every time you want to talk, they were just
punted. |
| 5.
|
Their newest
mobile: The Exspouse. |
| 4.
|
They find out
that in RL you're seven years old. |
| 3.
|
You see them
on the FED Newlywed Game with your best friend. |
| 2.
|
You suddenly
find yourself in a custody battle for your
workthingies. |
| 1.
|
Your 'factories' stop
'producing', if you know what I mean. |
TOP TEN
REASONS 'NOT' TO RE-INSURE
by Tickenest
| 10.
|
When you've
died for the 37th time, your premium becomes
quite depressing. |
| 9.
|
You'll never
see the cute message when you DD. |
| 8.
|
You can use
the money you save to repair your mag-guns and
level 2 computer. |
| 7.
|
The insurance
salesman is secretly funding your opponents in
the Cup of Fearlessness. |
| 6.
|
Being a
member of the Frequent Insurers Club isn't a good
thing. |
| 5.
|
When you've
had to bribe the technician for the 100th time,
you're just not cut out for this thing called
life. |
| 4.
|
What better
way to garner sympathy than to tell everyone that
you've DDed? |
| 3.
|
You're too
lazy. (N.B. This one's so painfully obvious, I
had to put it in.) |
| 2.
|
You can just
have one of your forty-three alts do it for you. |
| 1.
|
They just don't make
clones like they used to. |
TOP TEN
FED THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR
by Tickenest
Well, 'tis the end of November once
again, and I hope that you and yours all had a Happy
Thanksgiving. Now, we all hear people griping over this
and that on the comms, but you seldom hear people giving
thanks for what they have. Therefore, I felt that it was
my duty to help people realize what it is they have to be
thankful for in Federation. Therefore, I give you...
| 10.
|
With the all
the inflation going on, a drink is still only 5
groats. |
| 9.
|
The
simplicity of sex-change operations. |
| 8.
|
Almost
impossible to go out without your clothes on. |
| 7.
|
Ming hasn't
ordered you flogged... yet... |
| 6.
|
Thanks to the
miracle of alts, you never have to be alone. |
| 5.
|
If you're a
down-on-your-luck FO, you can always DIVIDEND
(well, it always made ME feel better.) |
| 4.
|
You're no
longer required to hear that 'You've Got Mail'
guy. |
| 3.
|
When you
examine Cryptosporidium, you don't actually see a
picture of it. |
| 2.
|
Not many
other MUDs have a GROPE command. |
| 1.
|
At least you're not a
snert (we hope...) |
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH
Your comm unit relays a message
from Icedrake, "Hey, I like that idea... charging
for help on Channel 1. I see a great amount of money
heading our way...".
Your comm unit relays a message from Detros, "I
would end up bankrupt and having to sell my body in CDs
if that policy was implemented.".
Your comm unit relays a message from Detros, "And to
be quite honest it would probably end up in the pizzas at
my age!!".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Tails, "I giveup, if this GM guy wants me in
his lameo guild, he can find me himself...".
ACT OF
THE MONTH
Papamia has given Andy a
supercalifragilisticexpialadocious grope!
MOODS
OF THE MONTH
"DON'T LOOK
ETHYL!!!" The Streak has just arrived.
Some vandal has rudely scribbled:
Jaime has just moved west.
An escaped planetary Worker has
just arrived.
Wearing a pencilled moustache,
Hazed is here.
Hair Burning, Fried Brain, Zadscmc
is here.
Smoke wafting from her hair Chryys
is here.
JP The Great and All Powerful is
here.
CLOTHES
OF THE MONTH
ex chryys
Long blonde hair stands frizzed and smoking....clothes
charred and ragged...Tshirt reads "I survived a trip
to the ruins with Condor"
|
IN DIVORCE