Web Fed News Yearbooks - October 1997

THE OFFICIAL TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHILE IN TEMPORARY FED

We asked for suggestions in the AOL Fed message board of things to do while in temporary Fed. The demi-Goddess Hazed whittled the suggestions down from the large number submitted to just ten, making this the definite list of things to do. Thanks to everyone who posted suggestions.

10.	See how high you can get your insurance premium up to - Donovan575
9.	Accept a job, and see how late you can make the delivery - Tickenest
8.	See how many alts you can get following the same person - DavidY4723
7.	Make a cute 'Lagmonster' alt and take the blame for all of Fed's problems since December '96 - Tickenest
6.	Spend a whole day charting the market price fluctuations of univators - Lazarus242
5.	Set up several alts with variants of your name. Set triggers so they all imitate you. Then tell people you died and had a cloning accident - Lazarus242
4.	Try to see how many different ways you can kill yourself - Guod23
3.	Play Hide-and-Seek by yourself - DeoVindice
2.	Sit in the Venus shuttle and see how fast you can get the stations to fly by while waiting - Grendul
1.	Horde every single object in Sol, then build the world's biggest pile of junk with it - Tickenest

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE A LOUSY FIGHTER
by Tickenest

Well, after a long hiatus, I've taken up the pencil again. Thanks to the begging and pleading of all my adoring fans (all 2 of them) I'm back and better than ever! (Note: When something is back and better than ever, it's really just the same as it was before.) Besides, I want all the coverage in the news I can get. ;) So, without further ado, here they are:

10.	You keep trying to FIRE PHOTON TORPEDOES
9.	Goodbye TLs, hello snert-launchers!
8.	Instead of target practice, you take 'Begging for Mercy' practice
7.	For some reason, you can't help but call it the Cup of Fearfulness
6.	You rely upon nothing but your psychic powers
5.	You think a level 1 computer is best because it never needs repairs
4.	No matter how many times you try, the Bloodlust spell just won't work
3.	You don't worry about bounties, just experience points
2.	You actually fear the Captains with their mag-guns and 10 hull
1.	Your battle cry: 'Can't we all just get along?'

TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD ON THE SOL COMMS
by Tickenest

10.	'The Sol Comms are only for telling people not to use the Sol Comms.'
9.	'i am a 20 tn hulr i ned wrk bnus mst tb me'
8.	'Hey, who put this 'Punt Me' sign on my back?'
7.	'How much longer until the next crash?'
6.	'Free 50 meg lotto! 70 meg entry fee!'
5.	'off' (For the last time, it's COMMS OFF, people!)
4.	'All beggars report to StarBase1 LP.'
3.	'Psst. Have you heard? There are like a thousand planets in Sol these days.'
2.	'Is it true that Fed's moving to the Web?'
1.	Blessed silence, because everyone was locked for using the Sol Comms.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

xt Ahhh fed, I knew you well, I played 1000 games or more, and now that you go to the web I think 'Better to have played Fed and lost, then not to have played Fed and lost more.'

Your comm unit relays a message from JediMereel, "anyone know any duchies in assyria?".

tb IceDrake My stats are really low!!! :( I was wondering if I could eat one of sols planets? Maybe mars? Or Titan . . . Please!

Your comm unit relays a message from Hazed, "Eeeeuuuuwww. You are not chaining me next to that slimy blob, not even in a story.".

Your comm unit relays a message from Voice, "IF you enter a dark room and you dont have a lamp, Does FED know if the GM is there?".

Your comm unit relays a message from Chickmagnet, "are you just an omnicient and omnipotent being?".

Your comm unit relays a message from Icedrake, "Well, yes.".

MOOD OF THE MONTH

Fed's over-used CrashDroid has just arrived.

BAR POSTS OF THE MONTH

210652:284 - Caknutsen: 500meg reward to the person that finds my wife. I miss her terribly. Her old fed name was CecilyCK and that is all i have to go on. Please help!
210652:339 - Morpheus: 500 megs? Im your Wife, Im your Wife! 8)