 WHAT DOES 2003 HOLD?
The Mystery NewsDroid (MysteryNewsdroid@hotmail.com)
Note: These are only
predictions. IBGames does not support any of these
predictions. However, if they happen to come to pass,
remember you heard it here first!!
So here we are, shoved headlong
into 2003. Any New Year isn't complete without some sort
of predictions, so I scoured the Multiverse and Gypsy, of
Tarotcard was kind enough to sit down with me to cut her
deck and offer up some predictions for the upcoming New
Year.
"I predict… Hmm",
says Gypsy. "Islands will be hit by a tropical
storm. And Blirish and Snowstar become friends. NOT!!
Just joking!!"
After settling in and buying a
round, Gypsy cut her cards and gave her predictions.
First up, Neka, Duchesse of Islands.
Gypsy says, "January is a time
for planning with her. February she goes into a downward
spiral, March she suffers from grief and disappointment,
April she nurtured, April she should avoid major life
changes. May a young man enters her life, July she sees
this man tries to control her. August she really wises up
and by September she dumps him."
Mystrynewzdroid grins, "Sounds
like one smart cookie!"
Gypsy says, "October she
begins new projects and has a tremendous breakthrough.
Nov she finds a new flavor of the month, but by December
the real MAN comes along!"
Next up, Blirish, Baroness of
Serenity.
Blirish..", says Gypsy.
"Well, Jan, Feb and March are bad times. She goes
into a downward spiral, fear of failure haunt her. By
March it is really holding her back. April she receives
an important message that turns things around. May a good
opportunity slips by, she just doesn't see it, but maybe
it is for the good because in June a new project comes
along. June will be a time of personal growth and she
will act upon things she has carefully researched. July
she will enjoy home and family. Enter a very content
time. August and September, hmm, she is going to
overspend but have a blast doing it. Oct she will get
these bills and feel the weight of her folly. The rest of
the year will be juggling her money and time...",
says Gypsy.
Gypsy says, "Oh! And very
important, in Dec she should not go around water as there
is a danger of drowning. Yes, traveling by sea is not
recommended, she needs to stay land locked."
Mystrynewzdroid makes a note...
"She should stay away from Islands then!"
"Yes. Stay far away from
Island!", says Gypsy.
We next discussed love matches,
such as Frogfur and Snowlily, Ron and Wench, Capt and
Satine, Tiz and Emcee, Haeger and Tiki, Vlad and
Sistertwo, Wyldcat and Dizzy, and Darkensi and Phedre.
Snowlily and Frogfur: In the past
they really cooked, gained speed and strength. Right now
though he is just making small talk and avoiding deeper
issues. In the future it is all over for them. Reversed
lovers.
Wench walks in and catches Ron in a
romantic encounter with another woman. She says
"Cool!", and joins in and all three live in a
happy triangle.
Satine and Captdmg hit a very
content lull. I don't see major breakups, but I don't see
the WOW either.
Tiz and Emcee, well, they had a
fight in the past I think and reached a truce of sorts. I
think they both thrive on the conflict though, enjoy the
debate. Their passion continues into the future. Much
fire and spark in their relationship.
Haeger and Tiki. Grief, loss
brought them together and together they continue to grow.
It is like together they put an end to all their
problems. They are good together.
Vlad and Sistertwo help each other
grow stronger through their relationship. They set a good
foundation. In the future rocky roads will hit them, but
because they give each other strength they overcome their
woes.
Diz takes Wyld and elevates him
from a young man into a King. She places her blind trust
in him. He becomes a sexual animal and she lives the rest
of her days very, very content!!
Darkensi and Phedre. I am seeing
another woman that might very well get in between them.
Phedre needs to keep a tight leash on Darkensi. You know
who it is. Darkensi just isn't ready for boundaries.
Phedre's brother will wreak havoc on Darkensi causing a
major split in the three of them. Two walk away leaving
one standing.
Other predictions included other
Fedcelebrities.
- A young woman enters Ops'
life, but then leaves, not rocking Ops' boat too
much.
- Twokool becomes Fed's version
of Hugh Hefner, and Nude becomes the Fed version
of the playboy mansion.
- Snowstar and Srgasman's
relationship has a fiery crash and being rejected
by the church, Snowstar becomes a hermit. After
recouping, she comes back and takes the world by
storm, hiring pool boys to dance for her.
- Kao becomes Twokool's top
bunny and spends her life sipping drinks by the
pool.
- Gangleri is coming out of a
time for personal growth. He is carefully making
plans and this doesn't slow him down at all. His
future is bright, but no woman is forthcoming.
- Wolfyn falls head over heels
in love turning her world to chaos and changing
long held beliefs. Wolfyn also shouldn't borrow
money!
- The kilted one, GalinFenner
will find love, love, love and will compete with
Vin Diesel for beefcake status having women
swooning in his wake!
- Hazed, our own DemiGoddess,
finally realizes that she alone is perfection and
becomes merciful to the imperfect.
- Bella will continue to hold
the advantage and win, win, win. Bella will take
a vacation and be dismayed that nothing is done
in her absence and crack the whip upon her
return!
- Shaver, heart breaker that he
is, will continue to live in his fantasy world,
woman falling at his feet, but he will still
refuse his heart to be ensnared. However this is
the year for Shaver, for all his dreams will
finally come true, and 2003 will be his best year
by far.
- Williamwallace will fall in
love and get married. However, his true love will
be murdered and his countrymen will look to
Williamwallace to free his country. This freedom
will cost him for in the end, he will be drawn
and quartered and his remains scattered
throughout the Multiverse.
- Duke Spaun will rule the
world, a happy and content one, and even though
he struggles for groats, his struggles will pay
off handsomely!
- Cabal will realize his
following of the same path is tiresome and will
reject a classy frosty woman who would toy with
his heart. In return, Cabal will find his own way
and the woman of his dreams.
- Rochelle is busted with a
blood stained axe and gets the electric chair.
However, she is just too mean and short circuits
the fuse box and escapes. Multiverse, be wary of
Rochelle as she will be on the loose this year!
- Yours truly, MysteryNewsDroid,
will find some structure, endure much, and have
many casual affairs! (It was in the cards!!)
- Gypsy will find an increase in
money, possessions and self improvement!
- The Martians will not invade
this year!
- XSlaught and Ron will meet in
a battle to end all battles. They will fight for
most of the year, but then USEagle will come in
and blow them both to bits.
- Ford will bid for the
presidency, but will only win the heart of
Blirish.
- Buddha will retire and sit in
a Chinese restaurant forever having his belly
rubbed.
- Priscilla will wow Cen in his
Wonder Woman outfit and their relationship will
move to the WOW level!
- Frye escapes Kilroy's control
and with Zlath and the dragons of Islands, start
the great war of the dragons, toasting the
Islands in the process.
If you're interested in your
prediction, and you weren't mentioned here, feel free to
give Gypsy a yell. For a small contribution, your cards
will be read!!
Happy New Year!!
ALSATIAN
REVIEWS THE SURVIVOR PLANET
This week a new planet opened up in
Sol, and Hazed let me off the leash to take a look at it.
Unfortunately I was quickly evicted, but after sniffing
many pant legs I finally found the designer of Bimbukwa,
and this is what I discovered:
"Woof", Alsatian says.
"Hello Alsatian", smiles
Jazir.
Alsatian sniffs at Jazir's pants
leg a minute.
"Yep, you're the one I was
looking for! You smell like a planet.", Alsatian
says.
"Uh, thanks, I think",
says Jazir with a wink.
Alsatian asks, "Bimbowwow?
Bimboneic? Bimdogdoo?"
Alsatian scratches at his head.
"Bimbukwa! Tis a new
scent", says Jazir with a wink.
Alsatian asks, "Isn't that
where all those people were stuck this week? You designed
it?"
"That I did, I am responsible
for their suffering", says Jazir.
Alsatian asks, "You made a
planet with comm removal events and no exits so they had
to stay?"
Jazir smiles, "Mac handled the
comm removal, but I ensured there were no exits"
Alsatian whispers, "Can you
design a doghouse boudoir for me? I like the no exit
idea."
"Why certainly! We can discuss
fees for this small favor sometime. Your specially
modified Aibos shall not escape you after I get through
with the design", Jazir says with a wink.
"I tried to go pee, er .. I
mean look at the planet but some signposts started
throwing rocks and telling me no dogs allowed. I'm not
permitted a spybeam in Fed, so I hoped you would tell me
what the planet is like!", Alsatian says with a
frown.
"The planet is a jungle, with
all the hot, sweaty discomfort the word implies. Lots of
plant life to scratch your face, trees to stumble into,
and rain storms every half hour!", says Jazir.
Alsatian gasps, a dog paradise!
Jazir grins.
Alsatian asks, "But there's
people there instead. How are they doing in the
jungle?"
"Quite well from my
standpoint! They've suffered in their environment, and
run themselves in circles around the jungle floor and the
mazes", smiles Jazir.
Alsatian asks, "Mazes! More
than one?"
Jazir says, "Yep, two so far
as challenges, and the jungle floor itself is difficult
to navigate"
"Really, like
hazardous?", Alsatian asks.
Jazir says, "Not really
hazardous, there are no death locs or anything like that,
just very uncomfortable. No pleasant little pools to
bathe in, lots of mosquitoes, having to eat raw jaguar
meat..."
Alsatian lives for that!
"Plus, the paths are covered
in underbrush, so its difficult to know which way to
turn", says Jazir.
"Any cool events?",
Alsatian asks.
"Lots of cool events! Nearly
every loc on Bimbukwa has an out event.", smiles
Jazir.
"Poodles? I mean stamina
drains?", Alsatian asks.
Jazir says, "I did put one
stamina drainer in there, on the shuttle ride. Everyone
had to pass through it, and it should restart the
starvation process, in case anyone starved themselves
before the event so they wouldn't have to eat jaguar.
Some are just customized "You can't move there"
events, others are nasty events that make you fall far
from your goal"
Alsatian does that all the time
with tall poodles. "Sounds like there's a lot of
locations.", Alsatian says.
"Plenty of locs, the full 120
allowed to me by IBgames", smiles Jazir.
Alsatian asks, "How long did
it take you to build this jungle?"
"Hmm, I was tapped to design
the planet in early Oct, and had it done by Mid November,
so about a month and a half", says Jazir.
"Wow. How did you get
involved? Do you live in a jungle?", Alsatian asks.
Alsatian thinks Estate doesn't
sound very jungley.
Jazir winks and says, "Not at
all! I live on a very comfortable Estate. Mac was looking
for planet designers who had won the Walrus of Merit, he
came to me and we talked about some of the details, and
he asked me to do the planet. I was honored and delighted
to be a part of Fed Survivor, so I said yes
immediately"
"Designing the planet for
Survivor was a very interesting experience, that's for
sure", smiles Jazir.
Alsatian asks, "You won a
Walrus? For Estate?"
Jazir smiles, "Yep, about a
year or two ago I think, you might remember reviewing a
"Standard post mini mudball."
Alsatian coughs, "Oh yes of
course I remember that."
Alsatian narrows his eyes, "So
you were the one gunning for me. And all I did was my
natural duties on the Estate lawns."
Alsatian sniffs at Jazir's leg
again.
"Let's just say you and my
groundskeepers disagree on what constitutes proper lawn
fertilization", says Jazir with a wink.
Alsatian asks, "Will Bimbukwa
be available for exploration after the Survivor event is
over?"
"Yep, once Fs4 has its
exciting conclusion Sunday, the planet Bimbukwa will be
opened for the public to enjoy", smiles Jazir.
Alsatian thinks of the jungle trees
and starts to squirm.
Jazir grins
Alsatian says, "I think I need
to go now."
You wink and say, "Um, and
watch your step when you leave."
Bimbukwa is a delightful planet to explore and I'd
encourage everyone to take a look after Fed Survivor is
over. Even though the sand may be trampled and the trees
stripped of their bark by the event contestants, you
won't want to miss the colorful script and lavish
imagination that Jazir has shared with us. Tight beam
Jazir, Macnbc, or one of the Survivors for tips on how to
enter the mazes. And for all you folks who have wondered
this week, I did get on the planet long enough to answer
the one question on everyone's mind!
>ex latza
The sleek, red and gold body of the latza moves
gracefully as she walks. Her large, intelligent eyes
watch you, and she waves 4 whip-like whiskers about
the air, seeking for prey.
It's a damned cat.
MING'S
IMPERIAL FASCIST BULLY BOY DEATH SQUADS CLEARED OF
WRONG-DOING
by Xinhua
After an extensive investigation of
the bombing of Chez Diesel (Social Centre of the Solar
System), Galactic officials this week cleared Ming's
Imperial Fascist Bully Boy Death Squads from involvement
in what was seen by many as a devastating terrorist
attack that caused the death of the pianist and Freya's
heels undergoing emergency surgery.
It was also announced that
officials had also suspected the Venus Freedom Party of
being involved. However, after extensive torture of its
leaders, the party has been found innocent of involvement
in this incident. The Galactic Administration remains
clueless as to the identity of the bombers but has vowed
to continue to manipulate the evidence until a guilty
party is found.
In response, Diesel held a special
news conference where she announced that her own private
investigators would be taking up the case, with the
guilty party expected to be named next week.
AND THE
BEAT GOES ON...
The Mystery NewsDroid
Cycles, good times then bad, phases
of the moons, pulls of the tides, spring, summer, winter,
fall… everything comes and goes and eventually we
all end up back at the beginning of the circle, sometimes
with more knowledge than we started with, sometimes not.
Everywhere one turns there seems to be cycles, ebbs and
flows, beginnings and ends. Why should the multiverse be
any different?
One of my first articles as the
Mystery NewsDroid was talking about the return of Shaver,
former Duke of Rainbow. Now on every bar board he is
announcing the demise of Rainbow on January 23. Of
course, he's not the only one who is leaving or has left.
Neka, Duchesse of Islands, Ron, Duke of Private, Kao,
Baroness of Babe. Look around, I'm sure there are others
who have left, some very vocally and others just quietly
slipping into the stars to either reinvent themselves
elsewhere or just gone.
But at the same time, there is
birth in the mulitiverse. Keelar, KittyKat, Cabal, Swald
have all joined our worlds and I'm sure there are others
that I haven't yet met. With the demise of some, others
appear, keeping the circles turning, teaching us more
about ourselves and enriching our worlds in their own
little way.
So as you say farewell to your old
friends and welcome new friends, just remember…
~/~And the beat goes on, and the beat goes on…~/~
MORE
ATTACKS IN SOL
by Xinhua
After an inexplicable Christmas
hiatus, a rash of bombings hit Federation DataSpace this
past week. Although Chez Diesel was spared this time,
other popular venues packed with newbods were left in
ruins following the attacks. Among the locations
destroyed were the Starship Cantina, FedRuckers, and
Mario's. Not seeming to discriminate based on planet, the
bombs all exploded at the same time, leaving the Galactic
Administration's emergency response teams stretched thin
across three disaster areas. As soon as word had come in
about the bombings, officials suspended all traffic in
the Solar System and disabled the Sol Interstellar Link,
cutting off any route of escape for the attackers.
The only known survivors were
Cruise, the Navigator on duty in the Cantina at the time
of the explosion, and Mario, the proprietor of Mario's
Bar - both having been insured. Sadly, the families in
Fedruckers, the newbods in the Cantina, and a majority of
Mario's staff were reduced to grease spots on what
remained of each location. While Cruise was unavailable
for comment, Mario and his remaining thugs warned that
the attackers would be found quickly and then never seen
again by anyone. When asked for more details, he turned
his attention to his drink and knife in the rebuilt
Mario's. Slarti's was also quick to rebuild the Cantina
and Fedruckers exactly as they were, erasing all evidence
of an attack.
In related news, investigators have
determined that the bombs used for this week's attacks
were of the same design as the one used to bring Chez
Diesel down - all using marsmetal as part of their
explosive core. Officials are combing the surface of
Mars, and despite a few snags in the ruins, say that they
are close to naming and apprehending the attackers.
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