WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS
Earthdate December 2002


OFFICIAL NEWS


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FED FUNNIES


What was in December 2002's Fed Funnies:

POSTS OF THE MONTH
MOODS OF THE MONTH
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
CLOTHES OF THE MONTH
ACTS OF THE MONTH
DENIAL OF THE WEEK

POSTS OF THE MONTH

212514:667 - Priscilla: What would Ming drive?
212514:703 - Hazed: Ming would drive his slaves!

212514:773 - Jerden: A new survey shows that the first thing Men truly notice about Women are their eyes... and the first thing Women notice about Men is that they're all a bunch of liars.
212514:780 - Vulture: gosh....and I thought that the first thing that women noticed about men was their wallets!

212514:860 - Tesmur: When someone slaps you in the face, turn over the other cheek. If they do it again, keep turning over the other cheek so your face is evenly pink on both sides.

212516:245 - Wolfyn: Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right.

212517:172 - Frenchie: NOTICE!! Local #001 of Federation Alts meeting is scheduled for Tuesday. Applications will be available and also contracts for union dues.
212517:265 - Hyacinthe: I thought alts were fighting the tyranny of having to give their money to other people....and now we hafta pay union dues?

212518:552 - Sallyanne: Where am I going? Why am I in this handbasket? Oh well, at least it's a fun ride. Whee!! {{{ Net! }}} I love you.

212518:898 - Geiiga: (insert tired gag, cliche, or duchy greeting rife with brackets here)

212519:189 - Chewbacon: You ever notice when someone makes an accusation and follows it with, 'And you know who you are!' that person will have half of the room's attention?
212519:226 - Kup: Unless of course they don't know who they are.
212519:251 - Rumor: It wasn't me, I didn't do it, no one saw me, and you can't prove a thing because I got rid of the bodies. Yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking with it. What are we talking about?

212521:646 - Vlad: Hey don't look at me when you discover the pumpkin pie with two small holes in it and nothing inside....it's not like we vampires drained the filling on pumpkin pies (quickly hides the orange stuff on the corners of his mouth) {{{{sis!! I miss you!!}}

212522:632 - Cen: Every time someone says they don't believe in France, A Frenchman dies.
212522:647 - Tesmur: I don't believe in france, I don't believe in france, I don't believe in france, I don't believe in france, I don't believe in france. Die you 5 frenchmen!
212522:786 - Frenchie: Surrender? Never!!! Victoire!!! Viva la France!!! (Unless the conquerer is very handsome and very rich) :::smoochies all zee handsome monsieurs:::

212522:894 - Priscilla: At the beep, the date/time will be 212522:894. Beep!

212522:933 - Freya: Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to? -- Clarence Darrow

212526:133 - Ops: There were three robbers sitting around a fire, one of them stood up and said Alphonso tell us a story... so Alphonso stood up and said there were three robbers sitting by the fire and one of them stood up and said Alphonso tell us a story...

212527:166 - Wolfyn: The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. Don't forget to reinsure.

212528:174 - Wolfyn: I married SirGlec for his looks... but not for the ones he's been giving me lately!

212528:291 - Zlath: If anyone knows the antidote for "mind-be-gone," Please let me know...I seem to have taken some unknowingly.
212528:318 - Again: That's easy, Zlath. The command is CHANGE. It'll take care of yer problem right away. (((((((People))))))))

212528:878 - Ding: If you make something Idiot proof they will make a better idiot.

212530:013 - Gangleri: Men who are bald in front are thinkers. Men who are bald in back are sexy. Men who are bald in both front and back think they're sexy.

212530:937 - Kariscats: The Most wonderful thing about the truth is that you don't have to make it up as you go......

212530:551 - Dooeee: I didn't do it, I swear!!!
212530:581 - Snowlily: Yes, you did, Dooeee. I saw you!
212530:582 - Cen: Oh it doesn't matter, One person is as good as another for clapping in chains and whipping.

212531:195 - Wolfyn: Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.

212532:034 - Cen: Evil...Kids know how to do it. Adult tyrants and despots need to rediscover it.

212532:158 - Von: Ponders the first porter. Santa could only port from one chimney to another.
212532:161 - Cartman: True Von, but the process was soon abandon, since he could not port with objects, and had to walk all the way back to the North Pole to get the toys and sleigh.

212533:112 - Cen: Incompetence: If you can't do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

212533:153 - Rumor: If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving.

212533:426 - Again: :::insert random quotes, a funny line, or oodles of brackets here, because I'm too lazy to do it myself:::

212533:685 - Nasalhog: Imitation is the highest form of flattery. :)
212533:710 - Xorna: ...except in a Patent Law suit.

212535:134 - Ruy: A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
212535:135 - Mathias: A common mistake by those who try to post a witty quote they just found... is that they fail to realize everyone else has already heard it and no longer appreciaties it. ;)

212535:193 - Satine: There is no such thing as a stupid question... there are, however, inquisitve idiots!
212535:402 - Desertfox: There are no such things as stupid questions... Only stupid people.
212535:438 - Bix: there are stupid people, but some of them are smart people in disguise...go figure

212537:691 - Tesmur: The most entertaining way to commit suicide in Fed is to sit in UNProtected Space Location waiting for Ron.
212537:698 - Jerden: Actually, I'm pretty sure the most entertaining way to kill yourself is with the dex puzzle...
212537:702 - Ford: I'm thinking they can all be entertaining if your lucky enough to get a really souped up gurney.

212539:547 - Racingnut: triggers to post first? who needs em
212539:550 - Chamberlain: Roy Rodger's horse usually posts first?

212541:193 - Edmond: When you find yourself in the company of a halfling and an ill-tempered Dragon, remember, you do not have to outrun the Dragon... you just have to outrun the halfling.
212541:201 - Hyacinthe: I didn't realize halflings were that filling.

212543:570 - Rchubb: My what a fine board this is! I would like to hire whomever built this! Such fine workmanship

212543:834 - Demelza: Be careful doing your last minute holiday shopping. And remember... when you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

MOODS OF THE MONTH

Kill some turkeys, eat the indian..Cen has arrived.

Sleep? Floozies don't sleep! Rikkytikki has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Fivekool, Fourkool, Threekool, and Twokool has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

You're not being moody enough! Prano has just appeared.

All (.)(.) and (_|_) Wench has just arrived.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Wolfyn asks, "Are you going to order the Spiderman?"
"Came to the conclusion that no one else would find it nearly as funny as I would if I dressed up in the costume and asked women if I could spray my sticky stuff on them.", says Rasal with a wink.

Your comm unit relays a message from Reihenfolge, "those of you of who americans ready for thanksgiving?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Diego, "What do you give thanks for? I give thanks for Ladies, Sword play, Ladies, Tequila, and Ladies."
Your comm unit relays a message from Rchubb, "I give thanks for beer..... oh wait LOL...... I stopped drinking..... gotta get back to ya on that;P."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn, "I give thanks for Rasal!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Diego, "i give thanks for Wolfy, She's a lady."
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "<--- Is thankful for {{{ Wolfyn }}} {{{ Esperanza}}} and all my other friends. :)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn, "After all, without Rasal - how would we be learned enough to find a distiction between good and evil, the gross and the beautiful?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn, "Oops, I think I am about to be unthanked."
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "Mostly I'm just grossly evil."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn, "And you do it perfectly!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "Just so!"

Your comm unit relays a message from Priscilla, "I still don't see why you can't give to the Salvation Priscilla."
Your comm unit relays a message from Priscilla, "::rings a bell::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Dooeee, "lol."
Your comm unit relays a message from Priscilla, "::blinks at you as you walk out of your ship with your gifts::"

Your comm unit relays a message from Tempest, "Being computerless sucks."
Your comm unit relays a message from Geiiga, "I am impressed that you managed to log on to Fed without a computer. Perhaps you can make that a marketable skill."

CLOTHES OF THE MONTH

>ex priscilla
Priscilla holds up a full length mirror, points it at you, puts his finger at the top of the mirror and screams "FASHION MISTAKE!"

>ex jerden
You see a very pale person, looking quite literally like death warmed up, wearing an uncomfortable hospital gown. The wide gap up the front... WHOA!!

ACTS OF THE MONTH

Ford takes a TDX breath mint and gives Blirish an explosive kiss!

From Scavenger Hunt:

>drop pants
You allow the pants to fall to the ground...
Ruy looks away
Snowlily giggles a lot!
"Maybe you shouldn't have an object that makes it say you dropped your pants", says Ruy with a wink.

DENIAL OF THE WEEK

exaggerated reports indicate that Racingnut is here.


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to
fi@ibgames.com.


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