WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS
Earthdate December 2002


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FED FUNNIES


OFFICIAL NEWS
by Hazed


What was in December 2002's Official News:

REAL LIFE NEWS: COMPUTER GAMES ARE GOOD FOR YOU
REAL LIFE NEWS: INVITATION TO BURGLARS
REAL LIFE NEWS: HOW TO STOP SPAM
REAL LIFE NEWS: THE SPAM SOLUTION
REAL LIFE NEWS: TOP TEN SPAMS
REAL LIFE NEWS: TECHNOLOGY SAVES SHEPHERD FROM WOLVES

REAL LIFE NEWS: COMPUTER GAMES ARE GOOD FOR YOU

We've heard in recent months several stories about how computer games can kill you; and they've long been touted by the media as the cause of all kinds of nasties, from school shootings to lazy children. Now, at last, a report that shows computer games are good for you after all!

Computer games, the Internet, and other electronic gadgets are the cause of modern children having IQ levels 25 points higher than their grandparents. Professor Ulric Neisser of Cornell University in New York has collated research findings on IQ from around the world. He has concluded that modern life is just so complex that young brains are being stimulated in a way older generations never experienced. This, together with the effects of better nutrition, accounts for the IQ increase.

However, while scores for the part of the test related to abstract reasoning and thinking have increased significantly over the past two decades, verbal and mathematical abilities remain much the same. Oh well, at least computers haven't made them go down!

REAL LIFE NEWS: INVITATION TO BURGLARS

Here's a new, high-tech twist on the old practice of thieves keeping an eye on houses for signs the owners are away. Burglars are using information contained in "out of office" auto-reply emails to target the homes of workers on holiday.

Using lists of email addresses such as those employed by spammers, criminals send out mass mailings in the hope of receiving automatic replies telling them the owner is out of the office. They can then cross-reference data in the reply with publicly available data from online directories, to discover the person's address.

A UK organisation called The Corporate IT Forum has drawn up guidelines for workers to avoid falling victims. "You wouldn't go on holiday with a note pinned to your door saying who you were, how long you were away for and when you were coming back, so why would you put this in an email?" said the organisations chief executive.

The guidelines include: Keep messages bland, redirect enquiries to another colleague, don't give out your job title, don't say you are on holiday, and don't include any personal contact details.

REAL LIFE NEWS: HOW TO STOP SPAM

A recent report by the Spamhaus Project, an anti-spam group, states that some 90 per cent of all the unwanted spam received around the world may be sent by as few as 150 people. One US company is blamed for sending 650,000 spam emails per day, using 190 servers.

Well, if that's the case, then the solution to the problem of spam is simple. We need to find those 150 people, and stop them. Picket their houses, persuade their ISPs to deny them service, make their lives a misery until they agree to stop sending out spam.

If that doesn't work, then we'll just have to take out a contract on them. Maybe I should start a collection...

REAL LIFE NEWS: THE SPAM SOLUTION

Last week I reported that most of the spam swilling around the net is sent by just 150 companies, and I suggested we find those companies and harass them until they stop. What I didn't know when I wrote that, is that one spammer is suffering in exactly this way. Good!

Alan Ralsky is a bulk emailer who has made millions out of his annoying trade. His local paper ran a feature on him. Net users who saw this feature, and who were completely fed up with their mailboxes filling up with junk mail, hatched a plot to extract revenge. They managed to figure out Ralsky's home address - and they signed him up to every advertising campaign and mailing list they could think of. He's now inundated by sacks of paper post, brochures, catalogues and so on.

This revenge is wonderful in itself, but it's made even sweeter by Ralsky's pathetic whining about the morass of paper arriving on his doorstep every day. He says, "These people are out of their minds. They are harassing me." Well, serves him right!

So that's 1 down, 149 to go...

REAL LIFE NEWS: TOP TEN SPAMS

And speaking of spam, the top ten spams of the year has just been announced by mail-filtering company Brightmail. They calculated the chart based on volume of messages as a percentage of all spam. Porn spam comes in at number 10, and the Nigerian 419 con at number 9. The surprise is number 8 - spam mail about septic tanks. Very odd!

You can see the full spam chart at http://www.brightmail.com/pressreleases/121202_top_spam.html.

REAL LIFE NEWS: TECHNOLOGY SAVES SHEPHERD FROM WOLVES

Here's a touching story of how a mobile phone saved a Greek man from death at the hands (or teeth) of a pack of snarling, salivating wolves.

Teofilos Amarantidis, a shepherd near the city of Darma in Greece, was out tending his flock when he spotted a wolf. It was big and menacing enough to prompt him to take evasive action, which he did by jumping out of the saddle of his mule and into the safety of a walnut tree. The first wolf was joined by the rest of the pack, 19 hungry animals circled the base of the tree.

Not an unusual circumstance. Farmers are forbidden from using guns against the wolves because they are protected by international treaties. But this time, Teofilis happened to have a mobile phone with him, and luckily there was a signal up in the walnut tree, so he was able to dial for help. ("Hello... I'm in the tree...") Within an hour, other farmers in the area had arrived with their fearsome sheep dogs, which chased the wolves away.

So the phone saved the farmer's ass - but the report doesn't say what happened to his mule.


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