Web Fed News Yearbooks - January 2002

POSTS OF THE MONTH

212173:781 - Wolfyn: Computers allow us to make more mistakes faster than any other invention in history. Except maybe for handguns and tequila.

212173:782 - Rasal: Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

212173:784 - Ruylupez: Three mentions in the Fed funnies for me this week? Is someone following me around trying to find things to submit??

212175:018 - Midrats: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

212175:985 - Ruylupez: Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work naked during a fire drill.

212181:403 - Stevec: Your planet is now on-line and open for business. <looks around at the tumbleweeds and old farts, wondering "Oh, yeah?!?">

212182:118 - Ruylupez: The real reason Santa is so jolly: He knows where all the NAUGHTY girls live!

212186:216 - Divinewind: Lost: one mind. If found, please keep it, because I'm having a whole lot more fun without it anyway.

212187:110 - Risadeamoconia: I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

212189:144 - Ruylupez: My New Years Resolutions: 1. More sex. 2. More Booze. I think I can actually keep these ones! :)
212189:175 - Sirglec: Ruy! I like your resolutions. I would resolve the same thing, but they would be just like my other resolutions. :)

212193:428 - Danny: It is with great pleasrure I announce the first First Dannitarian wedding has taken place. Congrats to Breyer and Mysteryman. And Netmndr. They all married each other. That's right.
212193:437 - Breyer: I almost married my compact as well - except, the compact didn't agree in time. ::sighs:: But, now I have 2 Husbands and a Lover. Love is grand, isn't it?

212191:233 - Wolfyn: Everyone is entitled to do stupid things. Some of us abuse the privilege.
212191:280 - Chewbacon: Since when is being stupid a privilege?! :::panics:::

212191:991 - Berzerk: Beauty is in the eye of the Bee holder. Looks like I better start looking for a Bee Keeper

212193:684 - Priscilla: Does your mother know you play Fed?

212194:146 - Chewbacon: If life is what you make it, then why am I not CEO of a multi-billion dollar company yet?

212198:767 - Cen: FNN News Flash. "In a stunning announcement today the Erstwhile Overlord of Greyhaven, Cen, has declared himself Emperor of the Dataspace. He vows to clean up the menace of Danny and offers free lager to all his supporters."
212198:770 - Danny: News Flash: To respond to the newly declared Emperor, I, Danny, have founded a new Evil Empire to fulfill my duty as Menace. Any applicants wishing to join my Evil Empire should TB me.
212199:759 - Cen: FNN News Flash: "The Newly proclaimed Emperor, Cen, visited Mars today and spoke with its citizens about his new policy and plans to wipe out Danny and his so-called Sons of Apathy. He then set up his throne in the loo at CD's"
212199:767 - Stanblather: FNN News Flash: "In other news, Cen's wife, the Emperess Xyli, attended fund raising charities on Earth yesterday. This just in, Emperess Xyli was just seen getting into a ship with St. Devaberial and looking quite comfy too.
212199:777 - Xyli: ...and still more news.."Empress Xyli declared free food and drinks for all of SOL, Bills can be sent to Danny via TB"
212200:284 - Danny: The Sons of Apathy, the new evil organization bent on bringing down the Emperor Cen, has opened for business and found its first member. Care to be the next? TB me.

212200:271 - Cruise: Redspice has moved up in life.. She stole my favorite Toe Tag

212201:232 - Geiiga: One again, the bar board is filled with the wisdom of ages. At least I assume it is. I really can't be bothered to actually read it.

212206:697 - Cen: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAA - All Emperors need an evil laugh.

212207:048 - Chewbacon: The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

212208:006 - Midrats: A friend of mine gave me a great book on levitation.... now I can't put it down!

212210:561 - Rere: Thought for the day: The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement! Carnies! Wings!

212211:550 - Rere: Thought for the day: If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame ;) Carnies! Wings!

212212:260 - Kellbo: I'm going to say something brilliant...
212212:278 - Snowstar: ::waiting.....:::

212212:876 - Petronius: Lost: One conscience, answers to name, "Guilt". Last seen in vicinity of CDs. If found, keep it as far away from me as possible, because I'm having a blast! ;)

MOODS OF THE MONTH

The feel-good hit of the summer, Zeroz is here.

The local Dipstick, Sallyanne has just arrived.

Pliable as a steel bar, Wolfyn has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Don't try this at home, Ford has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

INSURANCE: Don't fight without it! Ruylupez has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Idiot shields failing captain! Foamfollower has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Im not as think as you drunk i am Memphisdave has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

That's not a laser in his pocket, Zeroz has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Unaware he's under the mistletoe, Fancy has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Wearing the Pants... Jordy has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.
The oh so pantless Rasal has just arrived.

Heisenburg probably rules but Freya has just appeared.

Veni,Vidi,Visa:Came,Saw,Shopped Jordy has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Played since he was a groundhog, Ford is here.

Hell hath froze over and Snowstar has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Mood,I don't need no stinkin Mood Moonus has just arrived.

Came, Saw, Had Sir. Wolfyn has just disappeared.

Learning to walk again, Ruy has just arrived.

MIS-APPLIED MOOD OF THE MONTH

Tis the season to be jolly because Hazed has just disappeared.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

"When I was doing tech support for high school teachers, so as not to embarass them in front of their classes because they graded me, I would report the problem as an EBKAC.", says Danny.
Readerboy asks, "EBKAC? What's that?"
"Error between keyboard and chair.", says Danny.

Nightdroid says, "I've found all crashes can be solved by reconfiguring the power switch."
Nightdroid 's computer never crashes when it's off.

Arrogant says, "I think a war needs a certain equality of firepower to exist"
"otherwise I think the best words is 'spat'", says Arrogant.
"I don't know what to call it.", says Nightdroid.
"Maybe we need to invent a new word.", says Nightdroid.
"or 'convenient pursuit of oil'", says Arrogant.
Arrogant says, "ok, 'poo'"
Arrogant says, "pursuit of oil"
Readerboy laughs till he cries.
Freya grins
"so the US is currently doing a poo.", says Arrogant.

Wearing a badge saying Bah, Humbug! Bella is here.
Danny smiles, "Hey Bella, I just realized that for the third time since you set it, your mood is appropriate."
Danny says, "At least I think three...I commented similarly last year I know, so at least three."
Bella smiles
Occyocccy says, "he has that mood for 4 years"
"Four, eh? Well shoot, I missed a year.", says Danny.

"I remember the old days when I used to make my wife get down on her knees and beg almost daily.", says Ford.
Ford says, "She would get on her knees and beg "Please get out from under that bed and fight like a man"."

"What the hell was that?", asks Cen.
"I was negotiating a divorce.", says Danny.
Cen says, "Fairly quick work"
Danny smiles, "Such is the life of the founder and president of the Dataspace Bar Association."
Cen asks, "Isnt that a conflict of interest to your standing in the 1st Dannitarian Church?"
Danny says, "Not at all."
Danny says, "I married them too, then I negotiated the divorce."

Your comm unit relays a message from Ruylupez, "I tried to go out and get a real life one time...Found a bored guy at the county courthouse who took my $200 easy enough, but when I went to the bank to get a loan for the ship they tried to lock me up."

Your comm unit relays a message from Danny, "Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime. Teach the fish to fight back, you're amused for weeks."

Jordy smiles, "Ya missed me?"
"Nope. I aimed a snot and a snuggle at ya and they both hit.", says Rasal with a wink.
"Snot?", says Rasal with a frown.
"Snog damnit, snog!", exclaims Rasal.
Jordy ewwws.
Jordy winks and says, "What a way to start off the marriage..already throwing snot at me"

Your comm unit relays a message from Ford, "OSLO -- An American woman had no need to fasten her seatbelt on a flight from Scandinavia to the United States after a high-pressure vacuum flush sealed her to the toilet seat of the transatlantic airliner."
Your comm unit relays a message from Djkat, "she musta had one helluva bottom hicky."
Your comm unit relays a message from Ford, "She could not get up by herself and had to sit on the toilet until the flight had landed so that ground technicians could help her get loose,'' a SAS spokeswoman told Reuters. ``She was stuck there for quite a long time.''"
Your comm unit relays a message from Ford, "Could be. Even the toilet was kissing up to her!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Myangel, "the heck with panty lines.. i'd bet she wore potty lines for awhile!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wrkincaid, "gives new meaning to -hour glass- figure."
Your comm unit relays a message from Myangel, "anyway.. that is a loo-dicrus situation to be in ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wrkincaid, "and ass-prin won't help."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wrkincaid, "talk about a -head- ache .. hehe."
Your comm unit relays a message from Ford, ":::Help, I've sit down and can't get up:::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Myangel, "suppose she'll get double frequent potty miles?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Myangel, "you know.. she should get a refund on her seat ticket..she didn't use it ;)"

ACTS OF THE MONTH

Kup pushes a button on his teleporter. You watch in amazement as his molecules begin to dance and shimmer.

Dgallagher torches Amun's ship (sorry, accident!)
"Eeh, it only had a level 1 computer", you say with a wink.
Dgallagher exclaims, "Still does!"
Dgallagher pours a small pile of ash onto the coffee table.
Dgallagher exclaims, "Portable!"

DIVINE ACT OF THE MONTH

Bella fiddles with one of the universe controls marked 'humidity'
Bella pulls a picture of Alsatian up on the control screen and uses her cursor to move a cloud directly above the annoying canine. Tagging the cloud to follow Alsatian she punches a button marked 'Do it' and switches the screen off...

CLOTHES OF THE MONTH

>ex priscilla
The stylish Ms P models the latest in designer diapers and a Happy New Year sash. As she turns, she asks: "Do these Huggies make my ass look big?"

>ex ruy
You see a young man wearing a tailor made hospital gown. If you wind up in one all the time anyway why fight it?

If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to fi@ibgames.com.