OFFICIAL NEWS

FED FUNNIES

INSIDE SCOOP

CAST AND SLING
SOCRATIC DEBATING FOR DUMMIES
YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN...
FED OP-ED: CHANNEL 9
ALSATIAN'S PLANET REVIEW: DOG'S FANTASTIC GOOD
FORTUNE
FEDLYMPICS
THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO STYLE
WEVENGE OF DA WABBIT

MORE NOVEMBER INSIDE SCOOP

CAST AND SLING
by Horatio

Oh, it's that time again. That rather unglorious time that creeps up every four years here in the States when politicians begin to sling mud, pander to the people, and in general become lowlifes just so you'll vote for them. 'Tis the season. Don't get me wrong; I think the election is a great system (better than any other game governments worldwide play), but it got me to thinking: what would happen if we held a US-style election in Fed? For the purposes of clarity (and to avoid a lawsuit), we'll label our candidates "A" and "B." That's about as generic as I can get.

For starters, we'd have to drop the traditional campaign strategy. Why? Because there really AREN'T any secrets "A" could expose about "B". We all saw it when he streaked through five duchies, just like we all saw "A" when she danced topless on a bar during Mardi Gras after consuming twenty-six mai-tai's in ten minutes. And besides, even if we didn't know, it's not like we'd care. In fact, that might just EARN them votes. Additionally, it's not like that "mudslinging" would be an effort; why do you think we have Channel 9? The 24-hour gossipmonger network? Entertainment.

Campaign tours would be more interesting, though. When presidential candidates go on tour, they go to safe places, like Nebraska. Try touring through Golgotha during the "Cup of Fearlessness." You'd see some campaign coordinators doing some mighty fast stepping. Or try sightseeing on a DD planet. If anything, we'd be bringing Darwin back to the election process.

However, the actual vote-counting process could get difficult. Why? Because Fed could give literal meaning to the phrase "vote early, vote often, and vote for me." We have people with five or more alts in there, people. So running an honest election could get tricky. That and the fact that "electoral duchy" doesn't quite sound right.

Maybe, by not having elections, we are missing a truly wonderful form of entertainment. Then again, we are saving our sanity, and our system of "no discernable government" in Fed seems to be working well enough for now. So let's just shelve this idea for now. Besides, there are other ways we can entertain ourselves en masse in Fed.

Next week: The Federation Olympics!

If any of you out there have anything you'd like to tell me (or would like to make a suggestion for an event for the Fed Olympics - I'll give you credit if I like it!), email me at Horatio_TheWriter@excite.com!

SOCRATIC DEBATING FOR DUMMIES
by Danny

It has come to my attention that many people in Fed do not how to carry on an argument. Yes, I know it's shocking, but it's true. They make up facts, scream insults, and confuse opinion for universal truth. In accordance, I've for the most part just screamed insults back - when in Rome and all.

In time, though, I got tired of it and craved an actual debate as opposed to a Presidential-style one. That's when I realized that a particularly incompetent brick knew more about proper debating than most Fedders. I could hold a more meaningful conversation with bread mold. So, as part of my ongoing campaign to enlighten the masses, here is my lesson on how to hold a classical debate in the style of Socrates (look him up).

Step 1 - A Challenge
This is where two people disagree on an issue. Most people have no problem with this in concept, but their execution is off, as the example shows.

Good:
Person A: I believe that the sky is pink.
Person B: I disagree. Why do you say that?

Bad:
Person A: I believe that the sky is pink.
Person B: Well you're a dumb dumb stupid head because I say so. You should be kicked out! And they should put back the Snark puzzle, and they should give me the source code to Fed, because I'm better at game design than a professional game designer! Because of you I'm DDing! But I'll be back tomorrow like nothing ever happened!*

Step 2 - Presenting Of Facts
Step 2 is where Fedders really start to slip. After you make your statement, you have to support it with real facts. These differ from opinions, because they're not your ideas but actual, physical things. You present these facts as questions, cross examination style, to make sure the other person agrees. If the other person doesn't agree with your facts, you either have to convince them through another debate or find a fact they do agree with. And you listen in this step, only answering questions, if you're Person B.

Good:
Person A: I believe that the sky is pink.
Person B: I disagree.
Person A: I am on Mars, correct?
Person B: Yes.
Person A: And the dirt on Mars is red, correct?
Person B: Yes, of course.
Person A: And dirt creates dust, correct?
Person B: Yes.
(Repeat until Step 3.)

Bad:
Person A: I believe that the sky is pink.
Person B: I disagree.
Person A: Well it is because I say so! Everyone knows it!*
Person B: I still disagree. Where do you get your facts?
Person A: Where do I get my facts? I'm not your slave! You find them yourself!*
(Repeat until the Apocalypse.)

Step 3 - Drawing Conclusions
After presenting all the facts you require to make your point and proving them if necessary, you use the facts that the other side agrees with to draw the conclusion that your first statement is true. If this is unclear, it will be explained in the sample, which is continued from Step 2.

Good:
Person A: So the red dust that gets kicked up into the air stays there, correct?
Person B: Ok...
Person A: And light gets its color from reflecting off something, right?
Person B: Right.
Person A: So the red dust in the air makes the sky appear red!
Person B: Of course!

Bad:
Person A: You're stupid! What do you mean you don't believe me?*
Person B: I don't believe you. You never proved any facts.
Person A: What do you mean prove my facts? You calling me a liar?*
Person B: Yes, I am!
Person A: Well it's OBVIOUS I'm right because EVERYONE knows it, and I can't BELIEVE that you're so stupid you don't believe me! I'm right because I say so!*

Step 4 - Counter-Argument
Often, by the end of Step 3, people aren't convinced. This is not unusual. It just means that the person who only answered questions so far takes over at Step 1 and starts the process over. This continues in a loop until one person is convinced, or one person dies of starvation.

Good:
Person A: So the red dust in the air makes the sky appear red!
Person B: That's an excellent point, but I still have to disagree.
Person A: How so?
Person B: Well, you see, Mars doesn't have the same level of gravity that
Earth has, correct?
Person A: Correct.
(Repeat until settled.)

Bad:
Person A: So the dust in the air makes the sky appear red!
Person B: Yo mama.

So I hope you now understand the proper and improper way to argue. Don't bother trying to start an argument with me from now on unless you understand that the above rules should be followed. If you want to learn more, a great example is The Last Days of Socrates by Plato, in which Socrates manages to use this method to prove everything down to the existence of an afterlife. So enjoy, and stay tuned for more helpful lessons.

* Understand of course that an actual bad example won't have nearly this many correctly spelled words, capital letters, punctuation marks, or methods of identifying it as English.

YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN...
From the Galactic Pessimism Institute, Glass Half Empty Department

My goodness, the person who wrote this Top Ten was in such a pessimistic mood they could only come up with 5 reasons why you know things are bad...

FED OP-ED: CHANNEL 9
by Jelly, Polling Federation, one refrigerator at a time

This week, I decided to see if 9 had anything to say. Not only did the participants there have much to say, they also wanted additional questions (I originally only had one). This has been one of the most enthusiastic groups I’ve ever polled. Let’s see what they said.

>tune 9
Channel selected...

Which Sol Mobile would you most like to have as a pet and why?

Wickedascin: "the pirate, so I can kill him on a regular basis... cause he evaded me and made me angry for a long time."

Rasal: "I'd say one of the grizzles. They're cute, fuzzy, warm and like to ponderously look at people."

Anjuli: "That technician would make a nice pet. :)"

Westmoreland: "I would like to have the cleaner - I'm a Duke, I have no time for cleaning."

Midrats: "I'd say the black cat, so I could use it as a body guard :)"

Munchkin: "Mine would be the black cat so I could kick it around Sol :)"

When you first began traveling around Sol, which planet fascinated you the most and why?

Rasal: "The sun. It's cute, fuzzy, warm and ponderously large."

Westmoreland: "The Moon - I was new and poor and there was a CASINO ;)"

Munchkin: "The Moon, I thought it was romantic :)"

Anjuli: "Earth, I was always trying to find out what was west of the mansion."

Wickedascin: "well, I was so happy to be able to find one - because I am directionally challenged - that I think they all held a special place in my heart because I was able to land. Ok, I could not find my ship afterwards, but still... they were all spec."

What do you think the cleaner does with all the items it finds?

Munchkin: "Sells them to the black market in CDs :) It's how they fund Diesel's vices."

Thulium: "Jelly, the cleaner puts all the objects it finds in the same place that the dryer in your house sends the one sock :)"

Wickedascin: "I believe in my heart that he hoards them and sacrifices them to Barb at GM."

Rasal: "Hmm, he probably keeps all the cute, warm, fuzzy and ponderous items and tosses the rest in the mansion's bathroom.

Midrats: "Sells them to Mario for extra groats :)"

Thanks to everyone on 9 for all their enthusiasm!

Want to contact me for any reason? Send an email to Jelly@columnist.com.

ALSATIAN'S PLANET REVIEW: DOG'S FANTASTIC GOOD FORTUNE

It's been a busy and exciting week for yours truly. Spotting the opportunity to do some under the covers – I mean undercover work for Fed, I applied for a position as Stud Dog at the illicit puppy farm business my keen nose had unearthed last week.

Recognizing a true stud when they saw one, the management immediately offered me a position. It is, of course, contingent on meeting certain criteria within the next three weeks. I will attempt to criteria as many of those poor lonely bitches as I can during that time.

It was a hard decision; do I continue to beg and plead for puzzles and planets to review, walking my paws raw, stumbling over bad grammar and creating endless run-on sentences in my reviews? Or, do I take a few weeks to test my virility and further investigate all these single females – I mean this puppy mill business in Fed? After soul-searching deliberation (half a second), I reached a decision. I'm sorry to say that Fed DataSpace will have to do without my presence over the next couple weeks.

The planet review queue is empty. Hazed hasn't yelled at me about digging holes for several weeks. I've just gotten my shots, a bath, and suffered through that hideous yearly canine dental cleaning. My letter requesting a leave of absence has already been posted, and the future couldn't be brighter!

Please do continue to submit your puzzles and mazes for advertising, and your planets for formal review. I'll let them pile up in my doghouse and continue to work the queue as soon as my trial period at the puppy farm is over. After all, I figure I'll have to come home to rest and recharge every once in a while!

The hound barks a jaunty farewell and trots down the lane to meet his destiny. You watch him disappear around the corner and, chuckling, you turn back to your business at hand. But wait a minute – what's that you see lying in the mud just outside his doghouse? It looks like a letter has fallen from the post box. It's too late to catch Alsatian, but maybe it's something important. Or maybe you're just nosy and want to see what kind of mail he gets. You shake the water and mud off the letter and read:

Dear Alsatian,

You're going WHERE? You're doing WHAT? Listen, you mangy mutt, I pay you to write planet reviews, not to slope off on a frenzy of fornication. And anyway, I thought Dr. Fogg took care of your crown jewels month's ago... either you've lied your way into that puppy farm, with false credentials, or the good doctor owes me my money back!

And another thing... isn't this the puppy farm you were fulminating about in last week's article? The one you were so shocked about? Seems like a sudden u-turn to me.

Well, you needn't expect any biscuits or bones from me until you're back on the job. And I mean the planet-reviewing job, not the bitch-servicing job!

Hazed

FEDLYMPICS
by Horatio

Okay, kids, as promised, this week we're going to mull over the idea of Olympics in Federation. I'll give you a couple minutes ostensibly to let you think on the topic a bit, but more accurately to stall so I can go get another drink (caffeine, the miracle writing chemical). Frankly, the idea of Olympics in Fed is really entertaining enough. Just think of how we could add/change the typical Olympic repertoire:

Javelin - spears are outdated, so we use missiles. While an entertainment boost in and of itself, the opponent has to try to dodge the incoming weapon.

4-by-4 Relay - this is another event we'll have to move to space, as most of us have been softened by years of sitting in bars with free cheesecake.

Kayaking - with all the water minis we have in Fed, this should be a pretty easy event to hold, despite our Fed modifications to the sport, namely, torpedoes.

500 Meter Dash - although this event is routinely held in Fed when dad notices daughter and boyfriend getting a little too friendly for his taste, we're going to can it as an Olympic sport and replace it with the 500 light-year bar crawl. (If your liver doesn't explode, you finish.)

Mud wrestling - most of the denizens of Fed do this anyway, and the regular form of wrestling just won't draw a crowd in our little universe.

Of course, these are only summer games. We could find a few icy planets and run some winter games. The trouble is, most of those games are fun enough already, so few modifications will need to be made. After all, considering it will be us playing these games, that adds a new dimension of entertainment all by itself. Think: when was the last time you saw an Olympic ski-jumper go on their run after having six drinks (and carry a seventh through the jump?)? Never. Figure skating will have to be cancelled, unfortunately; the best we can usually hope for is flailing around on the ice in some semblance of coordinated movement. Speed skating would be amusing forthe same reason as ski jumping. It goes without saying that the equipment will probably become nonstandard very quickly; POs will keep lobbying to be allowed to use workthingies as skis, I'm sure. But that, friends, is very unkind.

The Committee will consider it.

Not that anybody ever does, but if any of you wish to tell me anything, I will as always be glad to hear from you. Simply email your comments/questions/whatevers (no subpoenas, please) to Horatio_TheWriter@excite.com!

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO STYLE
by the ever-stylish Danny

You may have read last week's how-to guide on correct debating processes. Well, thanks to the overwhelming response to it (by which I mean nobody sent angry emails about it) I'm writing another in the series. This one is about style in DataSpace.

Now before you assume this is VH-1 Fashion Awards-type style, think again. Like I know anything about that. I've worn the same Hawaiian shirt for over two years. This is about personal style in actions and dialogue. Style as in class or vogue or, if you live in California, coolness.

Stop right there. Before you go assuming things again this is not a guide on how to have style. Style is subjective (look it up). This is a guide on something I do know: how not to have style. There's that cynicism you've been waiting for! Now I present to you: ways to kill your style.

1. The "l33t h@xorz" (Elite Haxors) method.

This was popularized by 14 year olds who thought it would be cool to be hackers, way back in the late 20th century. They got their own little quirks like using "@" instead of "a" and putting "z" in place of "s" at the ends of words, and they'd go into AOL chat rooms and brag about using Netbus and calling themselves hackers (or, as they like to say, h@ckerz). This earned them the branding of 'haxors', which they adopted and butchered. Their inhuman method of speech, especially the uber-annoying Z thing, worked their ways into Internet language. Some people go so far as to disgrace the English language by calling it slang. Believe me people, it's not cool and it only gets you laughed at.

2. The "Reflected Glory" method.

This way people used to attempt to be cool is popular in the fabled Real World. What happens is this. Someone does something that's borderline cool at best like get a new hairstyle, use a new word, criticize a new rule, pretend to be housepets, etc. This is fine. The trouble starts when others see this as cool. Then, next thing you know, the world is overrun by people with Jennifer Anniston hairstyles or legal adults pretending to be talking cats. This is bad. For style to be style it has to be relatively unique and personal.

3. The "Rage Against the Machine" method.

The third and (for this article) final bad thing - there are more, just not that I'm listing - is the idea some people have that if you challenge authority you're cool. By fighting The Man you are not a stylish person. You're a loser who can't accept the fact that someone has power over you. It's a well-known fact that protests are the least effective way to see change. They not only don't help, they often hinder the protester's cause. Do yourself a favor and accept the rules, and if you want them changed discuss it rationally. Besides becoming the person who makes the rules, rational discussion is the way to go. (The discussion must be considered rational by both sides. If either side sees it as ranting it's useless, and if you have to argue that it's not ranting then it is.)

So that's my quick guide on how to kill all illusion of style. Now how to have style, that's harder. Avoid the things above and do your own thing, style will meet you eventually. But it has to be unique.

Stay tuned, next time I plan to do a how-to on a topic I haven't exactly thought up yet. Suggestions? DannyW@Metallica.com. And remember, flaming incoherent rebuttals give me just as many ideas as nice statements, as well as a good laugh.

WEVENGE OF DA WABBIT

When Wabbit logged on to tend his planet recently, strange events ensued...

Catspaws comms, "It be da wabbit :) ::meows/barks::"
Huntress comms, "Da widdle Wabbit."
Catspaws, "::chants:: Me gonna hunt wabbit."
Huntress, "does her best Elmer Fudd."
Catspaws, "::does her best cat/dog::"
Wolfyn comms, "::does her best::"
Catspaws comms, "::sniffs the ground and unsheathes her claws::"
Chelsia comms, "as the canine is known for sniffing certain areas it kinda makes you wonder how cat/dog handled that need..."
Catspaws comms, "::lifts her head:: I would NEVER!"
Chelsia comms, "that's because you are more cat than dog Cats.. there is hope..."
Catspaws comms, "::meows/barks and tries to wag her poodle tail::"
Wabbit comms, "Oh my ears and whiskers!"
Wabbit comms, "I cannot believe you would want to hurt a cuddly bunny like me!"
Starseeker comms, "shhh be bery, bery quiet, I'm huntin wabbits."
Catspaws comms, "::sniffs the ground, her poodle tail straight in the air:: Gonna get me a wabbit!"
Chelsia comms, "I just want one foot Wabbit... come on.. gimmeeeeee."
Chelsia comms, "you have three others."
Wolfyn comms, "CatDogPaws finds you those ears become breakfast. :("
Wabbit, No, no, stop it! You'll all being mean to me!

Kai's DREAMING troublemaker, Catspaws has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.
Wabbit cowers
Catspaws purrs/barks

>ex catspaws
The duchess sports a cute French Poodle costume, with pink bows on her ears and tail, and tries really hard to bark, not purr!

Chelsia comms, ":::shuffles the keys on her keyring to make room:::: e/g."
Catspaws comms, "I found da wabbit :P."

"Oh my ears and whiskers! What ARE you?", Wabbit asks.
Wabbit woffles his nose in confusion.

Wolfyn comms, "Breakfast is served!"
Starseeker comms, "dont worry I'm done with my Elmer Fudd complex, wabbit, ;)"
Bront comms, "Serving Lamb Woolyn?"
Triton comms, "Silly Wabbit... :) Tis the law of cat/dogs .. they eat animules .. fortunately cat/dogs hate fish .."

Wabbit exclaims, "I know to be afraid of cats... and I am terrified of dogs... but you seem to be an amalgam of both. How very peculiar!"
"I'm in trouble I think", smiles Catspaws.
Catspaws sniffs the ground and unsheaths her claws as she edges closer to breakfast
Wabbit isn't sure how to react to this strange beast - all his instincts are confused.

Chelsia comms, "ummmm when you are done devouring the Wabbit... can I have a foot?"
Wolfyn comms, "Who lied to you about that, Triton? Morning Bront. :)"
Triton comms, "They aint lucky fer the wabbit, why would they be lucky fer you ?"
Wabbit comms, Chelsia, that's a very nasty thing to say. You have feet of your own - why do you want to take mine?
Triton comms, "I read it in the cat/dog handbook .."
Wolfyn comms, "The limited edition for fish, eh?"
Triton comms, "Cause Wabbit, her feet would look funny danglin from the rear view mirror ..."
Chelsia comms, "if my foot looked as good on a keychain I wouldn't want yours Wabbit ;)"
Wabbit comms, A KEYCHAIN? How trivial!
Triton comms, "<-- stole a copy Wolf :)"
Wabbit comms, How would you feel if I wanted YOUR foot to make into a... a... earring or something!
Triton comms, "Perhaps, but there aint enough meat on the foot to cook it .."
Chelsia comms, "hey wait my feet have dangled from... errr... ummmm... :::::whistles::::"
Catspaws comms, "::starts a fire:: Breakfast is served at Fedruckers :)"
Wabbit comms, No! No! HELP!

Woolyn, formerly known as Wolfyn has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.
Wabbit trembles in fear at the wolf... erm... sheep?
Wolfyn sniffs at the Wabbit, then sniffs at Catspaws, just for fun.
"Goodness, another mixed up animal! What is going on?", Wabbit asks.
"Lots of porter problems for me, Catpaws is just... confused.", says Wolfyn.

Chelsia comms, ":::finds her wabbit axe and heads for Fedruckers.. ummm can't remember where... stretchs her brain.. castillo?::::"
Wabbit comms, Erm... No Chel, it's on Titan! Honest.
Catspaws comms, "Fish dont eat wabbit."
Triton comms, "We dont ? <grumbles>"
Chelsia comms, "bbbeeeeep.. wrong."

Wabbit asks, "Does it make you more dangerous, or less?"
"Only if I get hungry.", says Wolfyn.
Wabbit gulps.
Catspaws says, "Cats like rabbit....dogs like rabbit...."
"I think you're in trouble.", says Wolfyn with a frown.
Catfish in training, Triton has just arrived.
Triton grins

"Now, please, people... erm... animals... erm... just take a look at me. Have you ever seen anything so adorable and cute? How could you consider eating me?", Wabbit asks.

>ex Wabbit
Soft grey fur, long floppy ears, a fluffy white tail, whiskers, and a cute little pink nose... you just want to pick him up and cuddle him!

Catspaws meows/barks at the fishie
Wolfyn baahs at Triton.
Wabbit asks, "Oh no, a fish wants to eat me too?"
"He'll just nibble.", says Wolfyn with a wink.
Triton says, "Nahh ... im here for moral support .."
Wabbit asks, "Moral support for who? The cat/dog? The wolf/sheep?"
Catspaws tries to bat the rabbit with her poodle tail
Triton isnt sure yet ...
Triton meows
Wabbit ducks out of the way and attempts to dig a borough in the floor. Which unfortunately is made out of hardened concrete covered with plastic.
"Cat/fish ya know", says Triton.
Wolfyn grins.
Catspaws meows/barks her approval
Triton still cant purr properly .. havent finished basic training ..
Wabbit looks around in panic.

>l
Fedruckers
This large bar is decorated in garish yellow and bright blue, with rows of tables filled with raucous diners.
Hordes of small children, many of them green and some with tentacles, cluster around the latest arcade machine, 'Martian Invasion,' which makes the most peculiar hooting and hammering noises. This makes it hard to hear the names being called over the loudspeaker.
Kai's DREAMING troublemaker, Catspaws is here.
Woolyn, formerly known as Wolfyn is here.
Catfish in training, Triton is here.

Wabbit dashes across the room and jumps onto the top of one of the arcade machines.
"Not to worry Wabbit, theyve had my cloning card for ages, even franchised me as fast food ..", says Triton.
Catspaws tries to bound onto the machine and falls to the floor, her canine side uncoordinated
Wolfyn grins.
Wabbit asks, "Would you try to eat a combination of a rabbit and a ... skunk?"
Wolfyn says, "Oh my."
Catspaws hises/howls and backs up behind Wolfyn
Wabbit lifts his tail and threatens to spray you with noxious fluid.
Wolfyn smells bad enough as it is!
"Or how about a rabbit and a ... jellyfish?", Wabbit asks.
Wabbit 's body turns to jello; no matter how much you try to bite him, your teeth just bounce off.
Triton says, "Nahh Wabbit, then youd be spineless .. and boneless ... easier eating .."
Wolfyn whips off the 8 cup size DDD bra, and uses it to shield everyone.
"Chose a cup.", says Wolfyn.
Wabbit says, "Oh. Drat."
"Well... how about a cross between a rabbit and a... a... oh no, I can't think of anything!", Wabbit exclaims.
Wabbit wails.
Catspaws gets lost in the bra
Triton Whispers ... Wabbit and porcupine
"Yes! A rabbit and a porcupine!", Wabbit exclaims.
Triton pokes cats through the adjacent cup
Wolfyn exclaims, "Ouch!"
Wabbit 's soft fur suddenly turns into prickles.
Wabbit fires a barrage at quills at the animals that want to eat him.
Wolfyn holds up the bra.
"Take that, you aggressive carnivores!", Wabbit exclaims.
Triton mentions it was his idea and shouldnt get quilled
Wabbit adjusts his aim so that Triton is no longer in the field of fire.
Catspaws hisses/howls as she cowers inside the bra in safety

"Now who's going to eat who, huh?", Wabbit asks.
Wolfyn frowns and says, "I'll never be able to get this back on now."

Triton, "We now have an official Wabbipine ... or Porcubit ..."
Wabbit, I think I prefer Porcubit.
Bront, "Porcubit sounds like pork dish."
Catspaws, "::perks::"

Triton stretches cup #3, where he currently is residing ...
Half porcupine, half Wabbit is here.
Wolfyn chuckles at the new mood.
Wabbit says, "Goodness, not only has my body become covered with spines, but my whole mental outlook is toughening up."
Wabbit says, "No longer will I quake with fear at any loud noise. I won't take the insults any more."
Triton cowers, Mad Wabbit on the loose
"No more cowering and cringing for the Wabbit, eh?", asks Wolfyn.
"Absolutely none! This time, I'm turning the tables on the hunters... anyone comes after me, they've got a surprise in store!", Wabbit exclaims.
Triton beats on the table to test the Porcubit
"Until he runs out of quills, then he's lunch", says Catspaws.
Triton laughs ..
"I can get artificial quills. A quill-firing gun.", Wabbit says.
Triton says, "Its just easier to get munched on, reinsure and move on til next time .."
Wolfyn chuckles.
"It's the principle of the thing, Triton. I'm sick and tired of being the butt of the animal kingdom; the bottom of the Fed food chain.", Wabbit says.
Wolfyn thought Triton was.
Triton thinks ya aint the bottom .. as for the butt .. hadnt looked that close
Wabbit says, "I was cute and cuddly, and what did I get for it? Insults. Demands for my feet. Threats to eat me."
"Well, no more Mr Nice Wabbit!", Wabbit exclaims.
Triton laughs ...
"I'm gonna be a baaaaaad bunny.", Wabbit says.
WWolfyn baahs and cowers.
Catspaws meows/barks
Catspaws is looking at you...
Triton whispers to Cats, What does wabbit taste like anyway ... anything like minnow ?
Wabbit fires a quill in Triton's direction.
Catspaws whispers back, "Prety close to cod actually..."
Triton snickers, im Urchin proof, so it follows im quil proof
"You wanna ask yourself one question, punk: Do I feel lucky?", Wabbit asks.
Wolfyn grins.
"Cod is good fishie .. specially with some chips ..", says Triton.
Wabbit cocks his quill-gun and rests his finger on the ever-so-sensitive trigger.
Catspaws purrs/howls smugly
Wolfyn says, "Mean mean bunny."

Triton, "Ive created Rambunny ..."
"Now you know how I felt!", Wabbit exclaims.
Wabbit exclaims, "Yes, that's my new name! Rambunny!"
Wolfyn laughs.
The Rambunny formerly known as Wabbit is here.
Triton laughs ... Hes mean, hes tough, hes furry hes cute ..
"I need new clothes.", Wabbit says.
"New armor.", says Wolfyn with a wink.
Triton says, "yes, lemme hold your old quill covered ones while you change .."
Wabbit says, "I think a quick visit to Tux Deluxe is in order."
Wabbit says, "Don't go away..."
"I'll be back!", Wabbit exclaims.

[Exit bunny, to return as...]

>ex Wabbit
It's no more Mr Nice Wabbit, this is a baaad bunny! Ready for action, carrying a huge quill-firing weapon, and loaded for bear and all other animals.

"I told you I'd be back!", Wabbit exclaims.
Triton laughs
"Uh oh.", says Wolfyn.
Wabbit glares round the room aggressively.
Catspaws hides inside Cup #5
Galinfenner asks, "squire of cabbage?"
Catspaws is looking at you...
Wolfyn cowers and holds up the bra again.
Galinfenner ponders
Wabbit asks, "Yeah? Wanna make something of it, punk?"
Triton isnt an animal and grabs the bunny in the Porcutongs ...
"Quick quick .. get the porcupad ..", says Triton.
Galinfenner thinks he'll keep quiet ;)
Wabbit twists out of Triton's fishy grip, does a roll across the floor, and takes cover behind a drinks machine.
Catspaws grabs the Porcupot and adds hot water
Triton mentions that ya add cool water and make it hot in the porcupot
Wolfyn whispers to Galin, "8 cups in this bra if you need to hide behind it. Plenty of room. Quill absorbant."
Wabbit aims the quill gun in the general direction of Catspaws.
"an eight cup bra. Hmmmm", says Galinfenner.
Triton walks towards the rabbit, porccupot lid in hand as a shield
Catspaws scampers back inside the bra just in time
Wolfyn says, "Lots of pups."
Wabbit flings a rope at the ceiling, where it attaches to the light fitting.
Triton looks around, realizing he is all alone against Rambit ...
Triton gulps
"I have a porcupine fryer too if we need it", says Catspaws.
Wabbit jumps up and grabs the rope, swinging across the room over your heads.
Wolfyn frowns and says, "Uh oh, that doesn't look good."
Wolfyn cranes her head to watch.
Wabbit lands on the counter, scattering Fedrucker burgers in all directions.
Wolfyn wolfs them down wolfishly.
Triton scampers to the porcupot, spilling water everywhere
Wabbit tosses a grenade into the kitchen, then rolls off the counter and shelters under the table.
Galinfenner lights an orange stick of dynamite and tosses it to the crazy rabbit.
"Have a carrot Wabbit.", says Galinfenner.
Catspaws bounds up and grabs a few burgers before hiding back in the bra
Wabbit grabs the dynamite and hurls it into the kitchen after the grenade.
Wabbit counts to 3, then the kitchen explodes in a shower of meat.
Galinfenner wonders where Elmer Fudd is when you need him.
"Really bad bad baaaahd bunny.", says Wolfyn with a frown.
"Kewl, its raining meat, ... least it aint fish ..", says Triton.
Wabbit says, "Yeah, and you ain't seen nothing yet, Wolfy baby."
Catspaws meows/barks
Triton points out the froth showing at the Wabbits mouth
Wabbit grabs the Wolf/Sheep/Hybrid thing and sweeps her into a passionate embrace.
Wolfyn nudges Catspaws. "You get your shots this year?", she asks.
Wolfyn ooofs.
Triton says, "I know, we need Mutual of Omaha and their dart gun .."
Catspaws speaks in her comm unit trying to summon a vet
"Ya know things are bad when a cat/dog is summoning a vet ..", says Triton.
Wabbit , after a long and passionate kiss, drops the wolf, jerks his quill-gun back into place, and resumes his fight against his enemies.
Wolfyn looks over the Rambunny. "I was thinking more of a Sheeperd, but you may do!"
Catspaws shudders and nods
Triton says, "Mad Bunny kisses Wolf, film at 11"
Wolfyn waggles her eyebrows.
Wolfyn waggles the 8 cup size DDDD bra.
Wabbit whirls on the spot as a waitdroid comes up behind him. With a flying kick, he demolishes the hapless droid, sending its components in all directions.
Catspaws almost falls out of the bra
Triton swings side to side ... good lord lady wolf .. knock that off ..
Triton holds a lighter to the auto-sprinkler system, hoping water will melt the mad wabbit
Wabbit 's fur gets plastered down by the water, which somehow makes him look even more Rambo-esque.
Wolfyn in in LOVE. Great kisser, fine droid demolisher, and quills.
"Eeek, he's starting to resemble KAI!", exclaims Catspaws.
Wolfyn smiles, "Lunch included."
Triton whispers to cats, umm we may not be safe in this monster bra much longer
Wabbit blows a kiss to Wolfyn. "Hasta la vista, baby," he says, as he prepares for his big exit.
Wolfyn swoons.
Wabbit starts to dash for the back exit, leaping over furniture, shoving obstacles out of his way; then he flings himself at the large doors, expecting them to shatter under his awesome power...
"Uh oh.", says Wolfyn.
"Thats gonna hurt ..", says Triton.
Wolfyn nods.
Wabbit is disappointed, because the doors are made of dura-steel; he bounces off them, hits his head on a can of cola, and collapses on the floor, unconcious.
Galinfenner snickers in his cappacino
Wolfyn bawls.
Triton jumps up, scoops up rambit in the porcupot and slams down the lid
Catspaws peeks out from CUp #5
Triton sits on the lid
"mmm... stewed rabbit?", asks Galinfenner.
Wolfyn sobs, heartbroken.
Wolfyn perks, food?
Catspaws meows/barks
Triton bounces up and down on the lid .. Umm little help here
Wabbit 's conciousness returns slowly. He realises something is wrong. He bangs on the lid of the pot. He makes the statutory witty quip in the face of danger:
Wabbit exclaims, "Now I'm really in hot water!"
Catspaws creeps out a little further from Cup #5
Wolfyn laughs.
Triton says, "Get yer doggie butt over here kitty and help ... sheeesh"
Wabbit says, "You could say, I'm up to my neck in it."
Catspaws tries to wag her poodle tail
Triton lifts the pot onto the stove and fumbles for a match
Wabbit notices something odd... all the trappings of his new Rambo persona seem to be floating off in the soupy water, and dissolving into the broth!
Triton grumbles .. Yad think theyd have a pilot light ...
Catspaws dives forward, accidentally knocking the pot off the stove
Wolfyn says, "Um, seasoning."
Wabbit 's quill gun vanishes with a "gloop" and the quills all go soggy.
Triton grumbles Clumsy cat /dog ...
Wabbit 's muscles kind of deflate, and his gleaming bronze skin returns to its customary brown fur.
"This is going to mean I'll have to put the bra back on.", says Wolfyn with a frown.
Catspaws tries to get her footing in the water
Wabbit tumbles out of the pot as it falls off the stove.
Triton snickers at the cat
Wolfyn loses her infatuation and starts thinking lunch again.
Wabbit rolls clear and sitds, bedraggled, amongst the debris. He bursts into tears.
"Yep, lunch.", says Wolfyn.
Triton says, "So broth is like Kryptonite to a Rambunny .."
Wabbit sobs, "It's not fair!"
Wolfyn writes the memorial for yet another lost love, Rambunny.
Wabbit says, "Just once, I got to play the baaad bunny, and you all had to spoil it."
Catspaws exclaims, "Why are YOU crying? I'm acting like a ::shudder:: POODLE! And just LOOK, they shaved all my fur!"
Triton says, "Well ya wouldnt have spioiled, they have refridgeration here"
Catspaws sits beside the wabbit and cries too
Wabbit exclaims, "I liked being tough. I wanted to get the girl. Well, the bitch. The ewe. Whatever!"
Triton thought it kinda exciting .. shaved cat and all ...
Wabbit woffles his nose at Wolfyn. "I guess this means the end of our relationship?"
Catspaws sobs, "And that silly fish STILL can't purr!:
Triton meows
"Hey, tis no small feat to be able to meow ya know ..", says Triton.
Wolfyn sniffs at Wabbit, and starts to drool. "We could still have a relationship", she says.
Wabbit sits up straight, his ears standing to attention. "We could?"
"Kinda a love / "ate" relationship ?", asks Triton.
Wolfyn smiles, "Let's do lunch sometime."
Wabbit exclaims, "Sure thing baby!"
Wabbit winks sexily at Wolfyn.

Wabbit has just disappeared.

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