Web Fed News Yearbooks - May 2000

THE MONTH IN BRIEF

Xslaught was awarded a Carpenter's award for his planet, Darklight, which is a puzzle with every location being part of the puzzle. Thulium was also handed a Carpenter's award for Thorus, a zero-gravity system. You can read both reviews in the archives at http://www.ibgames.net/archives/fed/webplanetreviews/index.html.

Virus fever hit the Internet again as the Love Bug virus swept the world in record time. It destroyed data on computers and caused severe slow-downs as mail servers everywhere were clogged up with traffic. So remember... never open attached files, unless you are absolutely sure you know what it is, not even if it's being sent by someone you trust; and make sure you have anti-virus software installed on your computer and that you keep it updated.

STRATEGY FOR FINDING THE GM

I was talking to an Adventurer recently, who used to play back in the days of AOL Fed, and he was moaning - as many Adventurers do - about having to find the GM. He groused that he'd had to do it several times back in the old days, and it always took him ages; this time looked like taking even longer.

I decided that this poor chap, and other Adventurers like him, needed some help. I sat down to wrestle with the problem, and came up with the following strategy to make the task of finding that elusive GM just a little bit easier.

It is a well-known fact that anything lost, that needs to be searched for, will always be found in the last place you look. Leaving aside the fact that since you always stop looking after you find something, then of course the last place you look is where it is... what I really mean is, it will always be in the most unlikely place, the place you wouldn't dream it would be in a million years.

Therefore, in order to find anything lost, you need to look in the most unlikely place.

In the case of the GM, here's the way you should conduct your search. First, make a list of all the places the GM could be. That means, everywhere in the Solar System that is not a death location.

Next, assign each of those locations a value, between 1 and 100, based on how likely you think it is that the GM will be hiding there. 100 should be for the places you think most likely, down to 1 for the least likely places.

Then cross off the list all of the places that you didn't assign a "1" to. You will be left with those places that you feel are the most unlikely hiding places. Note that this must be your opinion; because your GM is a personal thing, and nobody else can find him for you, you cannot ask your friends to help with this task.

Now look at your list of unlikely places, and sort them into order, so that of your unlikely places, the really unlikely one, the most ludicrous one, the place the GM cannot possibly be, is at the top of the list.

Then go to that place. I guarantee you, your GM will be there!

THINGS THAT PLAYERS DO TO ANNOY EACH OTHER, NUMBER 34,927

I've run into a number of people in the last few weeks who don't understand the rules about posts on the electronic bar board - they can't tell the difference between what's allowed, and not allowed. I spent some time explaining it to one player, and I thought it was also worth explaining it in the Chronicle in case there's anyone else out in Fed DataSpace who is confused.

Just to forestall any possible rioting and campaigning against the fascist demi-goddess... I am not introducing a new rule here. This rule has always been in force in web Fed. I'm simply explaining it in more detail, so there's no misunderstanding.

The rule is that posts on the bar board should not insult other individual players, or groups of players.

What exactly do I mean by "insult"? I mean that they should not be derogatory. You should not make negative statements about other people.

Let's take as an example a rivalry between two duchy groups. We'll call them X and Y. No, that's boring - we'll call them Yak and Zog.

Someone from Yak posts that Yak is the greatest. That's fine, there is no problem at all with claiming that you or your group is the best. It doesn't have to be true, but anyone can claim they are the best.

Someone from Zog disagrees. On the contrary, they post, Yak isn't the greatest - Zog is the greatest, being completely and utterly the most wonderful group ever to have existed. Again, no problem.

Someone else from Yak is outraged and decides they cannot let this go without response. Not only are Zog not the greatest, he posts, they are complete scoundrels that eat babies and have sex with marsrats. Now this is where the rules get broken. The statements about Zog are negative statements, and they are insults. That's not allowed. It doesn't matter whether the statements are true or not - derogatory statements are not allowed.

Fed isn't a presidential campaign where you make the worst allegations you can think up against your opponent. It's a social universe where you are expected to simply ignore the people you don't like. So it's fine to claim you're the best - it is not fine to comment on why another group is not the best.

Of course this rule applies to the comms as well, but posts on the board have a more serious effect than messages spoken on the comms, because they stick around for everyone to read long after the poster has logged off.

SOL EXPOSE: THE LUNCHEON VOUCHER

Luncheon vouchers are pieces of paper that can be exchanged for food in certain shops. They are popular in the UK as a benefit given to staff by their employers, to be used to buy sandwiches for lunch. So why do we have one in Fed?

Let's take a look at the Fed LV:

You see a discarded luncheon voucher in the corner.
It looks much the same as luncheon vouchers have throughout the centuries. The only unusual thing about it is that someone has written the name 'Cynthia' on the reverse...

The clue as to its significance is that name, Cynthia. It is a reference to a British sex scandal of the 70s and 80s.

Cynthia is Cynthia Paine. She was a madam who ran a brothel in Streatham, a respectable suburb of London. Eventually the police raided and Cynthia was charged with keeping a disorderly house and there followed an trial that kept the nation amused for a while. One of the details which everyone found most entertaining was that when guests arrived at Cynthia's establishment, she would give them luncheon vouchers in exchange for the expected payment; they would then hand the LVs to the girls to obtain their... erm... services.

For quite some time, anyone using luncheon vouchers for the most innocent of purposes would be met with knowing sniggers.

And that is a clue to what the LV is used for in Fed!

A film was made about Cynthia Paine's life, called Personal Services, which is very funny. It stars Julie Walters. Unfortunately, I think it's out of print, although you may find it in the shops.

PAPER GROATS

Ever wondered what a groat looks like? Well, mostly, groats do not actually exist as real things you can pick up and look at. Most transactions are handled electronically. When you buy a drink, trade, or give groats to a friend you are not physically handing over notes or coins; you are simply transferring digits from your bank balance to theirs. Even on the most out-of-the-way, primitive planets electronic transfer takes care of monetary needs.

Isn't technology wonderful?

But sometimes humans and other beings require some concrete proof of their wealth. Counting a big pile of clanky change, or riffling through a wad of notes, gives a certain satisfaction and confirms your monetary status in a way that a string of numbers on an electronic display cannot.

Tradition, too, prevents real, physical money from becoming completely obsolete. Witness the slot machine that needs a coin to operate it - it would be easy to convert the machine to take electronic transfers, but people rather like having to insert an old-fashioned coin to get results.

Then there are ceremonial reasons for wanting money you can handle. Anniversaries and other special occasions are always a good reason to mint some real, folding stuff. Notes such as these will be used at this weekend's Fed Meet in Maine. The various games and pastimes will use real groat notes, devised by Ibunyc. If you're not at the meet, you can still take a look at the groats because the designs have been published on the web at http://rand.pratt.edu/~inichols/fednote.html.

MISSION TO MARS

"Many space enthusiasts have fastened on to a manned mission to Mars as the right way to revive interest in the space program... The bad news is that we cannot do it just yet... The good news is that we can learn how."

That's from the opening paragraphs of a fascinating article about what has gone wrong with the drive to space, and what can be done to revitalize it. The article is by Jerry Pournelle, a well-known writer of science fiction books, as well as articles on science, computing and other topics.

Dr Pournelle's detailed article comes up with a plan which breaks the monumental task down into smaller, do-able chunks which could see man walking on the surface of Mars within 15 years. It's an exciting vision.

You can read the article at http://www.intellectualcapital.com/issues/issue369/item9156.asp.