TOP
TEN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
by Tickenest
| 10.
|
Pay back the
person who paid off my original ship loan. |
| 9.
|
Finish that
hauling job I accepted LAST January. |
| 8.
|
Stop wearing
that silly hospital gown. |
| 7.
|
Throw out
that meat that's been sitting in my exchange for
a year. |
| 6.
|
Perform at
least 50 hours of community service at the Snert
Recovery Ward. |
| 5.
|
Cancel that
AOL Visa card. |
| 4.
|
Stop
forgetting which loo on Earth is which. |
| 3.
|
Retire from
illegal LanzariK trafficking. |
| 2.
|
Find more
constructive ways to waste time while doing
builds. |
| 1.
|
Stop writing such
god-awful Top Ten Lists. |
TOP TEN
POSSIBILITIES FOR THE INFAMOUS CODE 7
by Qul, Squire of Boreth
| 10.
|
Security
Droid malfunctioned and attacked an innocent
bystander. |
| 9.
|
GroundHog
became lost on way to bored looking official. |
| 8.
|
Lag/Punt
Monster sighting. |
| 7.
|
Guard dog got
out of the mansion... 'nuff said. |
| 6.
|
Journeyman
BigGroat slipped on his marbles after reclaiming
them. |
| 5.
|
Ming found
out a Trader made a profit in Sol. |
| 4.
|
Accumulation
of transporter dust. |
| 3.
|
Mess from yet
another suicide. |
| 2.
|
Terminated
offending baggage. |
| 1.
|
Assassinated NewBod. |
TOP TEN
SIGNS YOU'VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR THE DUKE PUZZLE
| 10.
|
Barons/Baronesses
have started a "I'm a Baron and you're
not" Guild. |
| 9.
|
You see a lot
more Barons dumping on Agri planets. |
| 8.
|
Several
Barons have DDed and started Fed all over again. |
| 7.
|
Some have
traded planets with a Squire. |
| 6.
|
You see a lot
more Barons remodeling their planet. |
| 5.
|
You watch as
the "I'm a Baron and you're not" Guild
crush everyone in the arena. |
| 4.
|
Barons are
actually doing lag tests. |
| 3.
|
The ruins get
blown up every 3 hours, kind of like Old
Faithful. |
| 2.
|
The "I'm
a Baron and you're not" Guild starts a civil
war just to have something to do. |
| 1.
|
They have numbered
everyone who will do the Duke puzzle from Baron
to Groundhog! |
TOP TEN
PORTING PERKS
by Tickenest
Well, it finally happened. After
slightly over a year of owning planet Tick, I finally
built my very own teleporter. I then proceeded to die
forty-seven thousand times within an hour, even with the
lag. Much to my dismay, I, contrary to my hopes, was
unable to telefrag people, as I had hoped to. (Note:
A telefrag is the teleporting into space already occupied
by another person. The person telefragged becomes tiny
bits and the telefragger emerges unscathed. I suppose
this feature was not included in Federation because it
might upset some people and it's probably hard to program
into a text-based game anyway.) Still, having gotten over
this disappointment, I found many advantages to having a
teleporter. Therefore, I give you...
| 10.
|
You can haul
eight bays per hour instead of the usual four. |
| 9.
|
You can now
port around with no idea where you're going,
instead of walking around with no idea where
you're going. |
| 8.
|
You can feel
proud of yourself for having removed thousands of
tons of commodities from circulation, parted ways
with a couple gigs, and slaughtered ungodly
numbers of workthingies. |
| 7.
|
The free
refills at Fedruckers. |
| 6.
|
It makes
returning library books on time *SO MUCH* easier. |
| 5.
|
Foolish
Adventurers start thinking you're the GM. |
| 4.
|
Show up for a
meeting in your hospital gown? No problem! |
| 3.
|
You can
escape from the Martian Invasion. (As if it's
EVER coming.) |
| 2.
|
Ditto on
beggars. (Sadly, there's never any doubt of THEIR
arrival.) |
| 1.
|
Your new best friend: the
insurance salesman. |
QUOTES
OF THE MONTH
Your comm unit relays a message
from Slicer, "Argh! When they said Leisure exchange,
I didn't know they meant the workthingies were
asleep!".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Yoyo, "You gotta do what?".
Your comm unit relays a message from Yoyo, "You
gotta redeem!".
Your comm unit relays a message from Yoyo, "You
gotta do what?".
Your comm unit relays a message from Yoyo, "Ya gotta
relieve!".
Your comm unit relays a message from Yoyo, "Ya gotta
do what?".
Your comm unit relays a message from Yoyo, "Ya gotta
be!".
Your comm unit relays a message from Yoyo, "ya gotta
do what?".
Your comm unit relays a message from Zexus, "U gotta
shut up".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Papamia, "I am JamesTsnert, of the starship
secondprize, my five year mission, to annoy strange PO's,
to seek out new snerts and their civilization, to boldly
go where no 12 yr old has gone before.".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Buddykarl, "You are currently building
Education. Construction is approximately 28% complete.
You are currently emptying your stomach. Evacuation is
approximately 95% complete.".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Galinfenner, "::Smooch Peggy:: I'm a host,
we're neutered ;)".
Your comm unit relays a message from Niteghost,
"Galin, neutered means you can get screwed and no
one will ever know.".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Pennim, "Is my com unit not
working???".".
tb Icedrake you there?
Your comm unit signals a tight beam message from
Icedrake, "No. It's your imagination.".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Poco, "Ming's Profits would go through the roof
if this universe were taxed for having bad taste".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Sidewinder, "I am Fluent in 5 forms of
typo".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Mysterion, "Cool! I know what I'm gonna call my
planet then".
Your comm unit relays a message from Mysterion, "I
may call it Tbar just so I can Jump Tbar every chance I
get".
Your comm unit relays a message
from Kurgann, "if you were me who would you
be?".
>xt A monkey's uncle?
There is a brief hum from your communicator.
Your comm unit relays a message from Kurgann, "don't
bring family into this".
MOODS
OF THE MONTH
A frozen slab of Vezmez has entered
the room.
guess who's sleeping in YOUR bed?
Ditzy has just arrived.
a Nauseating Recorded Message reads
Rhart has just moved west.
Q: Why the long face? A: Poco is
here.
No, it's a flashlight in my pocket,
Sterling is here.
Rcent vi ctim f th typ montr
Admiralsisko has just arrived.
I must be drinkin too much. Has
Darthvador moved west.
Call me crazy, but Jaretwright has
entered the room.
BAR
POST OF THE MONTH
210722:657 - Dark: ** Fire sale! **
We have all types of Fire for sale, and it's slashed to
incredible after-christmas prices!!! Get your Fire at the
FIRE SALE!!
CLOTHES
OF THE MONTH
Ex Tyranid
"you see an older man in pajamas holding an overused
teddy bear.....the drool on it is fresh"
ex poco
A picture is worth a thousand words--Get a pen, this
could take awhile!
|
