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EARTHDATE: October 2004

FED FUNNIES

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In the Fed Funnies for October 2004:
POSTS OF THE MONTH
MOODS OF THE MONTH
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
EVER-CHANGING MOOD OF THE MONTH
EXCHANGE EVENTS OF THE MONTH
HALLOWEEN QUOTE OF THE MONTH
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN FED TOO LONG WHEN...


POSTS OF THE MONTH

Stardate: 109611:3938 - Freya: Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.

Stardate: 109629:9677 - Ferreri: Unlike in life... when you make a mistake on a post to the board, you can erase it.

Stardate: 109630:3370 - Gandolf: Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. --Jack Handy Deep Thoughts

Stardate: 109630:6496 - Vlad: A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy. - Jerry Seinfeld

Stardate: 109632:2735 - Fester: Watching Buck Rodgers on SciFi channel:$50 cable bill. Playing Fed2:$10 a month. Play Fed2 while watching Buck Rodgers:Priceless :)

213190:585 - Art: What color does a Smurf turn when you choke him?
213190:840 - Rasal: My Smurf turns red when I choke it...

213190:630 - Urissa: When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. -Anthony J. D'Angelo
213190:844 - Wolfyn: My shrubs tend to die when hacked or dug. Now water they like....

Stardate: 109655:5209 - Hazed: How come Mr. Universe has only ever been won by contestants from the planet Earth?
Stardate: 109655:9324 - Vlad: Because all other species in the universe are too good to soil their reputations by being caught on Earth?

213193:685 - Urissa: To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it. -Josh Jenkins

Stardate: 109668:6714 - Buddy: When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.
Stardate: 109669:2476 - Cen: I dub it the "Butter Kitty Express"

Stardate: 109678:0745 - Gandolf: Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up. --Jack Handy

213196:639 - Urissa: You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on. -Homer Simpson

213197:738 - Rasal: Who is General Failure and why is he trying to read my C: drive?

213197:771 - Urissa: A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -Herm Albright

Stardate: 109702:7269 - Freya: Behind every successful woman... is a substantial amount of coffee.
Stardate: 109703:6727 - Gandolf: I ain't cleaning it up.

213199:002 - Art: If I hear thousands of voices all crying out, then they are suddenly silenced, does that mean it's time for my green pill?

213199:097 - Wolfyn: A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

Stardate: 109706:9995 - Vlad: Two scientists were speaking together at an International Space Composium. The first one boasted, "We put a man on the moon in 1969!" The other scientist scoffed, "That's nothing, we're putting together a team to go to the Sun!" The first scientist said, "You're mad! They'll be burnt to a crisp before they even get close!" To which the second scientist replied, "We're not that stupid! We're sending them at night!"

213199:745 - Rasal: If I can show and tell why can't I kiss and tell?

213200:129 - Wolfyn: Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

213201:086 - Wolfyn: Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

213201:774 - Rasal: Having the last word matters only when you actually have something to say.

Stardate: 109733:2265 - Rissa: Half an hour's meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed. -St. Francis de Sales
Stardate: 109733:4080 - Squeeky: i would rather have an half an hour of sleep :)
Stardate: 109737:5406 - Ferreri: I meditate twice as fast on a busy day.. so I get my 30 minutes done in 15.

Stardate: 109738:0395 - Gandolf: Good Judgement comes from Experience. Experience comes from Poor Judgement.

Stardate: 109741:3456 - Nightdroid: There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who count in binary, and those who don't.

Stardate: 109750:1605 - Chamberlain: So, 500 years ago this Italian guy gets hopelessly lost in the Atlantic, lands on an Island in the Caribean and thinks he's in India. And for this I get a day off. Thanks Columbus!

Stardate: 109777:2385 - Vlad: LOST: 1 mind. It was pulled and stretched and kicked around a bit and some pieces were crumbling and other moldy, but it was all paid for and I would like to have it back.

Stardate: 109777:3056 - Gandolf: NOTICE: I am lost and have gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.

Stardate: 109784:9742 - Gandolf: The person that rows the boat doesn't have time to rock it.

Stardate: 109805:9468 - Rissa: The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill." - Bryan Miller (NY Times Restaurant Critic)

Stardate: 109821:0283 - Gandolf: Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

213213:064 - Wolfyn: Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. . .The other eight are unimportant.

Stardate: 109828:1202 - Gandolf: I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Stardate: 109831:2091 - Freya: We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. -- Kurt Vonnegut
Stardate: 109831:8503 - Gandolf: Sounds like Vonnegut plays Fed

213214:120 - Alone: If you don't pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?

Stardate: 109836:3377 - Hazed: A room without books is like a body without a soul - Cicero

Stardate: 109841:2281 - Gandolf: If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Stardate: 109846:1709 - Vlad: Why was the witch expelled from witches school? She got an F in spelling....

Stardate: 109846:1974 - Vlad: Why did they put the fence around the cemetery? Because people were dying to get in!

213219:766 - Rasal: If the lead swimmer in a synchronized swim team drowns, what happens to the rest of the swimmers on the team?

Stardate: 109888:9140 - Racingnut: It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up. - Vince Lombardi

Stardate: 109898:5347 - Gandolf: He who laughs last... probably still doesn't get it

MOODS OF THE MONTH

If you're not living life on the edge you're taking up too much space. Racingnut has just arrived.

I bite, therefore I am! A muttering Vlad has just arrived.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "Good morning *"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "[*not a guarantee]"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Hi Goldendragon"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Goldendragon, "wow is that the original Hazed :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gandolf, "yeah.. but she doesn't look a day over eternity"

EVER-CHANGING MOOD OF THE MONTH

Current Akaturi Credits 517 Kup has just arrived.
Current Akaturi Credits 517 Kup has left.
Current Akaturi Credits 518 Kup has just arrived.
Current Akaturi Credits 518 Kup has left.

EXCHANGE EVENTS OF THE MONTH

Stardate: 109776:1407 - Hazed: Mercury: A serious warehouse fire seems likely to cause shortages of livestock. - We're eating steak tonight, folks!

Stardate: 109778:2024 - Vlad: Phobos: A serious warehouse fire seems likely to cause shortages of furs. Well, there goes my dream of opening a toupee shop on Phobos...notch another dream going up in smoke;)

Stardate: 109781:5245 - Fancy: T,C&B intelligence report for Brass: A serious warehouse fire seems likely to cause shortages of explosives. Must have been duds - no explosion.

Stardate: 109785:0487 - Vlad: Selena: Reports are coming in of an explosion in a simulations factory. So was it a real explosion or a simulated one?

Stardate: 109806:8908 - Racingnut: I think they need to take that new process for making firewalls and use it for the serious warehouse fires

Stardate: 109824:5172 - Racingnut: Rhea: Reports are coming in of an explosion in a petrochemicals factory. Gee I wonder what could of caused that?

Stardate: 109824:7299 - Bella: Mercury: A new fad is causing an increase in demand for clinics. Now I wonder what that could be :)

Stardate: 109874:0933 - Fancy: Messrs Trumble, Cruikshank & Bone Intelligence Reports: Brass: A new process for making clinics has been discovered. Hmm, maybe no such thing as a hospital on Brass, but they now have plenty of clinics.

Stardate: 109875:7237 - Racingnut: Castillo: New taxes on probes are expected to depress demand. Microsoft being hit up for money again?

Stardate: 109875:8116 - Buddy: Doris: Reports are coming in of an explosion in a spices factory. Attsa a-spicey meat-a-ball!

HALLOWEEN QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Bella asks, "if a banshee screams in the woods and I am not there to
hear it, does it in fact scream? Is it there at all?"

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN FED TOO LONG WHEN...

...you refer to the government as the Galactic Administration.

...you go to a restaurant and order a glass of fermented llama milk.

...you tell your real-life commodities broker that you want to go short Earth luboils.

...you call up your local pizza parlor and order Capriciosa, with extra moose.

...returning home from abroad you go through customs and wonder where your full tank of fuel is.

...you go to a bar and order Diesel's Old Peculiar.


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, Month or Year, send them to feedback@ibgames.com.


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