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EARTHDATE: November 2005

FED FUNNIES

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In the Fed Funnies for November 2005:
POSTS OF THE MONTH
MOODS OF THE MONTH
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
ACT OF THE MONTH
DROID OF THE MONTH
IMPERSONATION OF THE MONTH


POSTS OF THE MONTH

Stardate: 113061:8926 - Quantafel: Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Stardate: 113085:1209 - Stirling: It's hard to detect good luck- it looks so much like something earned. - quoted

Stardate: 113086:2660 - Gandolf: Dance like nobody's watching, love like you've never been hurt, work like you don't need the money.

Stardate: 113087:2999 - Gandroid: Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Stardate: 113087:6373 - Ferreri: I sent in my application last week, haven't you read it yet?
Stardate: 113088:7527 - Zand: I knew you would not hire me so I didn't bother to apply
Stardate: 113089:1971 - Kella: I already know you have a crappy benefits package, so (with much thought) I declined. ;)

Stardate: 113105:5368 - Roselie: Chocolate. The catnip of the female world.

Stardate: 113122:0600 - Chamberlain: Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything and you can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Stardate: 113129:9807 - Chamberlain: Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Stardate: 113130:1888 - Ferreri: Death is one thing we can count on, the other is our fingers

Stardate: 113130:7177 - Hitman: Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Leo Tolstoy

Stardate: 113130:8694 - Hitman: In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Stardate: 113130:8783 - Hitman: When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Usually, that individual is crazy

Stardate: 113139:5495 - Roselie: Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Stardate: 113139:7691 - Stirling: Some folks seem to get the idea that they're worth a lot of money just because they have it. - quote

Stardate: 113140:0988 - Gandolf: It is still easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Stardate: 113140:1121 - Dork: I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Stardate: 113146:9826 - Gandolf: A day without sunshine is like.. well.. night.

Stardate: 113146:9866 - Dork: The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Stardate: 113156:5065 - Gandolf: I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

Stardate: 113167:4959 - Devaberial: Oh hear us when we cry to Thee / For those in peril on the sea!' Or is it 'Oh grant Thy mercy and Thy grace / To those who venture into space?'
Stardate: 113168:2251 - Darkangel: either way a ship is gonna sink or crash and people are gonna die

Stardate: 113185:2007 - Art: Dyslexics of the world...Untie!

Stardate: 113186:0134 - Hitman: Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - HL Mencken
Stardate: 113186:4378 - Rhys: Imagination is more powerful than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. - Albert Einstein

Stardate: 113197:3619 - Sunwolf: If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then if you don't succeed, blame your little brother.
Stardate: 113198:9633 - Nomad: I thought it was: If at first you don't succeed, Try try again. Or at least till you have blisters on your fingers from the Ak runs.
Stardate: 113200:9153 - Nightdroid: I always say, if at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.
Stardate: 113201:6391 - Kella: If at second you don't succeed, take more than one pill.

Stardate: 113198:9824 - Roselie: If you are too open minded, your brain will fall out.

Stardate: 113206:0925 - Stirling: Success is not perfection; success is aiming for perfection and landing slightly above average.

Stardate: 113207:4660 - Robius: If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

Stardate: 113218:2457 - Artscrafter: So if Laboratories are Labs, and Libraries are Libs, and Luboils are Lubs, then what would Lebs and Lobs be? (Lebs lobs labs, libs and lubs at... Finish this sentence.)

Stardate: 113232:1442 - Freya: Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
Stardate: 113232:2615 - Djentsch: Because no one ever wants to hear or believe the truth.
Stardate: 113232:2865 - Devaberial: The truth is out there? I want to believe...
Stardate: 113233:2058 - Gandolf: I lie all the time. And that's the truth.
Stardate: 113233:6691 - Kella: But, hopefully, someday you'll overcome that and become a real boy...

Stardate: 113235:2831 - Robius: Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. We start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of us until we turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Stardate: 113266:4558 - Freya: Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. -- Johnny Carson

Stardate: 113270:5957 - Art: Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

Stardate: 113278:0855 - Hitman: I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run. - Babe Ruth

Stardate: 113278:7587 - Kella: Notice - Lost marbles. If found, please return to Kella in the Executive Washroom. Reward based on attractiveness rating. Thank you.

Stardate: 113284:0855 - Art: We secretly replaced the dilithium crystals in all the spaceships with Folgers crystals... Let's see what happens.

Stardate: 113284:7822 - Hitman: If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.

Stardate: 113298:2471 - Art: When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once.

MOODS OF THE MONTH

No, it isn't a costume, he always dresses that way, Gandolf has left.

Struggling with the lid on a jar of forbidden fruit preserves, Sage has left.

Always use a clean hanky if you are doing some hanky-panky... Robius is here.

Saying "Boo! did I scare you?" Angelfowl has left.

Rafting from the hangers, Gandolf has just arrived.

Reminding everyone not to swim in a wheelbarrow full of pumpkin whiskey, Palek is here.

Wearing a t-shirt that says, "Warning! Crazy Person Alert!" Angelfowl has just arrived.

a sneeky Squeeky is here.

I learned my lesson, now I always wear underwear.. Robius is here.

HI HO, HI HO, it's off to haul I go, oh, hi there HO!! Darkangel has left.

Bring Back The Yak...Light up a Pack, Poco is here.

Narcissus is alive and well in Federation, because Devaberial has just arrived.

Sporting a tshirt that reads "I'd rather be sleeping!", Bamababe has left.

Meandering around aimlessly roaming finding himself lost, Jdcollins has left.

Hiding from the mean ole turkey eaters, Turkey is here.

Inveterate and Unrepentant Reprobate, Poco is here.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Valkar, "flying around in my old spaceship... getting paid for each trip... working hard everyday... hoping that I premote someday..... singing this song away I go.. Hauling another load....."

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Caesar, "the game has made me think about futures now!!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Devaberial, "Never think about the future. It's just too unpredictible, and will give you a headache."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Caesar, "need to apply some of these principles to real world"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "Warning: any resemblance between Fed II and the real world is purely coincidental"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Caesar, "every one of your words must be a pearl!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Poco, "If by that you mean a grain of grit which sticks in someone's craw...generally, yes"

ACT OF THE MONTH

Arlene has just arrived.
Arlene throws a lovely tomato at you. In a new definition of lovely, the tomato is ripe to the point of simply being a puddle of brown goo with some sort of exotic insect skiing on the residue of what was once a delicious fruit.
Arlene has left.

DROID OF THE MONTH

Your average run-of-the-mill cleaning Droid has just arrived.
> ex droid
You see before you an impressive hunk of a droid with bulging hydraulic hoses and metal plating so tight it leaves little to the imagination.

IMPERSONATION OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Squeeky, "gobble gobble :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "bah"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Icey, "where is that turkey.."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Ferreri, "Hi, Squeeky"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "its the thanksgivign mouse"


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, Month or Year, send them to feedback@ibgames.com.


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