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News Yearbook

EARTHDATE: December 2004

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In the Inside Scoop for December 2004:
FROM THE SOCIETY NEWS DESK: SPRING FASHIONS
THE FEDIVERSE 101: THE SUMATRAN RUINS
WHAT ARE WE?
INNER WORKINGS: NEWSDROID HOLIDAY
FROM THE SOCIETY NEWS DESK: THE CHRISTMAS SEASON
THE FEDIVERSE 101: THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON
HAZED COMES CLEAN ABOUT THIS XMAS YEAR'S PUZZLE


FROM THE SOCIETY NEWS DESK: SPRING FASHIONS

by Lady Lulu 'Buffie' Capturfilingham

Spring is in the Air

Hello again dearies!! Time to clear out my mailbox of letters. This lovely letter came in this week, and as it turns ever so colder here on my part of Earth, our thoughts turn to Spring, and that can only mean one thing, dearies.

Dear Buffie, I am a brand new Industrialist and need a fab new wardrobe to go along with my new status. That got me to thinking... what will be the new fashion trends for the upcoming Spring? Any help would be most appreciated. Signed, Inquisitive Industrialist

Dear Inquisitive, Your foresight is to be commended. Getting a jump on the new Spring Earth fashions shows high societal intellect. Now, trying to predict what the designers are thinking is no small task. But, you have asked the right person in myself. Did you know that there is a step by step approach that has been developed to decipher what the new trends will be for the upcoming spring? It is a foolproof system and I am here to walk you through it.

First, think fabrics. You need fabric to make fashion, dahhling. And my sources tell me that earth color tones are the dominant themes at the fabric shows. The fabric manufacturers had a hard time keeping them on the shelves, so to speak. For those that are not familiar with Earth and live elsewhere in Sol, that means dark green, tans and light browns, not volcanic ash and glass colors.

Then, look at the dominant culture running rampant currently. The dominant culture in the movies and in books is retro, retro, retro. Think 22nd Century retro, dearies. And, that is it, my dear. Not a complicated system, to be sure. But who said the fashion industry is complicated? I mean, compared to a bunch of rocks, I'd have a hard time picking the group with the bigger IQ. (Hazed - please edit that last sentence). Retro fashion in earth tone colors. Now, run with it. Drop me another note and let me know what you have devised.

While many people think that the fashion industry makes something fashionable, that simply isn't true. They have to make a groat, just like you and me. So they play it safe and predict trends, and they are usually dead on. Why? Because the fashion industry just wants to reflect the current popular themes instead of setting trends. We will see how this system works when the fashion shows start.. real soon, I hope!

And, with that, gentle readers, my alloted space has run out for this week. If you have comments or thoughts on your take of the Spring fashions,or just want to drop me a note to say Hi, please send them to me. Ta ta for now, Dahhhhhhlings!

THE FEDIVERSE 101: THE SUMATRAN RUINS

by J.E. Gottmult-Uneaeh

This week I had a lot of time to reflect on the past year, what with classes coming to an end and students returning to their planets of origin. With so many different ethnic, historical, racial and religious backgrounds at the university, it seems more and more like the only thing my students have in common is relief that the term is finally over. This relief is shared by all of the faculty as well, for this particular winter break we have a special opportunity to combine anthropology with something fun and exciting for us and our families.

As you may know, there has been an ongoing excavation and analysis of certain ruins on Sumatra that were discovered during the construction of a theme park. The University of Mars has already had researchers in place at the Sumatra digsite for some time now, but word of dissension in the ranks and unprofessional behavior between rival scientists has prompted the university to send the entire department there, in hopes that a combination of various middle-of-the-road colleagues will help quell the storms brewing within the research camp there.

In addition, the theme park company itself has completed portions of rides and some rides entirely. We hope that if we can speed the excavation work ahead, that we might wind up with some free passes or an opportunity to test the rides as well.

But, of course, the ruins themselves deserve our full and complete attention, first and foremost. These delightful rides that hearken back to the carefree days of our childhood when we whimsically spent our summers at the local carnival must not distract from the important scientific breakthroughs that are sure to happen with in-depth analysis of the Sumatra ruins. After all, to a social scientist, what kind of distraction to historical adventure are such things as super-twisting air-gliding ultra-sonic roller coasters and the spinning, whirling, stomach-twisting with butterflies excitement of the classic Tilt-A-Whirl...

Excuse me, I need to pack.

WHAT ARE WE?

There have always been a lot of words to describe the players who play Fed. No, that that sort of word! Fedizens, being the citizens or denizens of Fed DataSpace, was always one I particularly liked.

And the discussion continues, as we saw on the comms recently:

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "I dreamed of a new word for us."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "We are Feddicts"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Killer, "Fedders and Feddicts. Nice :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gandolf, "I resemble those remarks ..."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Racingnut, "pretty close to fedex dontya think?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gandolf, "for ex-fed players?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Racingnut, "yep"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "If you play at all, you're a Fedder, if you play a lot you're a Feddict, if you quit at groundhog you're a Feddex"

SPYNET REPORT: GroundHog Cversion has left Federation DataSpace.

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "agh"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Stirling, "Another feddex"

INNER WORKINGS: NEWSDROID HOLIDAY

by RTG1728

As it is this newsdroid's thankless task to diligently report the happenings at the Fed II Star offices, it falls within hir job description to inform this newsletter's readers that skip the Official Proclamations section and turn directly to this column that the Star will not be published on December 26 nor January 2.

The Holidays are traditionally the time when the Editor shows her yearly compassion, and gives the Star's employees a much needed rest. This is so that they may work harder when they return to being chained to their desks.

With the holidays approaching with the imminent possibility of vacation, things have been unusually stable here at the Offices. Apparently no one wishes to lose his, her, or hir rare chance for escape. Well, there was an incident with a the hat-stand droid and the coffee maker.

To make a long story short – which is something new that your humble narrator is trying – the two ran off together, and the good reporters at the Fed II Star were left without a place to hang their hats, and without the coffee by which they are fueled.

Perhaps this is really the reason why things were so quiet here. However, as our reporters are unsuited to a coffee-free lifestyle, much to the chagrin of Administration anti-coffee types, this problem was quickly resolved by swift replacement of the coffee maker with a new, more loyal model.

The hat-stand problem is still unresolved. Donations are welcome.

Be sure to read Inner Workings when it returns next year. As this reporter has now finally sprung the lock anchoring hi to hir desk, hi is making hir escape before a Person of Quality notices hir absence.

FROM THE SOCIETY NEWS DESK: THE CHRISTMAS SEASON

By Lady Lulu 'Buffie' Capturfilingham

Christmas Time!

Hello again dearies! It's that time of year again here on Earth. It's the holiday season, and as I type this article, the office is starting to shut down for an extended Christmas Holiday. Preparations for the company party are just about complete and the party should be starting very shortly. Someone has taped tinsel to all the newsdroids (probably Hazed... she can be so cruel, even to her most loyal workers, the unloved newsdroids). From here, I can see the bar being set up, and the bottles of liquor and lubricating oil are being unpacked now... boy, Hazed knows how to splurge.

The Society world has been slow the last few weeks, what with everyone getting ready for Christmas and such. But, our ladies Auxiliary did have time to have our annual Christmas Dinner at the home of Mrs Voidwalker. Many thanks for hosting, dearie! The dinner consisted of a holiday ham, with scalloped potatoes.

Do not let the holiday season pass you by. I hope you are all out enjoying the season, in spite of the crowds. Take the time to send Christmas cards, bake some cookies and see some old friends. If you have the resources and time, host an open house for the neighborhood. Now, I know not all of you have the resources or time, or even WANT your neighbors in your house for more than five minutes, but give it a try. You might be pleasantly surprised, or unpleasantly disgusted and spend the next week cleaning your house... but it's the effort that counts. And, remember to smile - it is the holiday season.

For more holiday activities, may I suggest that you go down to the main shopping district, and see the lights displays and store window displays. This was always one of my families favorite pasttimes. Yes, of course it was cold, and sometimes snowy, but my father would always make hot chocolate afterwards, which was a nice treat and well worth braving the cold and wind. Also, while in the shopping district, remember that your favorite columnist wears a size 6 and does not look good in white.

And, with that, gentle readers, my alloted space has run out for this week. Ta ta for now, Dahhhhhhlings!

THE FEDIVERSE 101: THE SPIRIT OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON

by Dr. J. E. Gottemult-Uneaeh

Welcome, fedizens, to this week's installment of The Fediverse 101, the one and only source for cultural insight in the galaxy.

This is the time of year when, as one of my own personal heroes stated, people of all races come together to celebrate the birth of Santa.* It's true, that often the spirit of this holiday season is lost amid the bustle and shuffle of our daily lives, combined with the rush and pressure of preparations for said joyous holidays. But, imagine for a moment, if you were stationed on the galactic rim, far from Earth, with the interstellar link non-functioning. Or perhaps you are an Antarean, for whom the concept of traditional Earth religions is a novelty. In both these cases, December is not necessarily a celebratory month.

With the new year donning soon, it is also time to make some resolutions in the grand Earth tradition. In the interest of fostering amnesty between our diverse galactic worlds, consider making one of your resolutions an academic one. Resolve to learn more about the world that you live in and be more accepting and understanding of our cultural differences. This resolve may prove most useful as even within our own human culture we find growing movements in different directions that the mainstream – like the Cult of Gaelaan. The worker in the next cubicle may just turn out to be a Gaelaanite and rather than ignoring or mistrusting them, perhaps consider a thoughtful and meaningful discussion with them, expressing an interest to know more about why Gaelaan is right for them. Or perhaps, with the Antareans, what their homeworld would be like at this time of year. You may end up learning something fascinating or meaningful that you might otherwise have missed. I know it was a casual conversation with a co-worker in my early teens that lead me down the path I now tread. In my experience it is often the unexpected learning experience that teaches us the most.

Well I hope you've enjoyed my ethnographic eye on the galaxy. Join me after the holidays for another edition of The Fediverse 101 and do try to enjoy yourself in the meantime.


*Bart Simpson

HAZED COMES CLEAN ABOUT THIS XMAS YEAR'S PUZZLE

Hazed has stated that she is working on a Christmas puzzle for this year - but is she? Is she really? This conversation might hint otherwise...

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "I am working on the xmas puzzle"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "yah!!!! a puzzle..."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Yes, a puzzle. If I get the damn thing finished in time."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "Well, it will be even more of a puzzle if it isn't finished"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Hey, that's true! I can just jeer at everyone and claim they are not clever enough to solve it"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "They will never know that in reality, there IS no puzzle!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "Right, simply have a locked door at some point which cannot be unlocked. People will run around for hours trying to figure it out."

We will have to wait and see whether the demi-goddess does come up with a puzzle!


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