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EARTHDATE: December 20, 2009

Official News page 9


REAL LIFE NEWS: TROLLEY RAGE WITH A SALAMI

by Hazed

A pair of shoppers in Germany found themselves in hospital after a row over a supermarket trolley ended up in a knock-down fight involving various foodstuffs.

It all started in an Aachen supermarket, when a 74-year-old man and a 35-year-old woman got into an argument over possession of the shopping cart. When the pensioner wrested the cart from the hands of his rival, her 24-year-old brother joined in the fun and decked the old guy with one punch.

The victorious pair trundled off to do their shopping, thinking that was the end of the matter, but the steaming septuagenarian gave chase and began to beat the brother with a salami, as the woman tried to fend him off with a 4lb wedge of parmesan cheese! (Is this a dagger I see before me? No, it's cheese!)

During the rumpus, she ended up shoved against a glass countertop and suffered head injuries. Police had to break up the ruck, and two of the participants were taken to hospital.

A police spokesman explained that "a sudden rush of shoppers" had provoked an acute shortage of trolleys and "raised tensions".

The good news is that the disputed shopping trolley was unharmed.

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