Inside Scoop page 1

EX-GA EMPLOYEES... WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR?

by Jezz

Just the other day I was searching Earth's Level Seven for some needy souls. I was out of test subjects for the bio-labs on Penance and I can usually find a dozen or so "volunteers" who will agree to pretty much anything in return for a hot meal, a few groats and a 30 minute holo of the Ainokea exchange pit. It was outside the Lucky Seven that I came across a disheveled man, in a crumpled business suit, looking for work of any kind.

You know how it is when you're sure you recognize someone but just can't place where you've seen them before. Well that's how I felt. So I paid attention when he signed his name to the Penance volunteer liability waiver with elegant penmanship and added his thumb print. But for the life of me I couldn't think where I might have run into a Petey Connelly before.

"What is your previous work experience?" I asked. It wasn't something I needed to know from volunteers usually, but the familiarity of his face had me puzzled.

Connelly shrugged dejectedly and answered, "Permit clerk at the GA."

Permit clerk... permit clerk... aha! Then it hit me.

"You worked for Boss Tweed. Warehouses, Depots, Storage and Factory permits, right?" I said, now sure that this was indeed the man that had handed the prepared permit to "The Boss" for signing last time I had visited the GA Offices. "How on Inferno did you lose that job? I thought GA posts were a guaranteed gravy train even if you're completely incompetent..." or maybe especially if you're completely incompetent?

Connelly shrugged dejectedly as he replied, "With the downturn in the permits market there just weren't enough slithy toves coming in for the Boss to skim and still keep the regular employees working. I got downsized right out of there. They've threatened it before, you know. Some of us were given a choice. We could be fired, or pay our salary plus twenty percent to the Boss for the privilege of working there, and hope that we could make enough in kickbacks and gifts to cover the expenses and keep us fed. Well for me that wouldn't work because I've got Boss Tweed standing in the office, making sure if anyone gets a bribe it's him."

I was completely horrified! No, no... not about the fact that corruption was rampant in the Galactic Administration. Everyone knows that. I was horrified that two of the cornerstones of the Federation ethos, Corruption and Bribery, were failing to ensure the financial future of those whom we have always trusted to cheat us blind.

Back in the days of Ming's Imperial Reign, administrators were unfairly forced to be honest as, according to the Encyclopedia Galactica, Ming considered the accepting of bribes to be the Emperor's privilege only. With the fall of Ming and the rise of the Galactic Administration, bribery became available to all in a position to say yea or nay to permits and the like. Corruption is accepted as part of free enterprise in our Federation lives.

Even more terrifying is the thought of what might happen if the permit-bribery system completely falls apart. What happens if we cease to hand over our arms and legs to gain that extra little advantage and feel the rush of one-upmanship over our fellow Fedizens? Could Tweed take over the whole administration and force a non-profit-based taxation system? A link-use tax perhaps... or even worse... an existence tax! Don't we owe it to the little guys in the GA who only ask for a pittance in bribes but who keep the big fish from taxing our right to life in Federation space, to keep them in the manner to which they wish to become accustomed?

Well... I thought about it for while, then I patted Connelly's shoulder sympathetically and sent him off to the spaceport to be loaded into the cargo ship with the rest of the volunteers. I did however put a note into his file for the controller on Penance regarding Connelly's assignment once he got there.

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