The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: September 21, 2008

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TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY AT A FIRST ALIEN ENCOUNTER

by Jezz

This week the Top Ten came about from an innocent enough comment about the possibility of a smile being such a grave insult at the first meeting with an alien race that they decided to blast Earth to smithereens. So without further ado here are...

The Top 10 things we probably shouldn't say at a first meeting with an alien race:
10. Ewwww, don't you have icky slimy tentacles!
9. Hello. We are humans... the other white meat.
8. Please, make yourself at home.
7. Check out all our shiny, pretty things.
6. Now look, you guys have been coming here with your alien probes for centuries - and now you want to open up official relations?
5. Our turn to probe YOU!
4. Gosh darn, aren't you the cutest ickly furry alien bunny-wabbit I've ever seen!
3. I'll introduce you to the president... he's the one with the tin-foil hat on.
2. Is that a phaser in your pocket, or are you just happy to be here?
And the number one thing we probably shouldn't say is...
1. Take me to your LARDER?


Thank you to Nimat, Jordis and Hazed for their ideas. I would like to add that some of the things Hazed said shouldn't be said to aliens, couldn't be said here either. I did try to persuade Hazed that permission should be given, but in the end it was decided for health and safety reasons that they would not be published. Besides... we didn't want to give the aliens who read the Fed2 Star any ideas.


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