The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: September 14, 2008

Fed Funnies page 1


TOP TEN REASONS KALANDRA GETS PUNTED

by Jezz

This week's impromptu Top 10 sprang into being quite unexpectedly after Kalandra asked the question... "What the heck? Why do I keep getting punted?" Certain listeners were inspired and here is a small selection of the answers.

The Top 10 Reasons Kalandra gets punted are:
10. Her offspring has telekinetic powers and is hungry.
9. It's 4th and 10 and she's out of field goal range.
8. Hurricane Hazed has struck the east coast.
7. The Force is not with her.
6. Dj attached his remote control to a car battery and it's sending out weird signals.
5. Squeeky is gnawing on the wiring.
4. Hazed keeps sending her mail, and her computer is so overcome with awe at the honor, it drops the line.
3. The Large Hadron Collider in CERN is sending its streams of protons off course, and they are affecting her connection.
2. That little red button there REALLY does turn off the machine.
And the number one reason that Kalandra gets punted is...
1. Her remaining alts are plotting against her because they found out she liquidated the others!


Many thanks to Kalandra, Arthurfrayne, Hazed, Arthurfrayne, Zardoz, Catspaws and of course Arthurfrayne for their ideas.

I couldn't fit all the great answers into the top 10 this week so here are a few of the others that sounded almost plausible!
Her magnetic personality is messing with her computer system. Zardoz is spending her spam too. Her RLAS had a flair up. An old unpaid bill from GEnie has arisen, they want her back.

Fed2 Star index Previous issues Fed 2 home page