Official News page 3

RIGELLIANS GO CRAZY

by Hazed

For two days, the people of Rigel 4 went absolutely berserk, triggering off widespread rioting all over the planet, with SpyNet reporting riots every couple of hours. This level of protest was completely unprecedented, since usually even the most angry of populations only riots once a day. So just what had made the Rigellians so steaming mad that they went on a non-stop orgy of rebellion?

We sent a team of newsdroids to the planet to talk to the rioters and find out the cause of their unrest, and there seemed to be a whole mish-mash of reasons for the discontent, including the most trivial of complaints. However, two grievances came up over and over again. The first relates to the behavior of the planet's owner, Pugwash. It's not anything that she does that incenses her people: quite the opposite, in fact. People hate the fact that she doesn't seem to do anything. She hardly ever sets foot on the planet, and pays no attention to the needs of its economy or its people. While this might be preferably to some of the despots ruling worlds around the galaxy, or indeed to the late Emperor Ming who terrorized everyone, the Rigellians just don't like the fact that they are being ignored by their absentee landlady.

But there is also a resentment of the way Pugwash came to rule the star system in the first place. Because it wasn't always hers. Once upon a time, it belonged to a very famous green-skinned lady: the Goddess Bella, she who created and universe (legend has it she sneezed it out into her handkerchief during a particularly virulent cold). For many years, she was the owner of Rigel, and although the fact is she took even less interest in its running that its current owner does, her reign is remembered as something of a golden age (or perhaps a green age) by the current population. Even if she did nothing, they grumble, at least she was occupied by really important things, like running the universe. Pugwash, though, ignores them out of laziness and occupies her time doing not very much at all.

I'm sure if they had Bella back, they'd find plenty to complain about in her management style, because the grass is always greener, but meanwhile, for a few days, the hatred that Pugwash inspires in her people reached a peak and the intense riots broke out.

Finally, after property had been razed to the ground and the treasury had been looted, things have returned to a state of calm. The tired citizens have returned to their homes (assuming they haven't been burnt by rampaging rioters) and resumed their normal lives.

As for Pugwash? Well, we tried to get a comment from her, but as usual, she was nowhere to be found!

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