TOP TEN THINGS PEOPLE DO WITH THE FED2 STAR
by Jezz
This week, in the true spirit of recycling and lessening our carbon Fed footprint, at least I hope that's the spirit we're talking about... here are the Top 10 Things People Do With The Star (hopefully after they've read it).
| 10. |
Stuff the cracks in your ship with it. |
| 9. |
Roll it up to thwack the other half in the back of the head with it. |
| 8. |
Use it to make papier mache statues, or effigies perhaps? |
| 7. |
Make an escape getaway paper plane for the mouse. |
| 6. |
Torment cats by propping it up and shining a laser pointer through it. Apparently this drives them nuts, which explains a lot. |
| 5. |
Keep the latest copy in the bathroom, so you can study it for every nuance. (What happens to it next is unclear.) |
| 4. |
Shred it and make cat litter. |
| 3. |
Use it as wallpaper so you can read it all, all the time. |
| 2. |
(Submitted on condition of anonymity) Don't tell Hazed, but I cut out the picture of her I found in an issue a while back and, after beautifying it with a marker, we use it in the Hair of the Dog as a dart board. |
| And the number one
thing to do with the Fed2 Star is... |
| 1. |
Keep it as a reminder to never read another newspaper again! |
Many thanks to Caesar, Nexilar, Zardoz, Odin, Transbabe, Erakose, Kalandra and Catspaws for all their ideas.
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