The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: July 22, 2007

Inside Scoop - page 1


DESPERATELY SEEKING KBLACKDRAGON

by Zardoz

After my last report, I became concerned for the health, safety and welfare of our friend Kblackdragon. This concern was driven only by a profound sense of duty to the Fed2 Star readers to find the Truth, and present it in a fair and balanced manner. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Kiros owned stock in one of my companies and I wanted the shares back, or that I had an entry in the pool. That is coincidental to my dedication to the Truth. Honest.

After making some inquiries with the vast intelligence apparatus on Zandzabar, I learned that Kb and his bride were honeymooning in the Aloha State. What luck! Kb would be on my home turf. I was in a perfect position to make contact with Kb, and confirm his safety (and offer the use of my home computer... so he could sell me some shares... on Sunday, July 15, 2007).

I began my search of the Islands by calling every hotel and asking for Mr. and Mrs. Kblackdragon. Foreseeing the need to provide justification for my request, I had ingeniously crafted a foolproof excuse. I explained to the front desk that it was urgent that I speak with him because he had left the water running in his home on Voyager in the Starfleet System. Apparently, the phones were not working very well that day because I kept getting disconnected.

I decided then that this was probably a job for professionals. So I visited the offices of the Bounty Hunter, Duane "Dog" Chapman, to see if he could use his vaunted skills to track down Kb. (At first I sent my dyslexic brother Zodraz to find Dog, but he instead went to a monastery and hasn't been seen since.) The Dog listened to me describe the situation, the urgency, the serious amount of groats involved along with slithies, and the desperate need for his skills. I offered to provide him with a sizeable sum of groats and slithies as a bounty. Dog must have been dismayed at the amount of the bounty because he was at a loss for words. I must have made big impression on the Dog, because after I showed him a picture of Kb, the Dog graciously showed me how his Mace worked, and demonstrated a choke hold as he helped me out the door.

When I could see again, I concluded that the Dog was trying to tell me that if you want something done right, you must do it yourself. (He said a lot of things to me actually, but they aren't appropriate for the Fed2 Star.) I wrote KBLACKDRAGON in very large letters on a placard, and proceeded to walk up and down Kalakaua Avenue in Waikiki shouting at the top of my lungs, "Kblackdragon, Zardoz is looking for you!!" Sensing that my quarry was close, I began running up to tourist couples and said, "I'm Zardoz, are you the Mogul of Voyager?"

When I got out of the Police lock-up the next morning, I sat at my desk staring dejectedly at my computer. I had failed to make contact with my quarry. Then, to my surprise, I watched as Mogul Kblackdragon entered Federation Space. Kb had returned! He had survived an entire honeymoon away from Fed! Of course he had logged back into Fed the moment he arrived home from the airport without even unpacking from his trip, but his fortitude was impressive nonetheless.

Winner of the pool is Butters who successfully predicted that Love would triumph over Fed (or that Mrs. Kblackdragon would triumph over Kb). But the real winner is Kblackdragon. Congratulations to him and condolences to Mrs. Kblackdragon. May they have a long Fedded Wedded life together.


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