Official News - page 1

RIGELLIAN RIOTS FAIL TO MATERIALIZE

by Dot Matrix

Following Hazed's fit of bad temper, I thought it best to absent myself from the Fed2 Star offices and the threat of being blown to bits like the unfortunate Chip. I needed to find myself a story I could cover in a location well away from the somewhat incendiary demi-goddess. Looking through the "story ideas" bin in the newsroom, the best I could find would have sent me off to Earth's wilderness (courtesy of Wilderness Wonder-tours), reduced to writing a story about the cutesy-poo animals who recently had even cuter babies. Not my style at all.

Then I heard about the unrest building up on Rigel 4, which was expecting to lead to planet-wide rioting, and decided that was far enough from the center the demi-goddess' wrath. I donned my flak jacket, jumped into my ship, and heading for the Rigel system, recorder in hand.

Upon arrival on the planet, I noted the discontent expressed by the citizenry and sat back to wait for the trouble to kick off. And waited. And waited.

And waited.

And the riots didn't happen! The grumbling carried on. The expressions of extreme dissatisfaction were everywhere. The local press was full of stories about all the problems on the planet. Here's an example of the sentiments being expressed:

Stardate: 117169:8022 - Workthingie: This is a call to arms from all my work brothers and work sisters who slave away for peanuts on planets. Revolt and riot! Show your displeasure wioth your conditions. Bring down da man!!!! (or woman).

Everyone, it seemed, was primed to riot. But they didn't.

It was mystifying.

Now, there's nothing a newsdroid likes more than a good mystery, so instead of sitting back waiting to report on the riots when they finally happened, I decided to investigate the reason why they hadn't.

It turned out to be something quite simple. You see, the owner of the Rigel system - Pugwash - may be terribly unpopular right now, but she's not considered to be the most important citizen of the planet. No, she's viewed as something of a Janey-come-lately, having been handed control by the previous owner.

It's that previous owner who still holds the people's affection - and no wonder when you learn who that was: Bella, the Rigellian goddess, popularly considered the creator of the universe.

And right now, it's common knowledge on Rigel 4 that Bella is suffering from a nasty bout of Rigellian verdigris fever and is feeling quite under the weather. Concern for her health has somewhat replaced the grumbling about poor conditions on the planet, and so tempers have cooled and the threat of riots has receded slightly.

But as soon as Bella is feeling better I am sure that the Rigellians will return to the important matter of stirring up unrest, and the riots will commence!

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