The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: January 28, 2007

Fed Funnies - page 1

TOP TEN ALIENS IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM

by Hazed

1. Phil the Arcturian. This popular pianist has been playing at Chez Diesel for so long he's almost part of the furniture - but don't try to interfere with his playing.
2. The singer in the Spinning Wheel Bar on Magellan. We don't know what it is or where it comes from, but who cares when it can sing in four-part harmony all on its own.
3. The Weeble. One of the most garrulous aliens in Sol, you can have a long chat with the weeble if you care to spend some time with it in the park on Titan.
4. Godot's ingredients. To you they may be disgusting, but to connoisseurs the alien seafood served up by Godot are the best aliens, ever!
5. Grizzles. It's mostly safe to venture into the caves on Mercury these days, because the grizzles have learnt to be wary of humans - but you can get up close to the colorful shrunken versions in Earth's mini-zoo. They are so cute!
6. Xiphosurans. Arachnophobes would never class these alien spiders as their favorite anything, but they do cultivate the most gorgeous spaceblooms on Silk.
7. The Magrathean Spider. Speaking of spiders, this one won't hurt you, but it will drop onto you from a great height without any warning. Not the nicest of the creatures that Slarti cooked up in his workshops!
8. The receptionist in Armstrong Cuthbert's Venus office. It's a sentient plant, but despite it's vegetative state it handles packages being dropped off and collected with aplomb. We can think of plenty of human receptionists who don't show as much intelligence...
9. Martians. They must be the most well-known aliens in Sol those nobody has seen one for years. Even if you weren't alive when they last tried to invade, and incidentally caused the constant catastrophe that crashed the interstellar link system for several centuries, you probably know someone who was - and perhaps you travelled through time to Horsell to thwart their plans!
10. Bella. Well of course we have to give her the number 1 slot. The Green Goddess from Rigel is the creator of the universe so is everybody's favorite alien - at least, they wouldn't dare say anything else!

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