Fed II Star - April 30, 2006

EASTER MADE EASY, THE LYNNEA AND ASTERIX WAY!

It started off as a rough day, being Sunday and all, but despite how we were feeling on the inside, Lynnea and I toughed it out and did our best to provide a wonderful party on the roof of Chez Diesel.

LYNNEA: Asterix and I arrived at the party in pretty glum spirits. Neither of us wanted to be there, and were quite glad to see that no one else was there, with the exception of a very passed out Nolepaul in the corner. We wandered around the roof of CDs grumbling, and eventually decided to put on "cheerful" Easter costumes.

> ex Lynnea
You see a petite woman with long, silky black hair wearing a black bunny suit. The bunny appears to be one of the undead, and are those fangs in Lynnea's mouth? The bunny tail is forked.

> ex asterix
Asterix wears a black bunny suit. The tips of his ears and tail are a sickening shade of green which makes him look like death warmed up.

Yeah, feeling very chipper we were. Anyway, as we moped around, happy there were no guests, Jinto had to ruin everything by showing up. He was far happier then we would have liked, too, which was odd considering his predicament.

> Trying to pull a Chinese finger trap off his finger, Jinto has just arrived.

Zand arrived right after Jinto did and was also far too cheerful for our taste. That fouled Asterix's mood even further, and he began to threaten the passed out Nolepaul with sharpies, and art contests.

> Asterix ponders for a minute, "Should we get a few Sharpies and start an art contest on our good friend Nolepaul?"

ASTERIX: It's the cardinal rule, you can't be passed out at a party. You do that, and you wake up with a unibrow, Groucho Marx glasses and a handle-bar moustache.

LYNNEA: Anyway, things got better after that when Rowan showed up looking far more glum and sad than we felt.

> A haunted look in her eyes, Rowan has just arrived.

> ex rowan
She is dressed in a long gauzy black dress, her pale white shoulders bare. A golden chain holds the crest of Maji around her neck. She smiles at you sadly.

All this gloominess cheered us up some, and even prompted my dear friend Asty to pay me the rare compliment.

> Asterix is looking at you.
Your comm unit signals a tight beam message from Asterix, "You look good"

ASTERIX: Something about the fangs in your mouth and the undead bunny suit really did it for me. I can't quite put my finger on it.

LYNNEA: O...kay...

ASTERIX: What's the problem? So I'm turned on by the whole undead thing... What?

LYNNEA: ANYWAY! People started pouring in at this point. Geran, who had apparently been celebrating before he arrived, announced loudly that he had gotten lost on his way there. I mean, how can you get lost going to CDs? He had to have been drunk.

ASTERIX: Social Center of the Solar System indeed... I want to know where Geran was doing his pre-gaming. At this point, we started giving out some Easter eggs, and some people were eating them. I'll tell ya, Lyn, those eggs were good... until you've had to eat 40! (Thanks a lot, Speedy!) And eating 40 of them wouldn't have been so bad, if I could at least have had a little fun at this party.

LYNNEA: What do you mean, you didn't have a good time?

ASTERIX: No, I had to take notes!

LYNNEA: Oh, you mean like I do at EVERY party? About this time, Racingnut decided to use his nano-chameleon technology to program himself some new clothing. Well, there was apparently some type of malfunction, because he began to use a few racy words and Rowan apparently got an eyeful.

> Rowan raises an eyebrow at Racingnut.
Rowan winks, "you ran outta room."
Asterix chuckles, "Happens to the best of us, RN."

Obviously, I can't show you the results of his mishap, being a family publication, but let's just say it left little to the imagination. Funster didn't bother with any annoying wardrobe malfunctions at the party though. He decided to take a short cut, and just came dressed in his nightwear from the start.

> ex funster
Funster is wearing a pair of jammies with a flap in the back, and some fluffy slippers.

ASTERIX: Luckily, for Funster, his flap was closed. If he came into this party and mooned my intrepid partner, I'd have to do some remodeling in his factories!

> Funster asks, "is the flap closed Lyn?"
Lynnea asks, "What flap?"
Lynnea exclaims, "Oh, yes it is!"
Funster sighs a relief

LYNNEA: At this point it became clear that Geran was not the only one that would show up three sheets to the wind. Zmikeyz came breezing in the back of a... Huh?

> Riding in the back of his 30' limo... Zmikeyz has just arrived.

What on earth is this Asterix? I leave it up to you to take the notes for once and you put in here that someone came Upstairs from CDs in a limo? I hope Hazed does make you pay her... you deserve it.

ASTERIX: I... uh... er... If it's in my notes, it has to be true?

LYNNEA: Anyway, Zmikeyz was obviously so drunk, he didn't even know what day it was.

> Zmikeyz asks, "So what's the party about?"
Asterix says, "Welcome to the Fed II Easter party, Zmikeyz"

It almost sounded like you were being sarcastic there, Asty. Care to comment?

ASTERIX: If he couldn't tell by everyone waiting to ambush the poor Easterbunny that it was the Easter party, then he deserved a bit of sarcasm. Anyway, it was totally uncalled for him to drive up the stairs. That must've caused a lot of damage. I'd provide something for our readers here about the extent of the damage, but I seem to have misplaced that notepad.

LYNNEA: And what WAS the problem with you and your notepads? Excuse me - MY notepads.

>Asterix asks, "It's definitely been too long since we hosted a party, right Lyn?
Lynnea asks, "Yes, and you are taking notes... right?"
Asterix sits at a table, leaning back with one leg up and sips his beer
Asterix asks, "Notes?"
Lynnea exclaims, "I just gave you a pad Asty!"
Asterix asks, "Pad?"
Lynnea says, "Hazed said if you don't take notes you will owe her two weeks pay."
Asterix sighs and gets up
Asterix asks, "Has anyone seen my notepad?"
Racingnut says, "Maybe the dog ate it Asterix"
Asterix turns to Lynnea, "The dog ate my notepad, I don't think I can take notes."
Lynnea sighs and gives Asty ANOTHER notepad.

ASTERIX: Lyn, I didn't even know there WAS a dog there, how is it possibly my fault if he went ahead and ate my notepad? It's totally not fair for you to blame me.

LYNNEA: So, moving on. Once all the threats to the safety of the Easterbunny began to die down, the party once again took a more playful ambience. Zadymka pulled some black licorice jelly bean from somewhere and began tossing them at Asterix as he took notes. Funster began to dance, which brought out the party animal in everyone.

> Funster moving his slippers in rapid motion, begins to do the Southern River Dance.
Lynnea exclaims, "Go funster!"
Zadymka exclaims, "oh yeah!!! Now the party is starting!"
Zmikeyz exclaims, "Go Funster! Go Funster!"
Zmikeyz liked Funster's moves so much, he gave everyone a large some of groats to throw at Funster.
Zmikeyz has given you 1,000,000,000.00 ig

That is a mountain of money Asterix, Are you sure you got that figure right?

ASTERIX: Of course it is! It's in my notes, isn't it? I just can't seem to find the rest of the money that I didn't give away.

LYNNEA: Someone needs to teach you how to take notes, Asty.

ASTERIX: Hmph... At this point, I was starting to get the hang of taking notes, but then the Easterbunny showed up, bouncing off of everything! He knocked tables over, knocked drinks out of people's hands and worst of all... People wanted to take pictures with him. And they made ME hold the camera! Imagine! Me! A galaxy-wide renowned journalist! Reduced to holding a camera while the Easterbunny poses for photo opportunities!

LYNNEA: Zmikeyz was especially happy to see the Easterbunny and got right in line to sit on the bunnies lap for pictures. This was quite the odd sight to see considering that Zmikeyz is nearly 8 feet tall. Even though the Easterbunny was 6 feet tall, he was still no match for the Viking, which became even clearer when Zmikeyz over-enthusiastically jumped on Mr. Bunny, looking for candy. Despite the fact that Zmikeyz nearly killed the Easterbunny, his extreme happiness was evident, as he began to dance.

> Zmikeyz walks out on the dance floor... see people looking...
Zmikeyz starts moving slowly to the music getting into the beat
Rowan claps for Zmikeyz
Zmikeyz exclaims, "whoo hooo!"
Zadymka exclaims, "woo hoo!"
Rowan exclaims, "go Z go!"
Zmikeyz jiving to the fiving
Zadymka says, "go big boy.. big boy...big boy"
Necrose shakes his head and laughs.
Lynnea claps her hands
Zmikeyz big boy is moving now! does a moon walk
Zadymka jumps up and down and claps her hands like a little kid
Racingnut pulls out his 10M saxophone finds the right key and starts adding his mix to the dance beat

LYNNEA: Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the dancing, but then Zmikeyz seemed to forget that his enormous size didn't fit quite right into all spaces and he began to wreck stuff.

> Zmikeyz does some jiving and moving along to the music...head bobbing hitting the low lights.
Zmikeyz jumps on a low table and dances to the music until the table breaks.

This brought the dance to a close, not to mention, set back the date that Asterix and I will ever see a paycheck for our work at the Star.

ASTERIX: At one point, Lyn, we'll throw a party that doesn't destroy the bar that it's in. One day... Hopefully... Until then, Hazed can keep shelling out money to keep Diesel and the others quiet.

LYNNEA: It was now time to begin the contest for the evening, which was name that tune. Asterix thought that since he actually had to take notes at the party, that this would exempt him from helping with this event.

> Asterix looks up while writing in his notebook, "So you're going to handle Name that Tune all by yourself, right, Lyn?"

I don't understand it Asty. What is so hard about taking notes anyway?

ASTERIX: It's hard! I honestly don't know how you do it at all. I mean. How was I supposed to take notes, show song lyrics, figure out if people are guessing right... I mean it's all just ridiculous!

LYNNEA: Anyway with the slithy up for grabs for the winner of the contest, everyone got serious fast, and the contest began. Asty and I went back and forth playing a few lines of music from a song, and then everyone tried to name that tune.

The big winners of the night were Robius and Necrose, each of them guessing 10 songs, which earned Necrose the slithy.

ASTERIX: Well, we couldn't give it to Robius, right? I mean... He's a crazy Roman, and he's being investigated for the murder of a law enforcement official!

Anyway, despite the fact that we didn't think we would, we ended up having a great time at this year's Easter party. That just goes to show you, no matter how bad a day you're having, some chocolate and some alcohol will always brighten you up!

LYNNEA: And remember folks, an undead bunny suit can earn you a compliment from the least expected places!