FEDERATION 2 - PLAYER REVIEWS

DR. FOGG'S MARITAL ARTS EMPORIUM ON VENUS

Reviewed by Zardoz

As luck would have it, the other day my wife asked me, "What is our Anniversary date?" After I finished choking on my breakfast, I told her that "I could not recall the date off hand, but was certain that it was written in my calendar." She replied, "How can you not know the date?" The sharpness of her reply was the only clue I needed. So instead of providing the answer I originally intended (Well, I don't know how many houses or planets I have either), I replied, "I was just teasing Love, of course it's today. That's why it is on the calendar, I have such big plans."

My wife danced out of the room excited about our plans and began to spend the next 8 hours getting dressed. I picked up my comm unit and cancelled that evening's poker game, and called out that I was going for a walk. As soon as the door slid shut behind me, I ran to my shuttle, and then took my ship at warp speed to Sol. Praying that Galactic Customs would somehow be inattentive today, I blazed a path to Venus to shop for the present that I'm sure my wife was also expecting today. I ran like mad across the slideway, tripping over an advert, and pausing only at the monitoring station at the power planet (mmmmm…. donuts), I quickly arrived at my destination, Dr. Fogg's Marital Arts Emporium.

This shop has everything and I was sure, that with the purchase of a few gifts, my wife would be happy, and I would be redeemed. I casually mentioned to the clerk that I was interested in the "Reserve Selection" and was led to a back room which displayed a myriad of devices engineered to provide marital bliss to the user, if they survived. I reviewed a few items, and rejected some due to their unsuitability for our species, some due to their unsuitability for our tastes, and some due to their outrageous power demands (how many fusion reactors did they think I had?).

I settle on a few choices, whipped out my MeisterCard, and paid for them. I rushed back to my ship (mmmmm… donut). As I passed through the link, I looked through my bag, and thought:

King Kong Ding Dong, 4,000ig.
Breast Mounted Joystick, 4,500ig.
Happy wife, Priceless.

I gloated to myself, and then noticed my ship's log peering from the seat cushion. How could I forget that date? I decided to check the log to confirm my error. My jaw dropped as I saw that our anniversary was in fact next week.


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