Web Fed News Yearbooks - April 2001

THE MONTH IN BRIEF

Alan gave a lecture about Open Source Software development, at the Association of C and C++ User's Spring Conference. You can read an article based on his lecture at http://www.ibgames.net/alan/technical/opensource.html.

The first ever space tourist blasted off: Dennis Tito bought himself a round trip to the Interstellar Space Station, for the knock-down price of twenty million bucks.

ABUSE OF TRIAL ACCOUNTS

Fed has always had its "bad boys" (and bad girls, too). Players who get a kick out of being antagonistic, arguing and insulting other players, killing them, DDing them. But in the past week we've seen two separate examples of something a lot worse.

What we've seen is people who hide behind alts to be unpleasant.

First, a player was DDed by an anonymous Captain. Then, a GroundHog posted unpleasant messages about one of the game's popular duchy groups.

Both these incidents show people abusing our free trial account system. The free two hours put on all new accounts is so that new players can take a look at the game, and see whether they like it enough to subscribe.

Of course, sometimes old players take advantage of this to set up disposable alts, for a variety of reasons. I have no objection to someone who comes up with an entertaining idea for role-playing, sets up a disposable character, and uses it for a few hours to have some fun. But when a free account is used to misbehave, to break the rules, to annoy other players, to act in an anti-social way, by someone who doesn't want to own up to who they really are, that's abusing the system.

Clearly, the people who do abuse the system in this way do it because they think they can get away with it. They think they are anonymous and therefore safe from retribution from other players, and action from ibgames.

Well, they are wrong. We can find out who uses these free trial alts, and we will take action against the real player behind the alt. Be warned.

FED IS MORE THAN 3D

From time to time we get people asking us if they can write a 3D version of Federation. Nothing has ever come of this - when people realise just how much work there is in writing a complex multi-player game, with or without graphics, they tend to lose interest.

But following the most recent person to come onto Channel 9 and boast about how he was going to make the ultimate graphic 3D game, based on Fed, Nightdroid pointed out to me that Fed is already more than 3D.

"It's got North-South, East-West, Up-Down and In-Out - so that's 4D right there. What's more, movement within these four dimensions is not constrained to be rational," he told me.

He went on to say that the video card has not yet been made which can represent this accurately. Even if someone did invent one, it would have to be used in another universe anyway, since ours has this irritating constraint on rationality of physical dimesions.

So there!

FROM THE POSTBAG: HOW MANY DIMENSIONS?

Following my article in last week's Fed Chronicle about Fed being a 4D game, I received a contradictory letter from a Fed old-timer:

Just one point... As I remember it, Fed is a 5-dimensional game, because as well as the 4 dimensions you covered in last week's news, time travel is involved!

Linebacker

Quite right, and how silly of me to forget. So that makes Fed two dimensions better than the boring old 3D graphic games out there - Fed is 5D!

FROM THE POSTBAG: NON-MOVING PLANETS

The Federation Chronicle received this detailed question recently:

Perhaps one of the things space-goers take for granted is the fact that locations in Sol space don't move. This raises the question, however, of how they get around the laws of physics. Without any sort of velocity moons would be pulled into planets and planets into the sun, destroying Sol as we know it.

One could argue that all the planets ARE revolving around the sun but are synchronised so that they don't move in relation to each other. This has problems in and of itself:

1. It doesn't explain how the moons do not fall into their respective planets.

2. It doesn't explain why you always use the same compass directions to move around (though the ship's computer could automatically compensate).

3. Perhaps the biggest thing is that orbital velocities are dependant on size and distance. Venus is comparable in size to Earth yet is significantly closer. The laws of physics dictate that it would have to be moving considerably faster to maintain a geosynchronous orbit around the Sun.

It would appear that something fishy is going on in the Sol system. Perhaps all the time warping has twisted the fabric of space to the point that the planets do not move in ways that obey any laws that we know of. The subject, however, still warrants research.

Count Eenigma

Interesting question, I thought! So I contacted a top scientist at the Galactic Administration's Department of Astronomical Physics, Professer Wheez Xurgleblang, and read him Eenigma's letter.

There was a long pause, after which he said, "I'll have to get back to you on that."

He never did, and when I tried to contact him, he wouldn't return my calls. Finally, when I visited the Department, hoping to see Professor Xurgleblang in person, I was told that he was unavailable due to - and I quote - " A sudden and unexpected case of tentacle and orifice disease that is preventing him from carrying out his duties."

So I called a freelance organisation, the Institute of Physical Astronomy, hoping they could help. I read the letter to Dr Pillory Gerfarferwight. "Great Scott," he exclaimed, "Why has nobody ever questioned this before? I'll do some calculations and call you back."

I waited for Dr Gerfarferwight's call, but it never came. A visit to the Institute resulted in my being told that the doctor could not see visitors because he had protracted - and I quote - "A sudden and unexpected case of tentacle and orifice disease that is preventing him from carrying out his duties."

What a coincidence, I thought!

Well, if well-respected and prestigious scientists were unable to help me, perhaps I should talk to people on the fringe of the field. I had heard of the existence of a shadowy terrorist-physicist organisation, so secret they didn't have a name, and using my journalist contacts I tracked down a representative of the group. We met in a dimy-lit, seedy bar on an obscure planet. He said he wanted to remain incognito, but that I could call him Dark Boffin.

I showed him Eenigma's letter. Unlike the well-known scientists, Dark Boffin did not seem surprised by the observation made in the document.

"Of course, we in the unnamed shadowy terrorist-physicist organisation have known for years that there's something fishy about the way the planets don't seem to move," he told me. "And we have discovered the reason why - the secret that the Galactic Administration doesn't want you to find out."

I was fascinated, and wanted to know what the secret was. So Dark Boffin told me. "There's no such thing as space travel," he said. "It's all a giant hoax. A conspiracy by the evil fascists of the government to keep the populace in line."

I couldn't believe my ears, and I begged him to explain just how the hoax works.

So he did. "When you get into a ship, the computer displays pictures of the Earth's orbit, and the so-called Interplanetary Wastes, on your ship's viewscreen, to give the illusion that you are travelling through space. Meanwhile, droids physically move your ship to a giant Hollywood film set which simulates other planets, such as Mars. Have you ever wondered why there's only a few places you can visit on Mars? It's because the scenery only goes so far; they don't have the budget to make the planets any larger."

I asked him how long this fraud had been going on.

"Oh, it goes all he way back to the early days of so-called space flight," he told me. "The US government started it when they decided they couldn't afford to continue with the space program, but didn't want to admit it to the public. They faked the moon landings, and have continued to fool everybody since then."

This was hot stuff, and I knew I was onto something really big here. But I wanted more. I wanted proof. Dark Boffin said he could get it for me. I arranged to meet him back in the bar the next night when he would give me the proof, in exchange for a generous donation to his shadowy terrorist-physicist organisation.

But he never showed up. I waited all night and there was no sign of Dark Boffin. I asked the bar tender if it knew the fringe-scientist, and it said it did, but when I asked where I could find him, the droid simply said he wouldn't be back in the bar because he'd gone down with - and I quote - "A sudden and unexpected case of tentacle and orifice disease that is preventing him from visiting bars."

That's when I began to get scared. Clearly Dark Boffin and his organisation were right about the GA's conspiracy to keep us all in the dark, and clearly the government wanted to silence anybody who investigated the matter. I was convinced that this information had to be made public, so I wrote this article for the front page of the Federation Chronicle, and I hope I can get it into print before they find me.

Eenigma, if you read this, you'd better go into hiding or they'll be after you too.

So, the type is set, the presses are running, and the truth will out. Information wants to be free and the Galactic Administration can't prevent...

Wait, I can hear the heavy tread of boots on the stairs. I don't have much time. Just have to press the "Transmit" button to get this off to the electronic printers, then it will be too late for them to stop me.

I can see a black helicopter hovering outside the window.

They're breaking down the door. Yes, there it goes. They're in the room now. Dressed in black uniforms, with no markings. They're coming towards me. They...

END TRANSMISSION

THE REAL ANSWER
by Bella

Actually, this has nothing to do with physics. In the early days when nobody knew where they were going and people regularly flew into the sun, the announcement that I was about to write the code that moved the planets was greeted with howls of anguish from all 20 of the then players, so I dropped the idea.

FROM THE POSTBAG: EMPEROR

Another day, another question contained in a message left at the Federation Chronicle HQ. What's it going to be this week - something really trivial, no doubt.

Dear Hazed,

OK, Catty left Fed a few months ago, so she's out of the picture. Ming is still a Captain. Soooo... Who's the Emperor/Empress? It's getting really confusing.

-Mac

Ah good, no trivia, an important question to do with current affairs, serious matters that affect the lives of every person in the Galaxy.

Or does it...?

Dear Mac,

You know, many people have been asking that question. And nobody seems to know the answer.

To refresh your memory, you can read the details of how Catty became Empress in the Federation archives, at:

http://www.ibgames.net/archives/fed/webyearbooks/2000/wyb0002a.html#6

Nominally, Catty is still the Empress, never having abdicated, been assassinated, or been officially deposed. Obviously, her absence means that none of the duties of the ruling sovereign are being carried out.

And you know what? It doesn't seem to have made any difference. The planets keep on turning. The Galactic Administration takes care of all the business of governing the Empire, as they always have. I guess Ming set the trend, when during his long reign the only effect he had on the day to day life of the citizenry was a negative one - they feared him and were occasionally tortured and killed by him. No ruling Emperor means there is no murder and no torture, at least not officially sanctioned, nor on the same scale, and I think everyone is relieved at that and couldn't care less that the titular head of the Empire seems to have vanished.

Hazed

MYSTERIOUS AILMENT TRACED TO BACTERIA, POOR MANUFACTURING
by our special correspondent, Qaxlor

The source of widespread 'Connector Rot' amongst droids was traced this week to shoddy manufacture of connectors at several plants in the Omicron Lyra system, which left the metallic components susceptible to bacteria that attack xmetal.

Galactic Public Health spokesman, Dr Gerald Henderson, explained the source of the malady, "Standard droid interface connectors are made of gold-plated xmetal conductors. Several facilities in Omicron Lyra produced poor quality connectors, which had serious defects, exposing the xmetal cores to the environment. These defects may have gone unnoticed, if a freighter carrying droids had not stopped off at intergalactic truck stop #421 on the primordial planet Theta Perseid, where they apparently picked up the corrosive bacteria."

With the cause of the disease known, health officials and electronics labs are rushing to replace the faulty connectors in critical droid populations. Lyrian Labs, the manufacturer of most of the defective connectors, has refused to comment on the situation, but critics are already charging the company with negligence and reckless endangerment. Lyrian Labs was expected to issue a "Recall and Replacement Notice" on all faulty connectors, but has so far failed to take any action to aid in replacing the defective components.

Investigators close to the situation have hinted that high-level administration officials could have financial interests in Lyrian Labs, although so far no links have been turned up. The spread of the disease seems to be under control, however, with sterilization procedures in place for all droids. The apparent success of these procedures has prompted officials to lift the droid quarantine in Sol. Repercussions from this epidemic may take some time to die down, as full replacement of already-destroyed connectors may take a month or more and full replacement of defective connectors may stretch into next year.

BIG NIGHT OUT AT GALACTIC OSCARS
by our showbix correspondent, Qaxlor

This year's Oscars were a refreshing departure from the usual process of rewarding a single big-money holo with the majority of the awards, with a variety of obscure or independent films winning honors.

Oscar night always starts well before the awards, with the VIP arrivals, and this year was no exception. The usual who's-who of galactic entertainment poured into the amphitheatre in Selena City. Notables included Guin'tok Baluur, who is still the handsome leading thing he was 400 years ago in his heyday. Guin'tok arrived in typical fashion, floating in, bathed in a swirl of colorful fog, dazzling jewelry flashing on each of his 12 arms. On his three necks he wore black, red and playful green bowties respectively. He arrived with petite spore pod chanteuse Porde in tow and smiled broadly to every journalist.

Around mid-afternoon the parade of clones began, as Stars on Ice Cryogenics once again thawed out and paraded their Charlton Heston (Cell Line 422), Tom Hanks (Cell Line 331b), Julia Roberts (Cell Line 165) and Samuel L Jackson (Cell Line 214) for a small crowd of mostly unimpressed journalists.

The highlight of the arrivals was Jiriss Kaldox, the eventual winner for Best Natural High-Frequency Oscillation in a Leading Role for the part of Hamlet in the insectoid adaptation of the play. With the usual flair of an eight-foot tall mantis, Jiriss swept in, devouring several nearby journalists, and pausing only briefly for photographers before quickly dashing into the theatre.

The awards show lived up to its reputation as an entertaining as well as entertainment event, when the producers led off the evening itself with the destruction of Alpha Cepheid and its member planets in a huge supernova, broadcast live at the show. The unfortunate placement of a VIP reviewing stand a mere 14 light-minutes from the star resulted in the loss of three Senators and several daytime holo actors and actresses, although that loss failed to cast any shadow over the evening.

Several supporting Oscars went to newcomers or relative unknowns, with the award for Best Supporting Mammal going to the huge, lumbering Grizzelda, who growled briefly in acceptance and swatted the lectern into shards of Lucite. For its portrayal of the best friend in "Floating and Sinking", gaseous entity G1123 won for "Best Supporting Amorphous Substance". The only human to win was Jacques D'Ordenne for Best Supporting Organic for his role of Gary, a hypno-addicted writer, in the historical drama, "Senseless Sensibility". Finally, a major surprise of the evening was the award for Best Supporting Colony Life Form, which went to a completely unknown fungal bloom from the Trifid Nebula for its role in the black comedy "Fungus Among Us".

The evening was marred only by the screeching, embarrassing display by Joohulia Gwizdord, during her acceptance speech for Performance by an Inorganic Life Form in a Leading Role. Forgetting common practice at the awards, she broke into what appeared to be a mating ritual from her home planet, strutting and screeching incoherently across the stage for nearly five minutes, before finally being lured off by handlers offering deep-fried marsrats.

The 'big' awards were split between a few major releases, with "Drifting Marillion, Biting Zlitherworm" taking Best Holo, and Best Director honors for Gi Wiixe. This holo was expected to do better; the unusual cross between martial arts and philosophy was a hit with both fans and critics, but there were too many other great holos this year. Best Actor actually went this year to a droid, Actron, for its role in "Arena", a drama about a general forced into arena combat to save his name and his empire. Rounding out the big awards was Best Holoplay, given to "Almost Dead", a story about a young groundhog, roaming the world without insurance.

This year's awards were the safest in recent memory, with only 6 casualties in the area of the theatre and a total of only 18 if the viewing platform incident is included. This is lower than last year's tally of 25, and far below the highest ever of 236, reached a decade ago when the Saurian production of "Eat Everything" was up for best picture honors.

MUSHROOMS RISE AND DEMAND NOTICE
by our special correspondent, Qaxlor

At a press conference held Wednesday at a secret location, a heretofore unknown group made itself known. Mushrooms Organized for Liberation and Defense, or MOLD, are an underground movement demanding not only rights for mushrooms, but also restitution for the abuse of mushrooms in the past. MOLD claims that as its members are fully functioning higher life forms, they should be granted full rights and privileges accorded to other members of the empire.

On a more sinister note, MOLD demands that in light of atrocities perpetrated against mushrooms in the past, including such torture as sauté and stir-fry, any sentient creature found guilty of consuming mushrooms be turned over to MOLD to be used for food. Since all sentient life forms, except human beings, seem to find mushrooms completely unpalatable, this demand only threatens the human species.

A speaker from MOLD, who was identified only as Sub-Commander Portobello, outlined MOLD's military strategy. "Agents of MOLD are prepared to sprout in the most inconvenient places should the galactic community not respond to our demands," he threatened. "Stink horns will invade your flower gardens, yellow slime molds will seep into your basements, and colonies of little, slimy mushrooms will spring up in your yards, under your eaves and even in your bathrooms!"

Although the exact forces behind the evolutionary miracle of sentient mushrooms remain unclear, most experts are casting an accusatory glance at the Institute for Unethical Science and Teratogenesis, headed by famed 'mad' scientist Dr Eugene Hubris. Although Dr Hubris could not be reached for comment, an official statement released by the Institute read, in part, "The Institute neither admits nor denies responsibility for sentient mushrooms, but we do support these life forms' goals, insofar as they include the eradication of the human race."

The ultimate source of the mushrooms' intelligence may seem trivial, but it is in reality key to whether they win their demands. If some combination of 'natural' factors, including pollution, radiation, or accidental introduction of fungus into experimental genetic programs is to blame, then they will be treated as full-fledged sentient creatures. If, on the other hand, the mushrooms were intentionally modified, by purposeful genetic manipulation, then they will be considered escaped freaks of science and rounded up for return to their place of origin and possible destruction. If a positive origin cannot be determined, then these creatures will be placed on a 5-year waiting period for full status among sentient races. The demand for retribution against those who have consumed mushrooms seems unlikely to gain favor amongst lawmakers, even if it only threatens the ranks of the human race.

With the rate of sentience amongst former foodstuffs increasing at an alarming rate, some experts predict that in 20 years' time, the only thing any species will be able to safely consume will be dirt and rocks, assuming, of course, that the Igneous Liberation Front doesn't succeed in its push to achieve sentient status for all rocks.

MYSTERIOUS MALADY STRIKES DROIDS
by special correspondent, Qaxlor

In a public statement Friday, Dr Gerald Henderson, the director of Galactic Public Health, admitted that a mysterious disease has been working its way through the droid population. Investigators have dubbed the disease 'Connector Rot', since it seems to cause rapid corrosion and disintegration of interface connectors on droids. Dr Henderson stated that officials do not want to cause widespread panic, but felt that the general populace should be informed.

Large numbers of droids have already fallen victim to this disease, and since the cause is unknown, Galactic Public Heath announced a quarantine on all droid traffic in the Sol colonies. Mining and industrial planets, which both rely heavily on automated labor, and export large numbers of droids, are expected to suffer from the quarantine. Researchers contacted for comments said that the disease appeared to be spread by droid-to-droid contact, although it's unclear if it could be air or water borne as well. What is clear is that thousands upon thousands of droids are affected, many simply shutting down as their batteries run out, unable to recharge with wasted interfaces.

Replacement connectors are being sold on the black market at hundreds of times their original price, as a severe shortage of these components sweeps the galaxy. Epidemiologists working around the clock have hinted that they may have located the source of the infection, somewhere around Alpha or Theta Perseid, amongst a group of droids transported through that area.

The Chronicle will bring you more news as it develops.

REPORT RAISES SECURITY CONCERNS
by our special correspondent, Qaxlor

An Imperial report issued Wednesday, entitled "Security Assessment of the Empire", has raised concerns amongst administration officials. According to the report, less than 1% of the planets in the empire have made any security enhancements at all, and of those, the majority (65%) have built only a single security improvement.

General Everett Barnstorm, Minister of Internal Security, was alarmed at these findings. "Across the galaxy, planets are leaving themselves open to all manner of security threat," he said. "A dangerous complacency has swept the Empire, brought about by a historic period of peace." The general continued, "This peace is, however, threatened by internal and external enemies, which are being allowed to grow and fester by lax security policies."

A secret government study, leaked to the media to coincide with the security report, found that Martian infiltration and para-military activity was on the rise, and that pro-Martian cells were arming on virtually every planet. This militarization has been fueled by a historic glut of weaponry, exchanges are overflowing with weapons that once would have gone to improve local security, but are now falling into the hands of militants.

In addition, the level of popular disaffection is dangerously high, with many planets reporting levels unseen since the tumultuous years leading up to the First Cataclysmic War. With planetary treasuries reaping huge incomes, labor unions, social action groups and the general population are beginning to rumble with talk of rebellion and virtually every system is vulnerable.

The Ministry of Internal Security is expected to release security recommendations later this week, which include a request that all planets build at least five security facilities and act to limit the flow of weapons into the market. General Barnstorm warned that, "Failure to prepare for future threats is a recipe for revolt, war and strife. Many systems are blissfully unaware of the sedition amongst their own populace."

REAL LIFE NEWS: INTERNET CAUGHT IN FISHING NET

From time to time I report on Internet failures caused by someone drilling through a vital fibreoptic cable somewhere. Occasionally you read about communications being cut off due to the depredations of squirrels or some other rodents, nibbling through the cables. But this is the first time I have ever heard of comms being disrupted by... a fishing net! Yes, the net falls prey to a net.

It happened in China, off the coast of Shanghai. Fishing equipment has snagged underwater cables three times in the past two months, causing havoc for millions of net surfers. The problem is caused by a type of fishing net developed in South Korea that uses anchors sunk into the seabed. Strong tides can drag the anhors - which are sunk lower into the seabed than Internet cables - for distances of up to 5 miles, severing communication links.

Anchor nets are due to be phased out in 2006, but until then there's little authorities in Shanghai can do to stop fishing boats from cutting off access to the Internet.