LINE NOISE
News from Chez Diesel

9 October, 1989


FED MEET REPORT 

As you all know, there was a Fed Meet last week, and that can only mean one thing. 
Yes, another boring Fed Meet Report, listing who was there and telling you how very 
very drunk we got.

There very nearly wasn't a meet at all! We had been intending to go to Pasta Mania, 
the venue of last year's meet, where we frightened a pregnant woman into premature 
labour, and caused the restaurant to run out of cutlery! But the effect of our visit must 
have been too much because they had closed down.

Fortunately at the last minute I managed to persuade Cafe Pasta in Hammersmith that 
they would be willing to host our jolly outing - and I didn't have to use too much force!

And so, after the usual day's drinking in the bar of the show, we trundled along to the 
unsuspected restaurant.

The meal was presided over by Our Illustrious Leader, Pugwash and Cryptosporidium 
(the most powerful and influential among the Fedders.) They graciously allowed the 
TWF scumbags Zugger and Magius, and Tanith to sit at their end of the table.

Among the other attendees were many non-Fedders, too numerous to mention, 
including the Editor of Compunet, the Editor of Compunet's Wife, the Ex-Editor of 
Compunet, the Administrator of Compunet, the Administrator of Compunet's boyfriend, 
the Ex-Administrator of Compunet, and TJ.

Roxanne and Penny made their first appearance at a Meet, but the star of the evening 
was undoubtedly Aidan, who delighted us by making models out of balloons - his 
'Blackpig on a bad day' was particularly memorable.

As usual, we were being just a little raucous (well, ok then, a BIG raucous!) and we 
attracted the attention of some of the other diners. One of them approached us, and we 
assumed he was going to complain about the noise.

But no. He was having a bet with his friend about who we were. Were we nurses or 
estate agents? he asked. There was really only one answer to this and Merchant 
Tanith supplied it. 'We are space pilots' she replied. End of conversation!

Later the same diner asked for silence in the restaurant, which we dutifully provided 
(even Tracy shut up for a moment) and announced it was his friend Bernard's birthday. 
We had no choice but to serenade Bernard! Aidan even made him a monkey out of a 
balloon as a present.

Poor Bernard was so embarrassed he had to leave immediately, and we carried on with 
our meal.

Later we descended upon a pub, but they had obviously been warned by the 
restaurant, and made us sit outside. Fortunately we were, by this time, too drunk to 
notice how cold it was.

Aidan entertained us all with card tricks, Tracy deafened us with her piercing laugh, 
and we got even drunker - when who should walk past but Bernard and his friends!

The poor chap thought he had got away from us but we insisted that Aidan do a card 
trick for him.

Finally it was time to wend our weary way back to Chez Diesel (East London branch) 
for further revelry and perhaps a little sleep. As usual, the ancient Earth game of Trivial 
Pursuit was played, and as usual, Plodder was completely hopeless at it.

And so another meet came to a close. If you weren't at the meet, just look at what you 
missed - and come to the next one!