LINE NOISE News from Chez Diesel 12 December 1998 Fed has a Public Enemy No 1 once again. Things have been pretty quiet recently (even boring) with the only excitement provided by various would-be Journeypersons blowing up the Martian Ruins. So it's nice that we all have someone to whinge about again. The first inkling of any problem was when Gizmo announced that he had been approached by a well-wisher, who had warned him that THE CARTEL was out to get him, and had been hiring spies and assassins for that purpose. Gizmo wouldn't say who had told him this, but he was very frightened. Star announced that he had received similar warnings. Now, everyone knows THE CARTEL is a myth (well Snoopy says it is, so it must be true!) but concerned Fedders were determined to get to the bottom of this. Although Gizmo is not an Alliance member, Snoopy decided to try and find out who was issuing these threats. Calling on the vast membership of the Alliance, he issued a reward for information leading to the arrest of the culprit. The results? Not a lot! Pegasus and Pugwash were also concerned about the matter; Pugwash because she is such a caring, loving soul and cannot bear to see other people mistreated; and Pegasus because if any threats are being issued, HE wants to be the one to issue them! They set their spies to work, and soon got to the bottom of the matter. The culprit - Siko! It turned out that Siko wanted to do Gizmo in (I've no idea why) and had decided to set him up. He had invented these stories of threats, using the non-existant CARTEL to invoke terror in his victim. To add to Siko's crimes, he recently killed a new player, Belgarion, and put him off playing the game for good. Unfortunately (for Siko) Belgarion was a very good friend of Xaviour, who is now after revenge. Zugger and Hawk also decided that Siko decided to be taught a lesson - so the poor chap has 4 Journeypeople and 1 Trader after him, not to mention anyone else who decides to join the fun. I predict that Siko won't have long to live. There are now five Journeypersons - Pugwash became the first Journeywoman last week, with Omi joining the elite yesterday. Despite his promotion, he will still be known as the Junior Merchant. With 5 JPs, and no-one else near to making it, there will be fun and games when it comes to solving the GM puzzle. This requires 3 JPs to cooperate so that they all get promoted together. But which 3? My guess is that it will be Hawk, Pugwash and Pegasus, if only because they are likely to have the necessary stats before Zugger or Omi. But time will tell! It is with regret that I announce the existance of a new 'news' paper. THE WEEKLY FEDDER runs to four issues now, and seems bent on covering all that is seedy and disreputable in Fed Data Space. It is obviously designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator, and drags the rest of us down with it. The 'Editors' of this filth are Zugger and Magius - so I can only warn you not to engage in idle chit-chat with them, for your words may be taken out of context and plastered across the net for all to see. I would suggest that you go and read this depraved journal, in order to see just how bad it is, but I hesitate to give them any advertisements. If you think your stomach is strong enough, it is uploaded every Sunday - GOTO WEEKLY. But have a sick-bag handy. More uploads - Pegasus is uploading THE TRADING SCHOOL under the hints and tips section. This is designed to help confused traders who can't envisage trading in anything other than Droids. It explains how the exchanges work, how the prices fluctuate, and (hopefully) how to make a big fat profit. And yet more uploads - A new Alliance News yesterday showed that Snoopy is at the end of his tether. Far from everyone's suspicions - that the Alliance membership fees were designed purely to boost Snoopy up the ranks - it transpires that he has paid out far more in loans than he has received back. He claims to be out-of-pocket to the tune of over 20 meg! Just goes to show he is even dafter than we thought. He says that if it weren't for the groats he has dished out to other Alliance members, he would be a Journeyperson by now. One can't help feeling sorry for the poor dear - after all, he has puppies to support now. The great Alliance Plan to kill off Pegasus will be finally be revealed at their meet on 23 December. How can we wait?