LINE NOISE
News from Chez Diesel
22 November 1998 


I've been criticised before for my Fed Meet reports. People have said that they consist 
of nothing more than a list of the people who were there, and the fact that we got very 
drunk.

But I say sod the critics!

The 3rd Official Fed Meet was attended by:

Bella 
Pugwash
Pegasus
Zugger
Omi
Spacehound
Snoopy
Nilsson

And probably lots of others I've forgotten to mention, in which case I'm very sorry (no 
I'm not!)

We all got very drunk.

What more is there to say?

You want more details?

Oh... alright.

(Diesel sighs heavily)

The meet started in the morning when various Fedders congregated in the bar of 
Novotel, the venue for the Commodore Show. The show itself was very boring - but as 
a social event it was a great success.

Everyone was very keen to see the review copy of The Idiot's Guide (portable version), 
eager to spot the libellous references to their personas. All agreed that it was a very 
good publication, well worth a fiver; at which point I stopped hitting them.

I'm not sure whether it was the decision of the organisers of the show, or the hotel 
itself, to provide no tables in the bar, but it certainly didn't make socialising very easy. 
The Fedders decided to invade the hotel bar instead - called 'Le Pub', presumably in an 
effort to make continental visitors feel at home.

'Le Pub' very kindly provided bowls of nibbles on the bar; these were quickly filched by 
the hungry Fedders, and fights ensued over the peanuts - and with the peanuts as well. 
I'm sure the cleaners must have had a fun time removing the bits from under the seat 
cushions.

Despite certain feuds that have developed in Federation Dataspace, particularly 
between Pegasus and Snoopy, and Pegasus and Magius (why is Pegasus always at 
the centre of these things?) the antagonism was not carried over into the Meet itself - 
with the exception of the forementioned peanut fights.

Towards the end of the day a few more Fedders made an appearance; Spacehound, 
also making his debut; and Nilsson, who had travelled from Dublin for the occasion.

Forming an orderly crocodile, we were lead by Uncle TJ to Pizza Hut in Hammersmith.

Pizza Hut was ill-prepared to cope with such an influx of numbers. They managed to 
seat us fairly quickly, although not at adjacent tables, so there was much scurrying 
about from party to party. Pegasus and Magius resumed their food fight, this time with 
sweetcorn, until a stray missile managed to lodge in the ear of someone on the next 
table.

Vast amounts of pizza and garlic bread were consumed, after which we descended 
upon a local pub for further refreshment.

Everyone was very keen to ply Our Illustrious Leader with alcohol, in the hope that 
some information about the Guild Master puzzle would be forthcoming.  Although Bella 
got amazingly drunk, so did everyone else, and they didn't manage to remember any of 
the juicy details anyway.  After much nagging, good ole TJ was persuaded to fly the 
party back to Chez Diesel (penthouse apartment) in his spaceship, where yet more 
alcohol was consumed.

Crafty Omi hid the keys to the balcony so he wouldn't be thrown out in the cold, and 
remained silent under Pegasus' horrendous torture by styling mousse.

Great fun was had playing Trivial Pursuit. Omi proved extremely inept, only answering 
one question correctly. The best question of all was 'What exploded outside the 
Houses of Parliament in 1863, killing a policeman?'  The answer was not 'A Beumb' as 
everyone thought, but 'Britain's first set of traffic lights'!!! There, you learn something 
new every day.

And so to bed, with much fighting over who got the duvet and who had to sleep on the 
floor. Magius was lucky enough to discover one of the stray peanuts from earlier in the 
day lodging in his underpants, which solved the problem of breakfast.

Next morning, Magius' nick-name would have suited all of us equally well as we blearily 
made our way back to the show in Zugger's clapped out car - it wasn't really designed 
to seat six!  And so another successful Fed Meet drew to a close.

The next one will be held at the beginning of February, to celebrate Fed's first birthday, 
so you have 2 months to recover. Watch this space for details!

PS - don't forget that the Idiot's Guide (portable version) is available by mail order for 
only \5.00. 70 pages of facts, fun, pictures and personal remarks, with a year's supply 
of free updates.

Mbx DIESEL or NO1 for details of where to send your dosh.