LINE NOISE News from Chez Diesel 19 September, 1988 Chez Diesel (Earls Court Branch) opened it's doors mid-morning on Saturday amidst the noisy children and equally noisy exhibitors at the PC Show. This was the 2nd official Fed Meet. Having staked out a large section of Bar 3 (snatching up more and more chairs as soon as they became vacant) we were visited by many Fedders during the day. The raucous behaviour almost drowned out the extremely irritating Superman music from the adjacent stand (but not quite.) The unlucky restaurant upon whom we descended following close-down at the Exhibition Centre was Pasta Mania, which had the advantage of allowing patrons to eat as much of the main course as they wanted for a set price. Following the collapse of the planned ICC Meet (nobody wanted to attend because they knew our Fed Meet would be far more interesting!) TJ and Phil of the ICC Committee were graciously allowed to join us, accompanied by some spotty demo- writers of Dutch origin about whom I know absolutely nothing! After the Staff at Pasta Mania had got over the shock of having to provide a table for 35, the battles began over which bottle of red wine belonged to who, and who had eaten more than their fair share of garlic bread. Four portions of pasta later (with some very loud belches) it was pudding time, and once again several helpings were consumed by all, much to the panic of the kitchen staff! When we asked for 'nine more Blowouts' (a very gooey fruit and icecream concoction) they could only provide four at once; then the dishes and spoons had to be reclaimeed and washed-up so the rest could have theirs! Just who it was who decided everything should go on one bill and then be devided up equally I'm not sure, but it was a really lousy idea! The extra puddings had added a great deal to the final amount, as had the 12% service charge, and no-one could quite believe they were expected to pay THAT much, despite several people checking the tab on their portable Crays. Next time everyone can have a SEPARATE bill! After several hour of wrangling (a prime example of Bistromathics) the party split into those lily-livered souls who had to go home, and the hard cases who returned to Chez Diesel (East End branch) to continue the drunken debauchery. Thereafter my recollection of the evening is a little blurred, but I can assure you that no cats were eaten. Omi spent a very peaceful night sleeping on the balcony (and at one point acted as the prototype of a new hurricane detector soon to be patented by Pegasus and Linebacker) and much fun was had playing with the new software everyone had bought at the Show! (I can certainly recommend the planetary destruct sequence in Captain Blood). In case you are wondering just who actually attended this riotous affair, I THINK the following were there (but I can't be sure! Pugwash (as sexy as ever) Pegasus (living up to his reputation) Bella (who actually bought a packet of cigarettes! And what's more, offered them around!!) Linebacker (his wife let him this time) Toranaga (surprisingly he didn't spill any drinks Omi (the Junior Merchant) Zugger (kept at the opposite end of the table from Omi) Matt (the richest Captain) Bullfrog (green and slimy) Pazza (who is smaller than you would guess from his typing) Molly (almost as sexy as Pugwash) Piemur (still whinging about the corrupt Conclave) Ranger (complete with Filofax) Hawk (who departed before the meal - the coward!) Bilbo (who disappeared during the day and was never seen again) If I've forgotten anyone - tough! The next Meet will be held during the Commodore Show in November, and the Northern Meet, being organised by Anthony, will be in early Dedember. Keep reading Line Noise for the details! The Journey Home! One of the things that Diesel didn't mention in the Fed Meet news was the journey from Pasta Mania (Chez Diesel Earls Court 2) to Chez Diesel (East End). This started off with everyone standing outside Pastia Mania, generally block- ing the pavement to everybody else who happened to be walking by. After the group diminished slightly due to the deserters who had to leave for home, we found that we actually had enough cars (and (apparantly) sober drivers) to get us all to the East End. So it was back to the Earls Court car park which involved the fit/brave/stupid in climbing over/under a very large and spikey gate. This obstacle negotioated, it was on to get the cars and go back and pick up those who hadn't braved the gate. The drive back through the centre of London involved for the most part the cars occupants sticking heads/hands out of windows and making obscence gestures/noises at the other cars and general public. This culminated in Metaxa jumping out of the car while in a traffic jam near Harrods (we were going by the scenic route according to Metaxa) dancing and singing in the traffic, much to the ammazment of all the other drivers in the jam, then it was a quick trip to say hello to Pegasus and Piemur (who were driving the following cars) then running back to his own car ready to drive off again! (Now you know what I mean by apparantly sober!) I forgot to mention the number of red lights we (the last and third car in the convoy) went through. You see only Diesel and Pegasus knew the way, leaving Piemur following blindly. It didn't help that Metaxa in the first car didn't really seem to mind going through amber lights, so we had no choice but to follow, ignoring the fact that the lights were well and truly red by now. We then stopped at 7-11 for booze/fags (when Piemur powered our car into second place, much to the annoyance of Pagasus.) During the stop, everyone had a go at Piemur after they found out he hadn't stopped, when three very nice girls in the car behind us had been waving and making beckoning gestures a few miles back down the road. (Linebacker, Met, Hagar and Pegasus were all for turning the cars round and going after them at this point) On the way back, Pegasus pretended to be a Police car by making siren noises out of the window, and putting Omi's multi-colour-light-flashing- cap-thingie on the roof as we went thru Mile End. This was just about the end of the trip, and not much else happended except for the fact that Pegasus (now 3rd) surprised every one by actually STOPPING at some red lights! All in all a pretty entertaining journey, which I will very much probably be repeated at the next Fed meet (where-ever it is!) TJ says... The many people I was lucky to meet, while they were stuffing their faces, were more than kind and took the spirit of fun to its peak by the time some of us had to return home - there are limits to how many Mania Blowouts one can watch other people eating in any one go! So, if you were only thinking about going to the next met, think no more. Fast for a week, only drink mineral water and be prepared for an extra two inches (5cm if you're metric) to be put around your waste (no, Diesel doesn't have think fingers!). I hope to be there - isn't that enough to put you off? Reply... In reply to the above it should be noted that there was two nice girls & 1 man in the car obviously a family. In any case the good of the many outweighed the good of the three or the two or even the one. As for the rest of the way home... who ever decided to drive thorugh Piccadilly circus should be shot! Bloody hell...also next time Peg tell me where Diesel lives so I don't have to run red lights! Finally..i'd just like to say it was a great evening with great people... roll on the next one!