LINE NOISE
News from Chez Diesel
12 September, 1988


Assassinating obnoxious new GroundHogs or Commanders is old hat. The trick these 
days is to polish off someone who is insured by killing them twice in a row before they 
have a chance to renew their policy. There's been one successful and one very close 
assassination of this type, both conducted by someone not previously known for such 
behaviour - Pugwash! Obviously her reincarnated self is meaner than the old one - and 
she must have taken lessons at the Pegasus School of Assassination!

First, the unsuccessful attempt. It isn't often that someone gets as far as Trader without 
knowing the game very well, but when they do, other Traders regard them with scorn. 
Such a one was Maniac, who proudly announced he had never done any objects, who 
hadn't mapped ANYWHERE, only found the Insurance Brokers when he was an 
Adventurer, and was generally regarded as a complete wally.

When he lost half his Dex points by picking up the beaker, he kept on pestering people 
to tell him how to replace them. Omi could not resist the opportunity... and charged him 
50K to direct him into Transuranics!

Maniac decided to ask Pugwash for help next. She told him there was a room in the 
Martian Ruins where he could have his Dex restored, and gave him exact directions to 
find it. Of course, they led down the pit! .

When he woke up in hospital, Pugwash managed to convince him that he'd followed 
her directions wrongly. She offered to pay his insurance money and said she was on 
Earth, could he meet her in the Rehab Offices? The detailed directions she gave this 
time led him into... the Cell!

And there he would have stayed, until he starved to death, if an interfering Commander 
hadn't told him how to get out!

The killing may not have been successful, but it certainly taught him a lesson and I 
understand he and Pugwash are now friends.

The victim of the successful killing was Druid. Never in the history of the game has 
someone been as universally loathed as Druid... he irritated Traders by grabbing the 
coin and trying to sell it to them for vast amounts of cash (luckily he didn't know where 
the LV is!) and he outraged everyone when he killed three new players in a row with 
the Tdx, for no reason at all.

When he got stuck in the maze, no-one was willing to help him get out... in fact, they all 
hoped he would starve. He blundered around and realised he was hopelessly lost (yet 
another person who hadn't mapped!) so decided to suicide to get out.

When he asked if anyone would lend him the groats to reinsure, the temptation was too 
much for the Sexiest Merchant! She considered it would be a public service to wipe out 
this obnoxious character. So... in her typically devious fashion, she said she would give 
him the money in return for some help. Druid should come to Mars and she would direct 
him to where she was waiting, then he could help her open a door and she would give 
him money.

Like a lamb to the slaughter, he followed her directions to his doom and there was 
jubilation and celebration throughout Fed Data Space!