LINE NOISE News from Chez Diesel 10 July, 1998 There was a huge party in here last week when Samantha became the eighth player to make Trader. What made her achievement doubly impressive was that it took her less than a month from first logging on to Fed! The Management of Chez Diesel (Social Centre of the Solar System) offer her a huge CONGRATULATIONS! The rich bastards at the top of the Conclave are starting to look a little worried at the prospect of new players progressing quite so fast - and with good cause! As well as Sam's meteoric rise to Traderhood, Cloudbase has overturned the old order and brought fresh blood into the Conclave. Out goes Bilbo (obviously the loanshark business is not as healthy as B&Z would have us believe) and Cloudy zooms into third place, ahead of Zugger, Pegasus and Pugwash! Now let's see if he can catch Toranaga (currently on a networth of around 14 meg) or even topple Linebacker from his perch (spynet says he's worth a mere 20 meg). I predict there will be a lot more movement at the top once fighting comes in - at the moment there is no risk at all to Trading; but once ships can be destroyed networths are going to be dropping like stones! There's already a Pirate slinking around the System, putting the fear of God into everyone, but at the moment it's just sizing up the prey. It will become lethal in about two weeks. Before it actually starts blowing everyone to smithereens, Jarrow Shipbuilders will start their retrofit service so nervous Traders can arm their ships. In anticipation of this, and taking advantage of their monopoly, the capitalist pigs have put their prices up drastically. That's inflation for you. In case anyone is tempted to take out a loan from B&Z to buy themselves weapons or armour, the Galactic Administration has levied a 5% Capital Transfer Tax on all monetary transactions. In order to offset this charge B&Z have increased their interest rates so borrowing money to advance through the ranks in double-quick time is no longer such an attractive proposition. Another thing which might put paid to the loansharks is that Commanders will be safe from ship fighting but Captains won't... so it is in their interests NOT to repay their bank loan until they can afford to buy a gun or two! Traders who can't be bothered to work and prefer to sit drinking in my place (I mention no names... you know who you are!) have a new toy to play with. For a cool mega-groat they can purchase Spybeam Equipment which allows them to snoop on players of lesser ranks. Is there no privacy? Sad news... Fed has lost its vast list of verbs. Gone are fart, spit, biff, slurp and the like. But all is not lost... replacing them is the ACT command which really allows the imagination to take flight. It is soon going to be renamed OVERACT and Our Illustrious Leader is threatening to levy a stiff fine for excessive use. Poor Linebacker was the victim of high technology recently when he obtained a program which enables you to fly into the Sun or march into Transuranics at the touch of a button! It is called Pegterm+ and it's being written by Pegasus (who else?). As well as allowing you to snuff it with disturbing ease, the programmable F-Keys means you can jobs quicker than anyone else, enter or leave your ship with one key-press, or with no effort at all. If you are interested why not let Pegasus know and maybe he will get round to de-bugging it and upload it (for a small fee...) All those experienced players who are sick and tired of GroundHogs asking them stupid questions can breathe a huge sigh of relief. The answer to all those boring questions is now... 'Go and read the Idiot's Guide!' This massive piece of work, over 90 frames of information about playing Fed, is now uploaded. It contains such vital matters as the importance of being properly dressed, how to make friends, and the directions to Chez Diesel (Social Centre of the Solar System). Everyone should read it, even people who have been playing Fed for years! What are you waiting for? Go on then! NOW! .