LINE NOISE News from Chez Diesel 29 June, 1988 I'm rushed off my feet at the moment. Takings are way up in Chez Diesel, as the Pretzel refugees take shelter in Fed Data Space - it seems that everytime I open the bar there is a crowd of new faces to be served. One of the most important things any new player can do is to get themselves a decent outfit. I am considering enforcing a dresscode in Diesels - no-one will be served unless they've bought themselves some snazzy new clothes. And if the 850 groats needed seems like a fortune to new players, it's peanuts to Adventurers and Traders who can always be tapped for a hand-out. Not quite such a miniscule amount is the 3500 IG it costs to spruce up your spaceships. Not many people seem willing to spend this sort of money, so Metaxa (who is pissed off with all the manky grey sitting around on the landing pads) is throwing a Paint Party - details in FEDDER - you bring a description, he will provide the funds. This should liven space up just a little. Trading has now been in for a few weeks and a lot of people are making LOADSAGROATS - some more than others! There has been a great deal of speculation as to just what Linebacker has been up to - SPYNET indicates he has a net worth of around 13 million! He swears he hasn't been cheating... and far be it from me to doubt the word of a Trader... but everyone is wondering just how he managed to do it. Theories range from the mundane (he has been logged on for 24 hours a day solid) to the peculiar (he has discovered a wormhole just beyond the spacelink which transports him back in time, so is in fact making his money three years ago then investing it, and compound interest does the rest). Personally I favour the hypotheses that he has CLONED himself and is able to log on four times at once. But whatever his secret is, I would love to know - and so, I am sure, would Bella! Once again, there are problems with the jobs. Now all the new Traders turn JOBSOFF, you would think the rest could clean up - but jobs are still being generated for the Traders' Mammoth class ships, which means the more lowly players just sit in their ships gnashing their teeth as job after job comes up which they can't AC. Our Illustrious Leader promises to fix this soon. In the meantime, if Captains get REALLY bored waiting for jobs to come their way, they can always try to get a Trader to employ them. Inter-player commerce really has taken off now, as Traders use junior players as runners to feed them market information. It is certainly an easy way for lower ranks to make groats - although there does seem to be a large discrepancy in what the Traders are prepared to pay for this information. Perhaps a standard rate needs to be set! There's been a lot of concern over the activities of B&Z Loans Inc. Following a very shaky period when it looked like all their clients were going to default on their repayments, they seem to have recovered well, but are upsetting a lot of players by giving loans which frig Captains up to Adventurers. I understand Bella has changed the requirements for Adventurer slightly in order to stamp out this unsavoury practice - as well as the 1 meg networth, a Captain now has to have a Trader Rating of 1000. I can't see what all the fuss is about myself - when you consider that only two players ever made Adventurer WITHOUT some sort of monetary help, it seems a little hypocritical to whinge about it now. Still, there are rumours that if B&Z don't curtail their activities just a little they may well find their atoms scattered over the spaceways when ship fighting comes in! Our Illustrious Leader has long been known to say that 'There are no prizes for stupidity in Fed'. No longer true! Pugwash and Pegasus, bored with making large amounts of money, have introduced the Clog-Dropper's Trophy, a weekly prize for the biggest gaffe made. The details are in FEDDER. This week's prize looks set to go to Anthony, who had his hand bitten off when he tried to pick up the Zlitherworm... poor old Tony, why do these things always happen to him? He's better now - and more careful! Also in FEDDER... the same two Traders are organising a Fed Meet. Mail them if you are interested. Do you remember Metaxa's very nice Earth Map programme? It was a GACed version of the locations on Earth, and gave players the chance to explore and map the planet without actually having to log on. Now rumours are coming my way that a couple of players have gone one better, and produced a full-blown single-user version of Fed. They think this will give people who have never played Fed a chance to try it out without spending any cash - a rather dubious idea, since if they like it they're likely to continue playing it without spending money; and if they DON'T like it, they will never touch Fed with a bargepole! And no single-user game can ever hope to emulate the interaction (which, let's face it, is the main fun in playing Fed) so it will very likely give them a totally wrong idea about it! No-one has actually SEEN a version of the demo yet - not even Bella - but if I ever get my grubby hands on one I'll let you know what I think. I'm very sceptical! The interaction is Fed is getting more sophisticated, as more verbs are introduced. The latest additions are GROAN, SIGH, SMIRK, and BIFF. Like the others, you can add qualifiers to them - for example, Pegasus biggs you on the nose producing a torrent of blood! Linebacker groans in agony and holds a hanky to his gushing proboscis. And so on. Certainly these added commands are leading to a great deal of over-acting - whatever next? (If you have a burning desire to see a new verb then leave a typo for Our Illustrious Leader and it might get considered.) The Conclave had a chance to make its first real decision recently. Poor Captain Questor was exploring Titan and stumbled into Transuranics, resulting in his demise. Wasn't he looking where he was going, he was asked? Well, no, he was in BRIEF mode. How can you explore in BRIEF mode? Well never mind, surely he was insured? Well... erm... no, actually, he wasn't. He had been a Captain for several months and he hadn't bothered to insure himself! And he wanted his persona restored!! After they had stopped laughing hysterically, the Conclave duly delivered their ruling... and it was bye bye Questor. What a bozo! New on Sunday (hopefully!) will be the availability of Spybeam equipment at a cost of a mere 2 mega-groats. And violence will hit Fed in 3-4 weeks when we see the introduction of ship- to-ship fighting - watch out B&Z! .