**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 96.07.21 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! BLISS OFF LIMITS! With the announcement that the hideous Mad Cow Disease has hit the planet Bliss, Chance, Duke of Chaos, has ordered an immediate quarantine in order to halt the spread of this deadly virus to the other planets in his Duchy. From now on, nobody will be permitted to either enter or leave the planet Bliss, and procedures have been begun to disable the link connecting Bliss to Chaos and hence the other planets in the Duchy. When questioned about the harsh measures being implemented, Chance had this to say; 'Hey, it's gotta be done, eh? The lackadaisical attitudes shown with regards to this disease is what's responsible for it being so widespread. Well, this is one Duke who's not gonna sit on his keister twiddling his thumbs, Mad Cow Disease will spread no further into Chaos. The bug stops here.' Other measures being considered are random bloodtests of incoming traders, viral scans of air samples, and a close watch on people who suddenly have an urge to put lemmings into their beverages. NECROMANCER UNION? Hiding in Chez Diesel in my usual disguise of a potted plant, this Newsdroid overheard what might be one of the most odd conversations I've eavesdropped on in quite some time. A diminutive merchant named Shifty was having some drinks and pinching the occasional waitress when Thes strolled into the bar, garbed in the vestments of a High Necromancer. Shifty, noticing Thes' clothing, enquired on how much money a necromancer makes. Thes seemed confused by this question and didn't really provide an answer. Shifty then got a gleam in his eye that seemed to light up the otherwise dimly lit bar and launched into such a convincing appeal to unionize the Necromancers that even I thought carefully about the prospect for us Newsdroids. (Ed. note: Newsdroid Hoff-A is no longer in service). Thes seemed to be growing quite annoyed by this point and even tried a spell on Shifty to shut him up. Shifty smirked as the spell slipped off him and told Thes that it was a gift from the group of Theomaturgists his started a union for over 150 years ago. He also mentioned that they all had condos in Beverly Hills, or at least their descendants did. Thes seemed at a loss on how to deal with this persistent little man, who told him things like 'Stick with me kiddo' and 'I got the savy'. At this point Thes was simply nodding and waving his hand dejectedly. So, be on the lookout for Necromancers Union Local 666 (or NUL 666) coming to a system near you with such promotions as 'Buy One Blood Fertilizing Treatment For Your Lawn And Get A Loved One Raised From The Dead For 1/2 Price', 'Pest Exterminations Within 30 Minutes Or The Next One's Free' and merchandising items like lunch boxes and coffee mugs. Life after Death will never be the same. ANARCHY NOW STRIKES AGAIN In their latest campaign to be just plain annoying, the forces of Anarchy Now, rumored to be linked to Admiral and his now you seem them now you don't Dragoons, looted the museum on Venus, but strangely enough none of the stolen items were found in the Godfather's lucrative black market. Sources speculated whether that small but shady character, Shifty, had snagged the ill gotten booty before it made its way to the moon, when a newsdroid wandering into the loo made an unexpected discovery...all the stolen items, as well as a wall full of graffiti slandering several of Federation's more highly placed citizens...more on Anarchy Now as it becomes available and as soon as this newdroid can get its appendages out of the stall... WHAT'S IN AN AMULET? One night last week, this newsdroid was nursing a drink in the back booth of CD's. Well I was really nursing a hangover and was trying the eye of the dog that chomped on my leg and was still chewing when in walked a crowd... Naida, who seems lo live in Cd's, Instill, and Clovis...and maybe Thes...or they could have been there when I walked in, but I didn't start noticing things until after the 3rd eye of the dog. They were just talking when suddenly Naida's amulet that she always wears around her neck started glowing brightly. Her eyes glazed, and she looked around the room quickly and then left CD's. Clovis looked shocked for a moment and that quickly turned to concern. Thes..well he chatted on as usual and Instill was shrouded in Darkness, also as usual. This newsdroid could bet her bottom groat that he did not miss a trick. Naida returned much more composed with her amulet hidden amongst her ample... er hidden in her dress. Later I tried to get an interview, but she put me off. Well you know me, I'll get that interview and find about the mystery of the glowing amulet. SLOTH PROVES DEADLY The sloth which has overtaken Fed has claimed no less than 3 clones in the last week alone. It started when the new JP Bluebeard offered Adventureuse Naida work without bothering to ask if she wanted any. But Naida proved no less driven by sloth when she tore up the contract, costing Bluebeard the cargo. Bluebeard, angered by this affront chose to place a reward on Naida's head. Again, possessed by sloth, Naida chose to resolve her problem by having Clovis kill her, removing the reward. After Octavian, Nadia's apparent paramour, discovered that not only had Clovis killed Naida but Bluebeard was threatening to kill her as she made her way to the insurance office, he challenged Bluebeard to a duel in space to settle the matter. Curiously, neither Octavian nor Bluebeard appear to have even owned a weapon for their cargo haulers at this point. After the combatants purchased fighting ships and exchanged appropriate insults, a long-running laser battle between the water link and orbit ensued. Captain Octavian was able to prevail over Bluebeard in his smaller and faster ship twice. It's still not clear whether Bluebeard intends to blockade Venus. If he's made a decision, he's keeping it to himself. More than one undercover newsdroid has spotted Bluebeard working hard to improve his intelligence and presumably his battle computer. Perhaps Sloth was the only permanent casualty? This turn of events has caused some highly placed watchers to speculate whether Instill who has been rather quiet will take notice. IN LEAGUE WITH THE GODFATHER? Valiant JP Clovis has been attempting to defeat the infamous interstellar drug cartel. He gathered everything he needed with great care. On his first attempt, one of his companions fell missing but he waited patiently for another. Just when he began a second time, he found one of his weapons was missing. This second disappearance proved just too coincidental and detectives were called in to solve the mystery. Sources report that the suspects currently are Budwarp, Duke of Epini; Talisan, Industrialist of Shelter; Captain Octavian; Adventureuse Naida; and the infamous scourge of the solar system, Monty the pirate. If anyone has any information on this mystery, please contact this office immediately. WAR REARS ITS DEADLY HEAD IN FED Is the Duchy dissolving??? Bluebeard threw a party for the end of Epini Duchy on Atlantis, but the guests of honor failed to show amid rumors flying throughout Fed Dataspace that Budwarp, Duke of Epini, and his consort Diedre, Baroness of Cove, are leaving Fed Space for good, thus dissolving the Epini holdings and Duchy. If this is not enough, Lord Instill of Diamond has declared war on Epini Duchy and is building his fleet for attack. This is odd, because Duke Budwarp and Baroness Dierdre are his parents. But historically speaking, this is not the first time that the child has turned against their parents. More on this as it develops.... TELLURIAN SIGHTING Senator Tellurian was sighted in Fed space. Rumor has it that he was making contact with his undercover agent from the dread Church of Pegasus. Could this be the beginning of the end for the peaceful atmosphere of our beloved Fed? Keep you eyes out for more info from this newsdroid who has her nose to the grindstone for and tidbit of information. LATE BREAKING NEWS...EPINI OVERRUN... This just in from our spies in Epini... Diamond forces, lead by the deadly Instill, have swept through what is left of the Epini duchy as it reels from the sudden declaration of war, and, are at this moment poised to land on Epini itself. A close examination of secret communications have revealed that Deirdre, consort of Budwarp, is herself a sufferer of the dreaded disease that she brought back from the Galatic Council, and the sight of the long absent Senator Tellurian caused her to declare that Tellurian was the true emporer of all Federation. Determined to follow this strange cause to the end, she made preparations to close her planet and abandoned her children, thus provoking the war with Diamond. Budwarp's clone, faithful to the end to its programming to protect Dierdre, is rumored to have spirited her off to an experimental transuniversal ship to save her from Instill's ire and in the last ditch hopes that healers in another universe may be able to save her....More on this tragic turn of events if it becomes available... CURRENT EVENTS Once again, remember to set your watches for 10PM EST on Tuesday, July 23rd so that you don't miss Babzies Way out Flashback Tour of the Sixties. Rumor has it that a through the use of a devious timewarp, special locations will be acessable to the denizens of Fed for the event. COMING ATTRACTIONS A midnight clandestine trip into the Galatic Planner's Office (after slipping the planner one too many flaming Chaosian Lethal Injections) with a pocket vidcam revealed plans in the work for a scavenger hunt, duels to the death in Arena, and the dreaded Karaoke night to be hosted by an unnamed unfortunate victim ;) WANTED...A FEW GOOD POs Planet owners, join the fun by designing a few locations in a 60's theme and if you earn a bit of time in the processes...so much the better. **>> SPYNET REVIEW The Tungsten Tourist Trap Trophy was hotly contested this week. Absolom won 2 trophies, while Atlantis, Cove, Bliss, Fractal, and Sparta each won once. The only d-d to report this week was the demise of Brain for reasons unknown on the planet of Musica. Congratulations go to Gallahad who reached Captain; Octavian who promoted to Adventurer; meanwhile Grog and Striker joined the Trader's Guild. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on Genie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation for the paltry sum of $15.95. On Genie, type ORDER from any main menu page. **>> BULLETIN ENDS