**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 95.03.31 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> WELCOME, NEW HOST! Put your hands together and give a big, warm, Fed welcome to Matrix, a new Host who will be popping into Fed DataSpace for the first time this week. He'll be doing his best to keep you all entertained. Be gentle with him! **>> LABYRINTHINE PLANET The Easter planet, Labyrinth, will be linked into the game later today or tomorrow (Sunday or Monday). It's a dark, brooding place, with little in the way of greenery or light. A planet with a problem, that needs someone to bring back life to the dying world. Can you solve the puzzle? There's a Fed t-shirt on offer to the first person to solve it. **>> HAZED IN MYSTERIOUS DISEASE SCARE Hot on the heels of the Epini flu epidemic, we hear that the demi- Goddess Hazed has started acting rather strangely - frothing at the mouth, staggering from side to side, her eyes wild and staring... What could be causing this odd behaviour? **>> WHITE SLAVERY IN CHAOS??? Earlier this week, in a public statement, Duke Budwarp of Epini accused Duke Chance of Chaos of buying and trafficking in merchants, and very attractive young merchants too. One of our top newsdroid teams was dispatched to Chaos to get Duke Chance's response to Budwarp's accusations. Duke Chance was quick to retort that the citizen involved was a trader who approached the First Chaosian Bank for a loan to further her business. Duke Chance, as president of the bank, just so happened to be the approving officer for the loan. Chance was proud to announce that, due to the First Chaosian Bank's Trader to JP program, the trader in question was now a thriving merchant. He added in his statement, "I don't know why Bud thinks that I'm trafficking in merchants... I can't help it if traders and merchants like Chaos." The Duke went on to whisper conspiratorially, "maybe they're concerned about their brains exploding from the Epinian flu if they land in Epini." **>> BAD DIET CAUSE OF DEITY'S ILLNESS? Galactic Administration food inspectors have been examining the galley in Hazed's ship, where she has been holed up since the start of the flu epidemic, to find out if some kind of food poisoning is the cause of her mystery ailment. **>> THE KABOOM THAT ROCKED EPINI Earlier this week, sources observing Epini reported hearing a loud kaboom broadcast over the comms. Upon further investigation, Epinian sources confirmed the explosion was not caused by the Duchesse- Consort's brain exploding from expansion caused by the Epinian flu, but by the test firing of Budwarp's latest secret weapon. While we are not able to ascertain the exact purpose of the weapon, we did discover that at least one purpose of the foul device is to cause locations to disappear on Chaosian allied worlds. Does this signal the end of Chaos? Apparently not, unless Duke Budwarp's aim improves tremendously - as Dierdre herself remarked, "his aim with the weapon is almost up to his teleporter standards." **>> STOP PRESS! It's confirmed! Hazed IS a mad cow! **>> HUNTING BOUNTIES Bryan wishes it to be known that he is now a Bounty Hunter, and his skills are for hire to anyone who wishes him to be violent and agressive on his behalf. Obviously, his little set-to with the God Dis has given him a taste for homicide! **>> SPYNET NOTICE Bliss has gone back to being champion planet, winning the Tungsten Tourist Trap Trophy 3 times last week. Cove won twice, and Fractal and Musica both took the T4 once. Alas, poor Trader Arachnia. She snuffed it in Sol. RIP! Congratulations to everyone who promoted during the week. The new Captains were Dirtman, Dirt, Jeffrey, Mistikal and Merlin. Kirck, Dirt, Big, Mistikal and Merlin were all promoted to Adventurer. The Traders Guild admitted Shauna, Kirk and Merlin through its portals. Shauna, Anais and Merlin became Merchants. Bryan proved his economic prowess by running his company profitably, and became a JP. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on Genie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation for the paltry sum of $15.95. On Genie, type ORDER from any main menu page. **>> BULLETIN ENDS