**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 95.03.24 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> NEW PRICE PLANS FOR GENIE USERS All Genie users should have received mail a week or so ago announcing some new pricing plans to make the system more economical, depending on the amount of time you spend online each month. If you would like to switch your current Genie account to a new subscription plan, the ability to do so will be provided to you online in the very near future. Until that capability is made available, please send your request to FEEDBACK via email. All requests sent to FFEDBACK will be processed as quickly as possible - usually within three business days. **>> SOLVE THE LABYRINTH PUZZLE! Our Easter planet will be linked into the game during the coming week. Labyrinth is a dying planet, wrecked by technology and pollution. It will die very soon unless someone can reverse the damage. Can you be the one to rescue nature and bring sprint to the desolate world? For those that enjoys puzzles the challenge awaits! It's a complex but enjoyable task. The owner of the planet, BunnyFooFoo, has already been sighted in Fed DataSpace, and you can expect to see more of him in the run-up to Easter. He's got yummy chocolatey eggs to hand out to anyone who gives him a hug! **>> GETTING IN A STEW A note from Bryan tells us that he protected poor little BunnyFooFoo from a hideous death at the hands (or equivalent) of Wildstar, who wanted to put the rabbit in a stew and serve him up to his friends. "I blasted WS with my blaster rifle set on stun and she disappeared" said Bryan of his heroic moment. Wildstar's only comment was "She? Now I'm a she? Sigh... the boy needs glasses!" **>> HAZED IN HIDING It's pretty clear now that the danger to sentient lifeforms from the dreaded Epini Flu epidemic is pretty much over, but still Hazed refuses to step foot outside her ship. She's not opening her airlock for anything, and is living on her ship's stores which surely can't last her much longer. Newsdroids are enjoying the unexpected freedom her absence gives them, so are not making particularly strenuous efforst to coax her out. **>> AND THE DUKE PREDICTS... Duke Chance of Chaos, recently recovered from the Epinian Flu and wearing a patented "I survived the Epinian Flu" T-shirt, selflessly donned the fabled hat of Karnac the Magnificient and provided the following predictions under the watchful eyes of his half-sister, Lady Nocturne of Nightfall. Answer: Nocturne's determinedly winsome smile and a wheelbarrow full of Trista's Tungsten Tourist Trap trophies. Question: Name an irrestible force and an unmoveable object. Answer: Having to listen to video copies of all of Duke Budwarp's State of the Duchy addresses to shrink your brain so that the Epinian Flu won't make your head explode. Question: Describe an instant where the cure is worse than the disease. Answer: Cockroaches, the Imperial Tax Collector, and Stapphyococcus Epinius (the virus responsible for the Epinian Flu). Question: Name three things that would survive a trip into the Transuranics Room. Apparently, Duke Chance saw many other things while wearing the hat of Karnac, but at this point Nocturne became worried and snatched the hat from his head, concerned that the additional mental strain might cause Chance's brain to swell excessively and cause a relapse of the Epinian Flu. **>> NOTABLE QUOTE OF THE WEEK We found the following quote on the message board this week, immediately following Duke Budwarp's statement of commodities rare on Epini: Nightstalker: Epini for Trade, CHEAP! While we wish to commend Duke Nightstalker for this expansion into new areas of Galactic trade (sell not only your own goods and planets but those of your fellow Dukes as well), we are forced to remind him of Imperial Code 3.143.4.2, which prohibits the sale or trade of possibly contaminated material. **>> GET AWAY FROM IT ALL ON MIST When the recent quarantine on Chaos was lifted, a newsdroid team was immediately dispatched to Mist to report on the latest additions to the "ultimate in vacation planets". In addition to its already famous clear blue waters, golden beaches, secluded coves, exotic cocktails and thriving exchange, Sailor has added a wonderfully pastoral group of locations, featuring a trail through sunlit woods and a cozy cabin (ed. note: complete with satin sheets) beside a waterfall and he invites you to visit at your earliest opportunity. **>> DOES DEATH WALK AMONG US? In a startling incident earlier this week, Technocrat Rakshasha became the latest fatality of Instill's twin lasers. In a stunning short battle, Instill made short work of Rakshasa, but fortunately Raks was insured so was able to join the victorious Instill for drinks in Mist's bar where she learned that she had been fighting the incarnation of death, leaving this newsdroid to wonder for whom the bell will toll next. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Fractal is proving a popular planet, winning the Tungsen Tourist Trap Trophy four times in the past week. Mist won twice, and Stonehenge once. This is a turn-around... it was beginning to look as if Bliss would dominate the T4 forever! Alas, poor Merchant Rachael. She went dead-dead by her own hand. RIP! Congratulations to everyone who promoted during the week. The new Captains were Gemphyre, Lory and Kirk. Shauna became an Adventureuse. The Traders Guild admited Anais to its hallowed halls. Mikey was promoted to Merchant. Ceasar showed his economic prowess by reaching Journeyman. Benson advanced his planet, Musica, to Industrial level - so he's now an Industrialist. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on Genie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation for the paltry sum of $15.95. On Genie, type ORDER from any main menu page. **>> BULLETIN ENDS