**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 95.02.25 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> SPRINTNET ACCESS It appears that the problem that was stopping Genie users who access via SprintNet from playing Fed may have been fixed. Although we have had no official confirmation from Genie or Aries, people who were unable to get into the game can now do so, thankfully! If the problems arise again, please let us know as soon as possible so we can knock some heads (or equivalent) together. **>> ADVANCE WARNING OF GENIE MAINTENANCE Portions of Genie will be unavailable between the hours of 11:00 am and 12:30 pm eastern time on Tuesday, Februaray 27 due to system maintenance. We don't know if this will affect Fed or not. **>> TO BE THE BEST Epini has been voted the best duchy in Fed. Apparently. At least, that's what its overlord, Budwarp says, but then he would, wouldn't he? According to his press release, a vote was taken amongst Fedders and Epini came out top duchy, garnering ALL the votes cast (apart from one spoiled ballot paper where someone voted for Mickey Mouse, who as far as we know does not actually have a duchy). However, our spies tell us that the vote was rigged: Budwarp took care to call the ballot at a time when only members of his duchy were online! Would the results be the same in a fair contest? Well, whoever said things in Fed were fair... **>> ALTERATIONS AND MODIFICATIONS Several POs have been knocking down walls, painting the woodwork, damming rivers and boring holes through mountains to remodel their planets. Benson's Musica has an all-new puzzle for the intrepid to attempt, with a prize of 10 meg going to the first who solves it. He has also provided a quite charming Breakfast Nook where Fedders meet up to take refreshment before being about their day's toil. DrSpock's Conception has also had some changes, the most notable of which is his new swimming hole which is certainly an invigorating experience that we urge everyone to enjoy. If any other POs have made additions or changes to your planets, let us know and we'll come and take a look. **>> DIS, DAT, AND THE OTHER Bryan, the lamb of Stonehenge in bloody sacrifices, demanded an audience with Menua. This was rather a bold demand to make on such a well-known and self-righteous druid of Dis! But Menua heeded the calling when Bryan proclaimed that he had a message from Dis to Menua. Once the druid was present, Bryan fell into the abyss of possession. No, he did not try to possess Menua! But said Dis had descended on his body. With eyes rolled back in his sockets, Bryan spurted forth the tides of ill-omens. Newsdroids found the whole ordeal rather confusing when Bryan/Dis stated that Dis was out to take over Stonehenge. This also perplexed the druid, and he simply stated, "But Stonehenge is Dis' anyway!" Not only did Bryan/Dis declare that Stonehenge was the deity's, but he went on to insist that Dis should be destroyed! Why would a god call for his own destruction? The ordeal was carried out with such a melodramatic flare of blue sparks flying from Bryan's fingertips and shadowing gloom. Menua, not heeding a word, left in his usual tirade of demanding sacrifices to appease Dis. Now all are left wondering what doom will befall the planet - if any - and what horse it will ride in on. Beware all ye who should find themselves on that sacrificial planet! **>> BOUND TO TIE THE KNOT! Last week brought the wonderful joining of Lorelei and Starstruck, although the people attending this blessed ceremony were in doubts if it would ever get under way! Budwarp, the performing official, was struck by an odd affliction that delayed the couple's wedding. This same affliction seems to have hindered the newsdroids reporting. Is this a new virus ready to rampage through the galaxy? The events were not cancelled, despite the long delay in waiting for Budwarp to get a grip on himself. The crowd was finally settled and in walked Trista, Lorelei's Maid-of-Honor. Following Trista were Wildstar conducting his daughter down the aisle. A quiet hung on the air as everyone held their breath before the tension was released in a bout of applause. Nothing was going to stop this wedding! Lorelei was as radiant as the once bright novas that ripped through the galaxy when a planet became a duchy! Her smile held the light of a thousand small white dwarf-stars. And waiting for her at the end of the aisle was Starstruck. His name tells all, for he did indeed look like one who was struck by a star by Lorelei's radiant light. When Budwarp finish placing those in the wedding party, the ceremony commenced. He reached into a silk lined teak chest and removes three gold candlesticks, three candles - one white, one red , one gold - and a chalice. Budwarp's voice carried clearly to the assemble, 'Friends, we are gathered here this evening to witness and celebrate the lawful and binding union of this woman, Lorelei, and this man, Starstruck. I Budwarp, Duke of Epini and High Bishop of Fed do sanctify this chapel this altar and implore the blessings of St. Pegasus and the ancient gods. Lorelei and Starstruck you come before these witnesses this day to pledge your lives to one another - this pledge is not to be taken lightly. Do you do this of your own Free Will?" The crowd held its breath and Budwarp looked expectantly at the couple. Both of them, without further hesitation, said, "I do." 'Lorelei and Starstruck join hands and prepare your beings to become one', continued the duke officiated the wedding. 'The white candle signifies fidelity. Do you pledge your unwavering faith, loyalty and trust to each other without reservation?' When they agreed, he continued. 'The red candle signifies passion. Do you vow to freely share all life's passions, the good and the bad, with one another?' Again the happy couple agreed. 'This last candle, the golden candle, symbolizes love. Do you pledge yourselves to forever love and cherish one another, forsaking all others till the stars cease to shine?' It was quite clear that this statement would bind the wedding beyond all versions of federation. The couple again agreed. The wedding was splendid in its beauty, and woe be to those who missed such a binding as this. The celebrations commenced promptly after the wedding and even after the couple left to share their joys in privacy. Good luck to Starstruck and Lorelei! **>> TWO WEDDINGS AND FUNERAL Starstruck and Lorelei were not the only couple to tie the knot this week, but sadly the other wedding ended in tragedy. Love's young dreams were the very deranged Rani and the infatuated Jake, who have been courting for what seems like centuries. Finally, their lust... erm, love... brought them to the altar for a charming if unorthodox ceremony conducted by Dierdre. Rani promised to take Jake for everything he had - and did she ever! Once joined in unholy matrimony, the couple were unable to contain their desire and fell to copulating right on the altar in front of a cheering congregation. Sadly, such was the vigour of their conjugation that Jake threw up and passed out, and Rani expired! Yes, the little helion went d-d, the victim of an unquenchable passion, leaving Jake exhausted and satisfied, but widowed. Tragic. Quite tragic! **>> SPYNET REVIEW The winners of the Tungsten Tourist Trap Trophy this week were Epini, Canyon, Cove, and Bliss (twice). Congratulations, everyone! Alas, poor Rani... gone to meet her maker after her wedding (see earlier story). How tragic! Alas too Merchant Beauty, who died on the deadly Tisnar. RIP. Congratulations to everyone who was promoted this week. The new Captains were Clive, Meade, Biz, Jimmy and Shadow. Ceaser and Biz made it to Adventurer. The Traders Guild admitted Realm to its ranks. Byterunner was promoted to Merchant. Shandi solved the fiendish GM puzzle. Well done! **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation for the paltry sum of $15.95. On GEnie, type ORDER from any main menu page. **>> BULLETIN ENDS