**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 95.02.19 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS, PROBLEMS Yesterday (Saturday) in the early hours of the morning, the computer that Fed runs on developed a hardware fault. This meant that although the game continued to run, nobody could link to it from the various host systems. As soon as the problem was identified, the techdroids moved all the Fed software onto another computer and made the game available again. But the configuration of the new machine caused a few lingering problems. In particular, some of you may not have been able to read your sendmail, or have sendmail sent to you; and the command (which turns off the SpyNet Notice of people logging in and out of Fed) caused the facility to turn off permanently, instead of reactivating when you next log in. Another problem, to do with something terribly exotic called zombie processes (hang on, this is supposed to be a space game not a fantasy game!) meant that yesterday evening the game once again wouldn't allow players to log on for a while. Today, most of these problems seem to be fixed, but to make sure everything is set up correctly, the techdroids are going to do some work on the computer tomorrow (Monday) morning. This means that the game will be unavailable for part of the morning. We do apologise to all our players for the inconvenience this hardware fault has caused. **>> PLANETS, CHECKERS AND THE WORKBENCH This is a reminder that shortly, the workbench will be changed to prevent you from making any amendments to your planet while it is in the game. In order to change the data, you will have to take the planet offline, wait until it vanishes after the next house-keeping run, make your alterations, then un-offline it so it comes back next day. In addition, you should be aware that the checker is -*not*- infallible. You should not rely on it to pick up all your mistakes. It is programmed to identify certain problems that are known to cause problems with the game, such as a movement that links a space location to a ground location, or an event that moves you to a non-existent location. Although you need to use it whenever you make changes, to see if there is something that will make the game reject your planet, you also need to check your data carefully yourself. And your spelling, of course! **>> THE DEMON DRINK The workbench lists one of the flags for objects as "Edible/drinkable". In all the time people have been able to put planets into the game, it seems no-one has put a drink as an object in. Now, someone has, and it turns out that their drink can't be drunk. You can eat it, but you can't drink it. Investigation turns up the fact that there is actually no code in the game to cope with things being drunk, except for the Whoooooooooooosh! which has some special code all of its own. To provide the code for drinkable objects would be a major piece of work, which Bella isn't able to undertake now, so instead all reference to drinkable objects are being removed from the workbench. Rumours that Bella has been influenced by Diesel and other bar owners, who do not like the idea of any drinks being consumed that haven't been bought from licensed premises, are wholly unfounded. **>> MINOR CHANGES GroundHogs are often bemused when they step into Fed DataSpace by the sheer volume of information that scrolls onto their screen. In order to prevent complete information overload, for their first time in Fed they will not be shown the SpyNet Notice display of people entering and leaving. The Fed game menu no longer has an option for the Terms and Conditions. Instead, these can be read from the Chez Diesel switchboard by typing READ POLICY. Incidentally, when moving through the switchboard, JOIN can be abbreviated to J and QUIT to Q. **>> SIN AND DEBAUCHERY Everyone's favorite celebration of excesses is coming to Federation! Celebrate Mardi Gras in grand tradition this coming Friday through Tuesday, as we attempt to be even MORE drunken, even MORE debauched, even MORE hedonistic than we usually are! The festivities start on Friday night, as we move the party from planet to planet, our revelry leaving no planet untouched. Costume contests will be held on each planet, and a parade will highlight every evening. Special Mardi Gras trinkets for will be available for anyone willing to SEND or email their address to Gazoo (gazoo@cris.com) and shout out 'Throw me something Mister!' Other prizes, including groats and perhaps a surprise or two, will be flowing like wine throughout the celebration. And, of course, don't miss the special Mardi Gras planet, where every location is a bar (with descriptions to match), non-stop partying, but with a seedy underbelly. Puzzles, object/mobile matches - of various difficulty - will be over the entire planet, and a large groat prize to the first solver of the major puzzle. Monday night we will crown the King (or Queen (or Equivalent)) of Baccus, the one who has sunk to the lowest depths in celebrating this pagan festival. He (or she (or it)) will lead the festivities on Fat Tuesday, designating his (or hers (or its)) favorite party spots as the Social Center of the (Mardi Gras) Universe. Join the fun this Mardi Gras. **>> CORRECTION Last week's news contained a misprint. We stated that Emperor Ming had been granted Immortality. This should, of course, have read Immorality. **>> PLANET-WRITING CONTEST The duchy of Eire is organising a planet-writing contest in which you could win big groats! Here's the information we received: WIN GROATS -- CAPTAINS TO JOURNEYPERSONS!! 50 Meg -- First Prize 25 Meg -- Second Prize 15 Meg -- Third Prize 10 Meg -- Fourth Prize 2 Meg -- ALL ENTRANTS Attention all aspiring Walrus-of-Merit Planet writers! Eire announces sponsorship of a location writing contest open to Captains through JourneyPerson... complete with prizes! Write a minimum of 6 (maximum 8) locations for your "mini" planet to enter. 2 Meg paid upon receipt of entry. Then, we will enter your mini, for all to see, enjoy and vote. The mini with the most votes takes the 50 MEG. Locations must be 430 characters or less, have a "short" room name, and movement indicated. You may write any sort of location you wish... what would your corporate suite look like, your house, link space? The scenery or setting of the planet you're going to build? Its exchange? LP? No pub in all of FEDspace suit you? Build your own! A planet too mundane? Then tell a story, illustrate a song, dream a dream. If you can imagine it, you can build it. Naturally, exchanges, LPs, and space locations will not actually function as such as planets can only actually have one of each (Bella is already displeased with one of our members over this point :) Mobiles/objects available on a first come, first serve basis... only 1 object and 1 mobile per entrant, please. E-MAIL your entry today! Deadline for location entries is February 24th. Voting begins February 28th through March 9th. Winners to be announced in March 12th FedNews. Ranks above JourneyPerson are welcome to participate, but are not eligible for cash prizes. Send Entries to: ERISTIC@GENIE.GEIS.COM (Delphi and Cris folk) ERISTIC (GEnie folk) If you're not sure what's involved in writing some locations for a planet, the good people from Eire will be only too pleased to tell you on Friday evening in CDs at 10.00pm eastern. **>> EMPEROR INTERVIEWS: PART II Here's the next interview conducted by Fed's holo-star. There are two more interviews to come, which will run in the next issues of the news. This week's interviews of Emperial Wannabees by famous holo personality Bahba Wawa picks up in a quiet corner of CD's, 'this very hole of a bar' (as one bystander commented.) First on the menu is Senator Marcia, a fairly late addition to the ranks of candidates. We pick up the action as Bahba's film crew is setting up the lights... [[Over comms, Kain queries, "I am probably going to get scolded for this... but are there any ladies running for Emperor?" and Tuesday looks bashful as she asks Bahba for an autograph]] Your comm unit crackles with a message from Marcia, 'Empereuse, please!' Marcia has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect. Marcia: Hello Bahba, how are you today? [[Bahba smiles pleasantly at Tuesday and signs a napkin for her]] Bahba: I am well, thank you Senatah. And yowahself? Marcia: Very good, thank you. A bit distracted, I'm helping a NewBod. [[Marcia takes a seat where Bahba indicates, smiling]] Bahba: How genawous of you. Marcia: Well, I can't turn down a call for help. Ciaran discovered that. Bahba: Okay then... Senatah... What does being Empawusse mean to you? Marcia: I see it as a chance to help everyone... to do more than just help one person at a time. [[Bahba nods thoughtfully]] [[Spacesinger considers writing 'The Ballad of Senator Marcia]] Bahba: What would be yowah contwibution to Fed should you win? Marcia: Well, alot of it would be dependent upon the tools that Bella will give to the Emperor/Empereuse. Bahba: Speaking of those 'tools'... we undahstand theyah will be new commands associated with this new level. Do you have in mind any suggestions that you'd like to see implemented? [[Tuesday sits watching the interview, hoping that a camera will just happen to scan by her]] Marcia: Well, I'd hope that the exchanges of Sol would be under the control of the Empereuse, as well as the Link. That would be a very helpful thing. Bahba: How about commands? Any new ideas for commands you'd like to suggest to Bella? Marcia: Hmmm, that's something that I hadn't really considered. Mostly I was just thinking of what would be the best use of the commands that I'd heard were being considered. Like rescuing people from near-fates with the 'Summon' commands. Bahba: Mawcia, what has led you to want this position? Marcia: Well, it wasn't so much wanting it as being urged to run... I resisted for a very long time, but finally gave in to the urgings of various people. Bahba: Cayah to weveal these suppowtahs? Marcia: Well, my husband Duke Zagmar... Duke Nightstalker has also indicated his support. It was mostly the urgings of the planet-owners of those two Duchies, as well that contributed to my running. Bahba: Mawcia... that leads to anothah question... If you become Empawusse, it's conceivable that we would then have to call half of Fed's men Empawah Consowt. What would be yowah solution to this plethowa of Supweem Commandahs? Marcia: Not at all, they'll still have their own ranks in their own rights... Duke, Baron, Journeyman... Bahba: So! That's yowah solution... Deny any of them the title. Bahba: Senatah, I was going to ask Senatah Tewuwwian this, but I believe it applies to you as well. Is it twue you awh twying to hide a nefawious past with attempts to be goody-two-shoes nowah? [[Marcia looks confused.]] Marcia: Am I being goody-two-shoes? I don't have anything to hide. Not with spybeams around. Bahba: Those awh the womawhs my scwipt whitahs gave me. Marcia: Ah, I see. Your comm unit crackles with a message from Aja, 'batter up!' Bahba: Mawcia, you've heawd the expwession 'behind evahwy successful man is a good woman'. Is theyah a cewtain man to whom you attwibute a pohtion of yowah success? [[Marcia thinks carefully]] Marcia: No, I can't say that there's =a= man. I'd say that a good portion of the men in Fed can claim a portion of that honor. [[Bahba smywels professionally]] Bahba: Senatah, in the past, you have - among othah things - wun a bowahdello out of Sam's that included a ticket machine in Castillo's exchange. Is this a new innovation you'd pwopose fowah othah exchanges awound Sol? [[Spacesinger pulls out his map of Castillo and studies it intently]] Marcia: Well, it really only worked for Sam's and Castillo's exchange at that particular point in history. And it really was the receptionist who was giving out the tickets. Bahba: So that won't be paht of yowah weign should you be ouwah Empawusse? Marcia: Probably not. Unless there was a call for it. [[Tuesday wonders if the tickets were luncheon vouchers]] [[Marcia nods to Tuesday]] Marcia: Similar Tuesday, very similar. Bahba: So if, say, thewah was a 'need', the pwactice would be wevived? Marcia: If there was a call for it, I don't see why not. Your comm unit crackles with a message from Aja, 'Yes, an Empereuse who runs a bordello! [[Spacesinger wonders how much taxes could be collected through a government run bordello]] Your comm unit crackles with a message from Marcia, 'Are you applying for a position Aja? I could use an exotic type. Bahba: One last question pwease? Should you not win, which of yowah opponents would you pwefah to see finish in the lead? Marcia: I'm not sure who all is officially running right now. [[Bahba consults her notes]] Bahba: Well, they awh Babawusse, Occy, Toppah, Elex and Devon, othah than yowahself fwom what I see heah in my notes. Marcia: Devon? [[Marcia blinks in surprise]] Bahba: Yes, he's something of a dahkhowas fwom what we undahstand. Marcia: Yes, I would guess so. Bahba: So who would you pwefah to see win, should you not? Marcia: Hmmm, quite an interesting array of men. Delicious, most of them. Bahba: You would base yowah support on how 'delicious' each is? Marcia: Who have they said, or have they declined an answer? Bahba: Well, you'll have to wead my intahviews to find that out. [[Marcia considers what it would be like to taste the rest of the other candidates]] [[Marcia smiles]] [[Spacesinger wonders why Bahba didn't ask Marcia what kind of a tree she'd be... if she were a tree that is]] Marcia: Ahh... well, I really don't know. I think perhaps Elex. He's been around the longest of all of us, and presumably would do a good job. [[Marcia notes that she has her facts a bit off and corrects herself]] Marcia: Besides Occy that is. Bahba: Vewy good! I thank you fowah yowah time, Senatah and wish you best of luck. [[Marcia smiles at Bahba]] Marcia: Thank you! Spacesinger: What kind of tree *would* you be... if you were a tree? Marcia: Maple. Spacesinger: Hmmm... a sticky answer to a sticky question. **>> HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSES This letter was received last week from Baron Aja (before she became a Duchesse). Dear Demi-Goddess Hazed, I am writing to you in order to inform you of the inhumane and abominable conditions existing right here in Federation Sol-space! Let me explain... This past weekend, while unsuspectingly going about the business of tending my builds, I was abruptly apprehended on the edge of my own Anomaly space by Federation Customs police and then summarily thrown into the atrocious environs of the hell-hole known as Earth's Jail. I am well aware of the reasoning against 'Club Fed-eration Prison' and the argument asserting that there will be nothing to discourage crime if our prisons are a playground. However, violations of basic human rights must be vilified wherever they occur! I question if anyone in the ponderous Federation bureaucratic conglomerate knows (or cares) about the terrible over-crowding that exits there... Me, an innocent, helpless female... I was thrown into the same cell with two and sometimes three men! There should be separate facilities for men and women within Earth's confinement complex! And the guards who terrorize the poor inmates use practices one would ascribe to that ancient organization known as Old-Earth's Inquisition. Such methods would lead one to suspect that Sol Authorities have sunk to the depths of using soul-less droids to care for those hapless persons unlucky enough to fall victim to the unprincipled functionaries patrolling space under the guise of Customs personnel. Not only were the crowded conditions bad... the only sustenance offered to the starving inmates was marsrat by-products and week-old pizza. And everyone knows, that pizza is awful when it's fresh! Lastly, as unbelievable as it may sound, while languishing behind those cold steel bars late one night, I actually witnessed a group of terrified prisoners being shepherded away in leg-irons by a dark-cloaked figure suspiciously resembling that scion of Mars economy, Diesel herself! A fellow cell-mate of mine, quaking with dread, divulged hints of what despicable practices those poor souls were soon to face! Demi-Goddess, I go on record saying... as long as such affronts to fundamental human rights are allowed to exist, we must all fear for our safety, whether in the berths of our ships or on our planetary homes! Aja, Baroness of Sphinx **>> PLANET TOUR Plantking has uploaded a new version of his very excellent offline tour program that allows planet designers to check out their work using a capture of the workbench listings. The program is available on GEnie, and you can download it from the MPGames library on page 1045. Here's the file details: Number: 4913 Name: CKPL112A.ZIP Address: R.ELLIS21 Date: 950208 Approximate # of bytes: 135296 Number of Accesses: 1 Library: 39 Description: ----- BETA TEST VERSION ----- Includes programs to check for possible errors in your planet's location, object and event files, and to allow you to take an offline tour that will simulate what a player in the online game would experience if your planet were online. Requires that you have a capture of the "list" output from the workbench for all 3 files to do a complete checkout, but will run with just enough of the location file so that your link, orbit, lp and hospital can be defined. -=*=- Requires an IBM PC or compatible, DOS 2.1 or higher, and an 80x25 display. This new version, which replaces version 1.12, has several changes in it. They are detailed in Plantking's post to the MPGames BBS: Cat 43, Top 4, Mss 134. This really is a useful program, because with the forthcoming changes to the way you can edit your planet, it's going to be more important than ever to get it right first time! **>> WHAT'S IN A NAME? Remember Alf, who used to be Alfresco? He is now Alfresco again, after briefly being Alfalfresco. Confused? We'll try to explain... A player by the name of Alfresco joined the fun in Fed DataSpace, but many people complained that his name was too long to type. He liked his name, but didn't want to miss out on kisses, so he asked Our Illustrious Leader to shorten his name to Alf. But Alf found he wasn't getting any extra kisses after all! Or if he was, he decided they weren't worth the sorrow at losing his lovely name. So he got down on bended knee and begged to have his initial name restored to him. After much grumbling, Bella agreed, and waved her magic wand to change his name back again. But the wand was faulty and didn't change his name from Alf to Alfresco; it joined the two together, so he became Alfalfresco! Next day, the wand functioned properly and Alf got his old name back. Just don't change your mind again, Alf, please! **>> SNIPPETS Examination of the members of the Senate earlier this week showed that Marcia's on the inactive list. Poor dear, she must have been exhausted from all that campaigning! Helena has been heard complaining loudly about too many men pursuing her. There are so many of them, she has trouble telling them all apart! Perhaps if she stopped smiling and winking at every man she meets, they'd stop following her home... Erica and Aren are getting married next Saturday, venue and time to be announced. China and Benson's wedding is due to take place tonight (Sunday) in the chapel on the Moon. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES There's a new Duke on the block! Aja foiled the nasty old Martians, saved the Galaxy from a fate worse than death, and became the ruler of a shiny new duchy. This brings the number of duchies to seven - and there is still one slot free, so we need two more Dukes before someone gets made into a Senator. There's still a lot of people working at that... a count this morning showed 11 leisure planets. While not all these Barons are building the facilities they need to attempt the Duke puzzle, we can assume that there will be a number of new Dukes in the near future. Aren's Naug and Bgg's Cafe have advanced to become Mining planets, and Mosquito's Kama and Tantras' Vertigo are now Leisure worlds. A new Duke usually means a lot of shuffling around as planet-owners review their alliances. So far, Aja's only picked up two planets - Dirge's Qushmarrah (they have long been allies) and the relatively new Greenvale (owned by Ceinwen), which had held itself Independent until now. Here's the current state of the duchies. There are no Independent planets. Looney's Insanity has four planets: two are Leisure worlds, one Industrial and one Mining. Zagmar's Valaria is a bit one-sided, since of the six planets four are Mining. To balance this there is just one Leisure and one Mining world. Nightstalker's Nightfall has a more varied portfolio of planets, with seven: two Leisure, two Industrial, one Mining and two Agricural. Sean's Eire has nine: two Leisure, one Technical, three Mining and three Agricultural worlds. Again, more variety and more opportunities for trading within the duchy. Amigan's Athens also has a good spread of planets, although perhaps a little top-heavy; its eight worlds are three Leisure, one Technical, one Industrial, two Mining and one Agricultural. Budwarp's Epini is definitely bottom-heavy, with just one of his eight planets at Technical level, and the rest all Agricultural worlds. Obviously Budwarp has been attracting the newer planet-owners to his duchy. Finally, Aja's new Sphinx has two planets: one Leisure and one Agricultural. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Another week, another batch of promotions... congratulations to everyone who advanced! The new Captains were Prospero, Anais, Ferret, Tigger, Fox, Tushkahoma, Michael, Beholder, Westy, Andrew, Misty and Helpless. Prospero, Hanz, Anais and Greybeard made it to Adventurer or -euse. The Traders Guild admitted Pyke, Prospero, Greyspirit, Milburn, Patrick and Ukla to its ranks. Kain and carla cracked the awesome JP puzzle. Fastjack and Kainaw solved the fiendish GM puzzle. Both went on to become Explorers. Aren and Bgg advanced their planets and were promoted to Thane. Mosquito and Tantras became Baron(esse)s as their planets advanced. Aja became a Duchesse by solving the devilish Duke puzzle. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. The current Federation Party Hosts are: Mira, Redqueen, Caterpillar, Lyrynna, Gazoo and Grannie. Their function is to answer questions, help new players get started, and make fun things happen. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Party Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 **>> BULLETIN ENDS