**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.11.06 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> THE NEW NEWS! As from today, the weekly Fed News Bulletin is available on the shell menu instead of from the GEnie page. Well, you must already know that, since you're reading it! This is because soon players from other host systems will be joining us, playing this version of Fed. Users of the Cris network will be given access to Fed very shortly; and Delphi will be coming on board sometime before Christmas if all goes smoothly. With the news on the shell menu, all Fed players will be able to read it no matter what system they connect from. We already have one person logging on from Delphi: Varina, our newest Party Host! Please welcome her to Fed Data Space. **>> CHANGES AND FIXES Bella has been making a number of changes to the game over the past week, adding some new features as well as fixing problems that showed up as a result of the switch to NewFed. A bug that really did only affect the filthy rich meant that anyone with more than 100 meg who tried to buy a ship was refused because they didn't have enough money! Makes a change from the poor being discriminated against. This has been fixed, as has the problem that meant networths were being incorrectly calculated. The problems with the new workbench have now been fixed, we hope! If anyone still experienced problems, please let us know and send us a capture of the problem. The game now handles money in a different way, and as a result if your personal balance contains more than 100 meg then your riches will only be shown in megagroats. This should not be a problem, since if you have that much money in your personal balance you shouldn't be worrying about piddling small change! **>> CHANGES TO WORKBOARD In order to pep up the economy, Bella has done a number of things to the workboard. The number of job slots has been increased from 20 to 25. The restriction on planet-owners writing jobs directly to the workboard has changed so you can only use one quarter of the board (previously it was a third). Given the increase in slots, this still works out at about the same number of jobs. Transportation Central has speeded up its operation, and will take care of jobs that players don't accept twice as quickly as previously. Given the large number of planets in at the moment, these changes were necessary to give planet-owners a chance to get their jobs showing on the board. **>> EXPLORER AUTONOMY Explorers can now link their own planets into the game once they are completed. A new option in the Explorers' Workbench tells the game to load your planet. Once activated, the planet will load at the next reset. Because the process is now automated, you will need to drop some sendmail to Hazed to make sure she realises there is a new planet to explore - otherwise you may not get your brave new world written up in the news! There has been a problem with new Explorers not being able to use the Workbench because the files weren't being set up correctly. This has been fixed now, so anyone who promotes in future will be able to use the Workbench immediately - but can current Explorers please check that they can all use the Workbench, and if they can't, please tell Hazed. **>> PLANET-OWNERS - MEET THE BOSS! Just a reminder to those who missed it in last week's news: planet-owners will have a chance to talk to Bella and ask her questions about the all the new features that affect the way you run a planet at a meeting in Fed Data Space on Sunday November 20 at 3.00pm eastern. **>> CHRISTMAS IS COMING... ...and as always, we want to have a special Christmas planet for you to explore. In past years Krell, Blackadder and Tellurian have all designed very successful Christmas worlds. It's now time to start thinking about what we want to do this year. So, we want a volunteer to build us a planet, and we want ideas from all of you for things you'd like to see on the Christmas planet. Contact Hazed with your suggestions, or to volunteer to build a festive world. **>> GIVING THANKS Speaking of building planets, Redqueen is designing us a Thanksgiving planet. It will be a family holiday in the Land of the Ticky-Tacky! And there will be a couple of competitions linked to the planet. First: we want YOU to write us a location for the planet. The best locations we receive will be added to the planet, and the one we think is the very best will get a prize. Then, as you explore the planet, you can have a go at guessing who wrote which location. The person who gets the most correct will win a prize. Send your locations to Redqueen (FEDASST on GEnie). **>> UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART Some guys will do anything to get out of a marriage. They'll lie, they'll cheat on their wives, or just be big jerks in general. But Maha had to be different. After appearing in the Ritz on Surf and informing Devon he would be his ex-father in law in a matter of minutes, he then informed Devon that the head of the Skye clan was almost responsible for the destruction of the entire universe. Maha had been visited by a cyborg sent from the future to alter the past in a completely unoriginal plot device. This cyborg related to Maha a dark tale of how his marraige to Alana Skye (Devon's daughter) would ultimately bring forth the demise of Existance As We Know It. For Marraige changed Maha. No longer was he content to be the oldest captain in Fedspace. No more could he just sit in bars and chat with folks and play immature pranks while life passed him by. He was now a family man with responsibilities. And drives and ambitions that he'd previously been unaware of surfaced... He began a crusade to better himself and the lives of everyone he met so that his family, nay EVERYONE could live in peace. With his newfound work ethic and the tidy nest-egg he'd built up from countless tours of duty in the Pit Room on mars, he worked his way into the Power Elite of the Federation, zooming up the ranks until two months later becoming a member of the Senate. With a "can-do" attitude he pushed reforms through the governing body, settling the scores in age-old rivalries, healing the scarring done by years of infighting between the Federation's powerful clans, and even bringing about an end to the Cola Wars. Yes, Maha proved himself a true leader, ushering in a new era of peace in a galaxy devestated by centuries of conflict. The Senate, realizing that its own existance wasn't merely superflouous but actually detrimental to the well-being of the Federation, abolished itself as a ruling body and after asking the consent of The People (of course) voted to appoint Maha Emperor of the Universe. Maha, seeing only the potential to do even greater good for the citizens of the Federation humbly accepted. And for a short while under the benevolent rule of Maha I the galaxy flourished. But it was not to last. Powerful beings from another dimension had been watching and studying this benign empire and wanted to emulate it in their own universe. As a sign of respect and admiration they sent their own emperor to contact Maha, to ask him how they might be able to bring about such a renaissance in their own dimension. But as his physical form was not compatable with our universe, he had to assume the body of a being from our own dimension. By a TERRIBLE stroke of bad luck, the extra-dimensional emperor formed himself in the image of Tellurian Ne Galdur, Maha's old pie-duelling adversary. When the alien emperor suddenly materiaized before Maha, Maha reacted by shouting "Just when I thought I was out, they keep pulling me back IN!" and proceeded to splat the emperor from another dimension with a barrage of pies and silly string the likes which has never been seen. By anyone. Period. Needless to say the alien emperor was slightly insulted by this incident. He sent forth his armadas, resulting in an intergalactic, interdimensional war which resulted in the complete and total annihilation of our universe. All because Devon just HAD to see his daughter married. But Maha, upon hearing the news of the forthcoming disaster, decided he could not let it happen. With the help of the time-travelling cyborg, he arranged for a previous incarnation of himself, from a time before the marriage to be brought to the present... At which point he would take his own life and all possibility marriage to Alana with him so the rest of the universe might be spared. So, Maha did his best speed bump imitation and hurled himself under the wheels of an onrushing bus. Only to find himself in the hospital where the insurance company activated his clone. Undaunted, he hit the streets again (literally), finding yet another bus under which he could sacrifice himself so that the Universe might live. As an aside, it's interesting to note that once again a marriage in the Skye clan has ended in suicide. Coincidence? Or something more? We can only wonder... All that's known for sure is that marriage licenses for the Skye clan are now being printed with expiration dates... **>> THE WINSLOW If you've been puzzled, as we have, by the constant referances by certain players to The Winslow, you'll be interested to read the following religious tract which was delivered to the H-by-A office. What, you may ask, is The Winslow? The Winslow is the Leaping, Laughing Lizard of Light. The Winslow is the Dim Fuzzy Demon of Death. The Winslow is the Mathematical Manifestion of Madness. The Winslow is also, according to some, the Savior, the Accursed One, and various other thingies as well. Yes, you may respond, but what IS The Winslow? The Winslow is a small, green, fuzzy reptillian creature measuring exactly 66 centimeters from nose to tail. It is indestructible, immortal, and prone to saying "Heyyas" a whole lot. But, I can hear you ask, what makes the darn thing so important that he has his own Church? There are numerous arguments for this point, and most of them go as follows: "The Winslow is divine because He is the same size, shape and color as the Perfect Lizard of Love, who, incidentally, is also The Winslow." This curiously circular logic seems to follow The Winslow no matter where He travels, and probably accounts for the fact that He has become the major component of the religions of fully three quarters of those races that have encountered Him. No one seems to know WHY The Winslow is important, but they all concur that if everyone ELSE thinks He's important, He must be. Recently, whilst on a three-year drinking binge, I was interrupted in my drunken stupor by the Holy Presence of The Winslow nearby. Admittedly, at the time, I thought at first that He was no more then a small, green, fuzzy reptillian hallucination who said "Heyyas". However, as The Winslow's Holy Radiance forced me to sober up, I was quickly seized by an all-consuming religious epiphany of the sort usually only reserved for guys who hear their girlfriends tell them the test came back negative. After spending the rest of the evening basking in The Pure Love Which Is The Winslow, I returned to Fed DataSpace with a mission....a mission to spread the word of The Winslow. And that word is "Heyyas". Progress was slow, at first. Initially branded an insane, raving lunatic (so what else is new?), people were understandably slow to convert to this new faith. When the Heresy of The Conic Anamorphosis reared it's ugly, mis-shapen head, things got even worse. Gradually, though, The Conic Anamorphosis faded away and the first of my flock Converted. Currently, The Church of The Winslow consists of only the following members: Eeyore (First Disciple and Holy Donkey Boy to The Winslow), Maha (Sacred Pie-Thrower to The Winslow), Pink (First Guardianeuse of The Winslow, and of The Faithful), myself (Raven, First Prophet to The Winslow), and our ultra-secret enigmatic Fifth Member, whose identity is known only to myself at this time. Our Doctrine is simple: go forth in The Name of The Winslow, and say "Heyyas" often. Oh yes, also killing anyone who attempts to bug The Winslow for an autograph. We are currently actively seeking new members - this invitation is open to all, regardless of race, creed, religion or Rank. Every new convert will be welcomed joyously into the faith, and will receive a personalized Title, inspired directly by The Winslow. Anyone interested should contact either myself, or my lovely wife, Pink. One last thing, I can hear you say, what about those rumours that Winslowites enjoy truly gratifying sex lives, beyond the ken of normal humanity? Those rumours are, of course, completely unfounded. ::Wink!:: Raven, First Prophet to The Winslow **>> SCANDAL AND GOSSIP AND LIES, OH MY! A rather meagre selection of gossip for you this week. Obviously our scandalmongerdroids need shaking up a bit. A big party was held in CDs last night after Raven made it to GM (thanks to help from Chance). Champagne corks flew across the room, there was much mirth and frivolity, and Lola danced and did a striptease to entertain the partygoers. Athamest is trying to follow in the footsteps of wannabe-Emperor Topper by coming on to anything female. We haven't been told whether he's been successful or not. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES Two new planets grace the heavens: Corinthus' Sparta and Gortek's Tula. Sparta joined Amigan's Athens and Tula joined Zagmar's Valaria. Otherwise, the only movement in the duchies has been caused by a few planets spinning in and out. Romana's Brittany is now a mining world, and Budwarp's Epini is now leisure. Budwarp is pushing ahead with his Duke builds, obviously wishing to become a power in the forthcoming Emperor elections! In last week's news we said that Cheri's planet had a "fake death" room that you had to suicide to leave. Cheri tells us this wasn't deliberate, it was a problem with an event that didn't work as she intended. She's fixed it now. **>> POLLUTION ON SPARTA Sparta is a beautiful world, with forest glades, sparkling waterfalls, rustic villages. Its inhabited by a race of centaurs who live simple lives, in tune with nature, in harmony with their world. But Sparta has been scarred by heavy industry and pollution. The Naegler Mining Company has settled on Sparta to rape the world of its minerals and ores. They are uprooting the forests, poisoning the rivers, polluting the air, and all in the name of profit. What they are doing is probably illegal; it is certainly unethical. The Centaurs are trying their best to heal their world and repel the invaders... will they succeed? Is the NMC breaking the law? And what is the secret of the vicious dragon that lurks in the cave? Corinthus has done a good job of writing a world divided. The contrast between the pastoral, natural parts of the planet and the NMC areas is shown by the vivid location descriptions. The waterfall area in particular is extremely well-written and evocative. Sparta is a planet well worth exploring. **>> STOP PRESS! One Of Our Droids Is Missing! A head (or equivalent) count of the H-by-A newsdroids reveals that one of the junior reporterdroids has disappeared. Last seen during the explorations of Sparta. Any information gratefully received: rewards will be paid. **>> ANCIENT TULA Tula is also a planet of contrasts, but this time the contrasts are of time. The planet depicts the ancient Aztec capital, Tenochtitlan - restored to its former glory by archeologists. As you explore, you are awed by the splendour of the newly-risen city, but you are not encouraged to touch anything - and certainly not to take souvenirs! There are beautiful gardens filled with plants, and an aviary with all known exotic birds. A path leads to a lake where a boat awaits to take you to an island; or you can try to pilot Gortek's private plane. Tula is an interesting planet, particularly for those interested in the period it depicts. **>> SPYNET REVIEW We can now bring you the first SpyNet Review of NewFed, bringing you a roundup of promotions and deaths during the last week (and a bit). The new Captains were Mortis, Alfrescoe, Lewis, Maran, Shadowlord, Ceinwen, Solo, Buck, Jake, Bob, Varina and Starfire. Tatanka, Alfrescoe, Bill and Solo made it to Adventurer. Nao joined the Traders Guild. Taintpure, Scott, Kal, Spudk, Merry, Reade, Wolfgang and Arenanaug were all promoted to Merchant. The awesome JP puzzle was cracked by Primetime. Raven solved the fiendish GM puzzle, then went on to make Explorer. Corinthus and Gortek became Squires when their new planets were linked into the game. Romana promoted to Thane by advancing her planet to mining. Budwarp became a Baron when his planet turned leisure. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. The current Federation Party Hosts are: Mira, Redqueen, Caterpillar, Lyrynna and Varina. Their function is to answer questions, help new players get started, and make fun things happen. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Party Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FEDERATION2 on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 **>> BULLETIN ENDS