**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.05.01 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Mosquito plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> GUEST APPEARANCE This week's news has been compiled by a Guest NewsDroid, Mosquito. Before we hand the news remote control over to her, here's the official bits... **>> TROUBLED TIMES It's been a nasty week. The computer that Fed (and some of the other GEnie games) runs on had a major hardware failure, and on two days it went down in the early hours of the morning, with service only being restored in the early evening. The GEnie tech people tell us that the problem has now been fixed (phew!). Bella has turned off base deterioration in order to compensate Rich People for their lost builds, and will leave it off for several days. The people who suffered most from the problems were Rai and Sean. Following the deals they made with Hazed for cheap promotion, Bella patched the game code to take out the agreed sum, which it did... but before she could remove the patch, the problems started, so each time the game fired up it tried to remove the fee again, got its knickers in a twist, and left the two players with an enormous negative balance! As soon as the computers started behaving again, Bella was able to reverse the damage to their treasuries. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES Rai and Sean's planets are now mini, following their advancement to mining level. Tantras' Vertigo has also just promoted to mining, and will be turning mini shortly. Bella will be putting in two planets during the week. First, on Monday or Tuesday, will be Blackadder's TerraIncognita (the hardware problems prevented Bella from linking it in last week). Then later in the week, Ciaran's planet Ulster will be put in. Now, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Mosquito! **>> MAY DAY! MAY DAY! MAY DAY! If this had been a real emergency, you'd have been blown to bits. Luckily for you, this is just a reminder of the GEnie May Faire on May 14th from 8:00 pm to 11:00 pm eastern, in the national RTC. There will be no charge to people who visit the Faire. There will be six different topics of discussion about different aspects of Fed to entice new players. The topics will be: * Getting started in Fed * Friends, fun and parties in Fed * Making groats and getting promotions * Offence and defence - fighting in Fed * Planetary construction - build your own world * Galactic politics and economics If you'd like to volunteer to help out for all or part of the three hour Faire, Leave a note for Hazed under the "Promotions and Special Events" topic in Cat 13 of the MPGames BBS. **>> CRITICS WANTED Speaking of the BBS, Hazed has started a topic for you to comment on the printed version of the Idiot's Guide (available for the paltry sum of $15.95 by typing ORDER from any main GEnie menu). She wants to know if you've spotted any errors in the Guide (surely not!), if there's anything you think could be explained more clearly, or if you think there are things that should be in the Guide, but aren't. Now, we know Hazed is a demi-Goddess and you don't normally dare criticize deities in any way, but for this topic she's given you all permission to point out where she might have done something wrong (perish the thought!) and she promises not to take retribution against your unkind words. **>> A BOINKING WE WILL GO! Fed's reigning society couple hosted another impromptu party last week. Kama, Squire Mosquito's planet, was the site of the event. The Ne Galder family was there in full force requesting a demonstration of 'boinking' from their hosts, Mosquito and Soon-to-be Squire Blackadder. The highlight of the party was provided by Tantras when he sang the following verse: o/~You can boink me in the morning, you can boink me in the night, you can boink me on Kama, BA boink her -- alright? o/~ **>> ROMANCE WATCH Romance seems to be in the air on Fed as April comes to a close. The following couples have been reported as being very cozy during the last week by our team of roving reporters: Amigan and Florida, Sean and Mira, Cicero and Kathy, Athena and Alucard, and Shauna and Alucard. Hopefully, Sean's insurance is paid up because he may need it after his beloved Siobhan gets through with him. **>> PERILOUS PUZZLE PENETRATED! Blackadder, a fiendishly clever puzzler in his own right, has solved the horrific puzzle of Neemeesis and has earned the 150 meg reward offered by Tellurain ne Galder. Hopefully, with the puzzle solved, there will be fewer deaths unless the lure of the 75 meg reward for second place is stronger than the desire for self preservation. Tantras solved the puzzle on Tempest for 40 meg while Tellurain and Alucard received 10 meg each for their efforts. With TerraIncognito ready to link, there should be more for the puzzled solvers among us to enjoy. **>> TWO MANY GEMINI'S During the past few weeks, a new player by the name of Tyiez has been seen on Fed. That in itself is not remarkable as we have new players on a fairly consistant basis. The problem here is that Tyiez was a well known character played by the OOC personality of Gemini. Needless to say, Gemini is not at all amused and would like to request that Tyiez be retired AGAIN. On a lighter note, it seems another facet of Gemini has made an appearance. Sighting of small blue creature was seen around Earth and Castillo. According to what could be recovered from our mangled newsdroid, it seems that Exotic Dancer, Gypsysmurf is alive and well on Fed, much to Gemini's chargin. **>> A VACATIONER'S PARADISE Need a vacation? How about a nice cheerful friendly place with smiling pirates and cutthroats ready to help you? A place where you don't have to worry about sunburn as you lie out on the airless landscape lighted by an eerie blue-green light? A place where you can find lots of companionship in a bar famous for its food and drink? A place that many tourists are just dying to visit? A place which will give you everlasting memories you will cherish? Come to Snark, the vacationer's paradise! See the beautiful landscape of harsh, ugly airless desert. Wade through the fabulous oil pit! Experience the thrill of rockets launching up close (just love that <>). Savor the taste of the local food that makes cafeteria stuff seem great. Try the local brew that tastes as though it came from a horse. Finally, be sure not to miss the orange-lighted corridor; it gives you this special feeling you'll never forget! Be sure to book early - we have crowds of eager travelers dying to go to Snark; don't be disappointed. Fine print: Space suit required. Insurance recommended. Ability to socialize with criminals highly recommended. Due to high demand only Journeypersons & above need apply. This agency not liable if you get fried, irradiated, starved to death, or life snuffed out. The Boojum Tourist Authority This advertisement reported to you by Guild Master Perseus **>> SPYNET REVIEW Congratulations to everyone who promoted during the week. The new Captains were Dave, Melissa, Spacey, Nexus, Florida, Serg, Erebus, Dabucks, Minuteman and Mara (back from the dead). Joebob, Serg, Golgatha, Scott and Athena made it to Adventurer or Adventureuse. The Traders Guild admitted Mira and Formic to its ranks. Ishmee, Alucard and Starman were promoted to Merchant. Brandy solved the awesome JP puzzle. Azure cracked the fiendist GM puzzle, and then went on to make Explorer. Rai, Sean and Tantras were promoted to Thane as their planets advanced to mining. Explorer Mara and Trader Gordon both died fatally, for reasons unknown. Finally, Rai has played 1000 games, and Occy (the longest-serving Fedder) has played 3000 games! **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC and Amiga. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation official libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy one. Or more! Federation has several categories in the MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT has a Federation player library in the files area, Lib 5. **>> BULLETIN ENDS