**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 94.01.23 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 **>> Compiled by Azure plus a team of specialist newsdroids 
 **>> <SEND HAZED> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! 
 
 
 **>> GUEST NEWSDROID 
 
This week, the news has been compiled and written by Azure, our Guest
NewsDroid. We are now seeking volunteers to do the honours in future
months. If you have a yen to compile the news for a week, mail Hazed and
offer your services. You will be well rewarded! 
 
Next week, Hazed will be back in the Editrix's chair, and she'll bring you
a report on the up-and-coming Senator code, which lets them set up spyrings
to do damage to other players! 
 
Before we hand over to Azure, a quick word from our sponsor. 
 
 
 **>> HOW THE NEW IDIOT'S GUIDE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE 
 
Lost? Confused? In a muddle? Don't know which way to turn for help? 
 
You need the new third edition of The Idiot's Guide to Federation, written
especially with your problems in mind! The expert problem-solving droids at
H-by-A slaved for years to bring you a book that really will change your
life. 
 
Don't take our word for it - just listen to some of our many satisfied
customers: 
 
"I used to fight the guide, and was stuck at Merchant.  But I ordered it
this morning, and half an hour ago, I made JP!  Thank you, Idiot's Guide!" 

--Sincere Testimonial By Tantras 
 
And it could happen to you, if you rush out to buy The Idiot's Guide to
Federation for the paltry sum of $15.95! Just type ORDER from any GEnie
menu, and change YOUR life for the better. 
 
And now... heeeeeeeeeeeeere's Azure! 
 
 
 **>> A CHANGE OF LIFESTYLE 
 
What's this?  Has our bard found the better way?  After being engulfed by
the flames of "purgatory" <?>, Alexander has come back to us a changed
person.  After a divine revelation and experience, he now is at peace
within himself.  You mean that's possible here in FED?  And what does all
this mean?  Meditating on grapes?  Philosophical meanings?  A grape is
knowledge, representing perfect mind, The spirit of the Song.  What
happened to St. Peggasus? 
 
Alexander was also overheard telling Mosquito and Azure that he's not only
given up alcohol for herbal tea, but that he has also sworn off sex.  !!!!
The poor newsdroid fainted. 
 
 
 **>> RATINGS.... 
 
The spybeams of a team of international judges were in danger of melting
down Monday night as two of Fed's Journeypersons had a go at it in the
Gazebo on Nautilus.  It was a steamy encounter between two JPs of the same
gender persuasion and involved the use of various, um, 'toys.'  The
newsdroid that relayed this info was unable or unwilling to supply names.
It was, however, caught later on alternately singing a little ditty (Say
has any body seen my sweet *bzzzzz*crackle --===* ?  Here's her picture
when she was my .......) and saying something about letting the cat out of
the bag. 
 
Oh, the international judges?  They awarded the pair a combined score of
7.1 (on a scale of 10).  One judge abstained claiming that he didn't
understand the event. 
 
 
 **>> A TERRANOVA-IZING EXPERIENCE 
 
Blackadder's planet went online this week.  Quite an experience for the
brave and brave-hearted.  Although the first day or two, the mobiles and
objects didn't want to cooperate.  That is all fixed now, and there are
(read his lips) "No more bugs". 
 
Among the places of interest there is an Inn with rooms to fit any budget,
a large castle to explore, several wine cellars to raid, libraries for the
more literate, and embassies for all.  Don't forget about the lower east
end and the wilder side of life, although bew... &@*(##$$  Ooops, there
went that newsdroid.  Hmmm... wonder what happened? 
 
Oh, by the way, don't forget to grab some roses from the garden on your way
to visit the cemetary. 
 
I also hear he is offering a good sum to any JP or lower that solves the
puzzle there.  Are you courageous and brave enough to tackle it? 
 
 
 **>> SPEAKING OF NEW PLANETS 
 
Hawkwood and Ciaran are promising us more new planets to explore soon. 
And, don't forget, next weekend we will have the Valentine's day planet,
Saccharin, to check out.  Wonder if it will leave a bitter aftertaste? 
From what this newsdroid has heard, is a definite "must see".  Be there, or
be square... 
 
 
 **>> BABY BOOM TIME AGAIN 
 
Yes, it's happening again.  More babies.  The question is though, who will
be first.  That was answered early this past Thursday morn when Mara went
into labor.  The coms were a buzz with cries for a doctor or a midwife.
Azure rushed to the mansion on Earth to assist Mara in this wonderful of
wonders, the bringing of a child into this universe.  It's a girl!  Little
Noel has now joined us. 
 
Also expecting are Azure and Marcia. 
 
 
 **>> AND YET ANOTHER WEDDING? 
 
Fletcher announced that he would be marrying Mara as soon as the baby was
born.  Now that the little one is here, will he still follow thru with
that? Have they set a date yet?  And, what about paternity?  Will Santa pay
up or was that his Xmas gift to the couple?  Enquiring minds want to
know...... 
 
 
 **>> DUELING REWARDS 
 
Seems there is a new pastime in FED now.  The highly prized position of
"Most Wanted" has had two main contenders this last week.  It didn't take
Tellurian long to leave Marcia behind in this quest.  Topping out at a
whopping 27,887,000 IG before getting trapped in a macro and Nautilus
patrol rudely depriving him of his hard earned title.  And I was so looking
forward to a chance at getting that this Sunday afternoon at the fights. 
<sigh> 
 
 
 **>> DON'T YOU JUST HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS? 
 
Some whippersnapper newbod comes along, and just has to start trouble.  You
know the type.  They just can't figure out what they are suppose to do, and
then if you offer help to them, they go behind your back and tell lies
about you.  Or worse, remember the one last week that tried to off our dear
Senator Freya?  And, if that isn't bad enough, they get on the coms and
whinge about how cruel life is to them. 
 
But you know what's even worse?  I'll tell you. (You knew I was going to,
didn't you?)  A trader that has no clue.  Not only doesn't know what
trading is or how to do it (that's an on the job training); but find they
need higher stats, have hopped up thru the ranks too quickly, didn't stop
to read the roadsigns along the way, and "puzzle?  What puzzle?".... 
 
 
 **>> NOT MORE PETS! 
 
Oh no... another furry critter to run around the bars and raise all kinds
of havoc.  But this one is different.. it has intelligence.  Run for
cover.... Azure found out Tellurian liked ferrets, so gifted him with one. 
Wasn't there enough creatures running around?  And, it has been noted that
Tell has already been training the little fuzzy to do tricks.  Be afraid...
be VERY afraid.... 
 
 
 **>> NEWTS IN SPACE 
 
A newt?  Yes, you heard right.  After constantly accusing Azure's potion of
turning him into a newt, Density found himself in said state on a permanent
basis.  Finding himself liking his new size and ability to sneak into
private areas of peoples' clothing, Azure felt that he should be caged for
safe keeping.  Or was that safety of the keep?  But, being the
smart-mouthed newt that he was, she decided that selling his body parts
would be the most profitable thing to do with him.  Via open coms, and
there in Sam's, the auction was held.  First went the eyes of newt to
Fletcher.  Next, Tellurian had the highest bid for Density's reproductive
organs.  Lastly, Tantras just had to have a newt tail. 
 
Yes, dear Density was still alive after all of this.  Zapping has it's
benefits.  After a time of him left to suffer and much begging from the
[hopefully] now reformed newt, the consensus of those there gave in to
allowing him to be regenerated.  So, he is now, again, a full and complete
Newt.  Yes, he is still a newt.  You didn't expect her to turn him back to
some humanoid creature did you? 
 
 
 **>> AS BA TURNS: THE SAGA CONTINUES..... 
 
Our story turns now to the ever increasing escapades and conquests of our
"darling" [gag] emerald-eyed loverboy.  This week, not only has he still
been seeing his usual fling, but has seemed to either forget he is married,
or doesn't care.  He is spotted all week being very open about his passes
and affections towards several of the ladies.   And what about his wife?
How is it effecting her?  Can she withstand his infidelities?  Personally,
I would tell her that what is good for the gander, is good for the goose...
tune in next week for the continueing story..... 
 
 
 **>> EMMI WITHOUT MAX? 
 
What's this?  Has Max finally waited too long to set a date?  Has Sean
proven to be the better man?  Or is there someone else in the picture for
our dear Emmi?  Help!  Would someone please explain this to me?!? 
 
 
 **>> DEAR JOHN 
 
Tell me it isn't so.  Conor returned from his trip back to Scottland, to
find his fiancee, Siohban, had left him.  It is still not clear if someone
else swept her away or if she just didn't want to wait for him.  He was too
broken up over the letter he received up on his return to talk about it.
And yet another heartbreak plagues Fed.  Will it ever end? 
 
 
 **>> BODY ART 
 
Paladin was seen sporting a new tattoo after visiting TerraNova.  Seems the
Zombies there made quite an impression on him.... literally.  He was so
moved by his experience that he stopped by the tattoo shop there before
leaving and had the momento permanently etched in his skin.  Be sure to ask
him about it.  I'm sure you will find the story most interesting.  The
stupid newsdroid's tape recorder jammed and this was all I could get out of
it. 
 
 
 **>> NEW PARTY FADS 
 
Having a party?  Things get a bit too quiet?  Here's a way to liven things
up.  It has recently been seen at a couple parties this newsdroid attended
last week of slapping, hugging, kissing, groping, cuddling, and what not to
your guests ships.  So, if the person you are talking to starts ignoring
you, don't get mad... get shipshocked.  Give their ship a thrill.  Who
knows, you might find it electrifying. 
 
 
 **>> HOT HOT HOT 
 
Hey ladies... get him while he's hot!  Capt was seen to be sporting about a
"lava lap".  Don't waste time.  Hurry, before he goes blind. 
 
 
 **>> ... AND MANY MORE... 
 
Our fine and fearless leader, Bella, celebrated a birthday this past week.
Hail, Bella!  Long may she live!  We hope your day was a good one, and may
you enjoy the pleasure of many more.   Remember, you're not getting older;
you're just getting better. 
 
 
 **>> DON'T LEAVE US 
 
Early this morning, Byterunner and Mosquito faught desperately to save
Azure.  Seems that Ciaran was in a bad state of affairs and extremely
depressed.  When the waitdroids refused to stop serving him alcohol, and he
refused to stop ordering or drinking it, Azure resorted to using the only
thing she knew to bring him peace and comfort.  [Not that, you depraved
soul.]  Although already weak from earlier stress, she gave it her all ...
collapsing into a heap on the floor. 
 
Byterunner quickly moved her to the couch, watching her limp body turn
grey. The paramedics were called in, but she did not respond to their
treatment... so they left.  As he franctically cried for help on the coms,
Skeets rushed to assist.  After hours of praying, finally Azure stirred. 
 
And what of Ciaran?  Where was he during all this?  The ungrateful ingrate
had went right back to his drinking and couldn't have cared less about the
dying woman across the room, or that she was in this condition for trying
to help him. 
 
 
 **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES 
 
Fed has a new Duke! Barberousse climbed back from the dead to fill the one
of the empty Duke slots. His Duchy of Source has attracted a good number of
planets, most of them former members of Insanity. 
 
With a new Duke and a new planet owners, it's time to recap the full status
of the duchies once more. 
 
There are three Independent worlds: Starship, Jinx and Dahih. 
 
Jim's Crime has no planets at all. 
 
Zippo's Oppiz has eight worlds: Valaria, Oasis, Roissy, Mirai, Rtyui,
Nautilus, Warp and Aiel. 
 
Occy's Insanity has six: Dawn, Links, Aytes, Mycenae, Sular and Hyperion. 
 
New Duke on the Block, Barberousse has four planets in Source: Fremd,
Paradigm, Addis and Fortymile. 
 
There's still an empty Duke slot, and the race is on to see who will fill
it. Plantking completed his builds but we don't know what progress he has
made on solving the devilish Duke puzzle. Topper, meanwhile, is moving up
fast having just completed his teleporter. 
 
 
 **>> SPYNET REVIEW 
 
This week's new Captains were Crazy, Density, Chance, Greyslayer, Jorg,
Noel, Atreides, Twinguns and Samurai. 
 
Merkin, Density, Turbo and Samurai made it to Adventurer. 
 
The Traders Guild now has additional members in Garfield, Talisan, Fehu,
Spring, Clown and Snafu. 
 
Lonehawk and Conor made Merchant. 
 
Tantras and Renard solved the awesome JP puzzle. 
 
Mosquito completed her climb back from the dead by making GM then Explorer.
Skurge also made GM. 
 
Blackadder is now Squire of Terranova with a planet of his very own to play
with! 
 
Barberouuse has become the Duke of Source. 
 
Congratulations everyone! 
 
 
 **>> CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so
you don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game 
 
 * <SEND> a message to Hazed or Bella 
 
 * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu
 
A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You
can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on
the main  Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test.  
 
The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation 
is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy

one. Or more! 
 
Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and
discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail
ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the
Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). 
 
The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5.
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives.  
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS