**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 93.12.12 **>> A GemTell & Asciisociates Publication, for H-by-A **>> Compiled by Gemini & Tellurian plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> FREE WEEKEND, OR -- SLEEP? WHASDAT? The Free Weekend is well into the third day as you read this with bloodshot eyes (come on -- who here has slept more than an hour here, an hour there?). After a rocky start, things have been moving along at a rapid pace. Imperial scientists have made a shocking discovery, related to the disappearing player planets (see adjoining story Gnab Gib). Hazed will be returning to the helm of this fine journalistic endeavor next week. But she did manage to screw up, and lost all the Spynet information she's been saving these past weeks. We'll forgive her this once. If she does it again, we'll just mutter the word, 'Mobilees' to her. **>> A NOTE FROM HAZED I'd like to say Thank You to all those that offered sympathy and condolences over the last few weeks. It's been a tough time for me, and one thing that has helped me get through it is knowing that I have so many friends online. Your thoughts have kept me going. Fi Craig [Hazed] **>> THE GNAB GIB IS HERE! Yes, that's right! The end of the universe is here--the dreaded Gnab Gib, where everything gets sucked back into the center of the universe! With the appearing and vanishing duchies left and right, no one noticed the warning signs, until it was too late! It suddenly occured on Saturday morning, when people preparing to jump through the Interstellar Link noticed that most of the planets had been destroyed by the collapsing edge of the universe! Only the systems of Lupus, Liberty, and the Arena survived; it has been theorized that the first two are so near to the Solar System that they just haven't been hit yet, and the Arena is still in one piece because, well, NOTHING can destroy the Arena! Use this opportunity to go for a ride on the Giant Snail on Cabbage! In addition, a startling number of new people are now visiting the Solar System; it is believed that these are people from far away planets who fled the collapsing universe's edge and came to the Solar System. Tantras has announced that even as this is being written, he is working on Project: Castrovalva. If all goes as planned, the Gnab Gib will not only be halted before it destroys the Solar System, but the edge of the universe will move back and restore some of the planets that we've all known to love and hate. Baron Plantking of Canna, Ocean, was the victim of bad timing: he was building his teleporter, and got it up to 98% when the Gnab Gib hit. He'll be teleporting about shortly if Tantras' project is a success. "I should warn you," Tantras said in a press conference, "that while the universe will be safe once more, you never know when the Gnab Gib could strike again!" **>> "CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?" Those words have been spoken before, but why, if the real world is so messed up, must our FANTASY world be drug down too? Lately, certain factions have been heating up each other again and again, much to the chagrin of some new players, or others who grow tired of it. Why then, does it continue? Well, the answers rest on the administrations head and shoulders. You see, the game is NO RULES! No rules makes for a wide-open game. Both sides of the argument have used that old crutch to support themselves. "If there are no rules, then I can say what I want !" "If there are no rules, I can kill/do what I want" Just this Sunday morning, Hazed was telling a newbod who was asking about weapons for killing people that FED was a trading game, and not a fighting one. This is true, but it is also true that people CAN die in Fed. That is the seeming crux that the whole argument seems to hinge on. Bochiman, on his one, self-rightous, hand tries to let people die on their own; if they are going to die. He does not like to see them die, unless it is in the interest of their exploring of puzzle-solving, and is their own doing. This seems to conflict with the ones who he seems to have problems with, like Glurg and Tellurian. Who, have self-admittedly, gone through many newbods on their way to a record in the number of deaths they are directly responsible for. Why do certain people feel the need for causing other players' deaths? It is one thing if a player has learned enough of the game to know better, or defend themselves, but when some people try to help newbods, then the same newbods think most everyone is going to be helpful. SUCKERS! Obviously, this is a falsehood. Giving newbods the TDX to drop is NOT a help because all it does it cause them to die. What a way to learn the game . As for other arguments of the game that seem to cause trouble? Well, let's look. As said, there are NO rules in Fed. Only self-policing. So, does that mean that just because I am friends with someone, I should tell them the next puzzle? Or, because I am a duke, I should give them the GM puzzle so that I can have another planet? With no rules, this is ok to do, but it can cause adversity amongst players. The same goes for hiding objects needed, or monopolizing them by not allowing them to recycle. It is also ok, in the game coding, to cause someone to go Dead-Dead . The key thing though is that FED is supposed to be a game and fun, so why not let people play and stop adversely affecting others. If people want to play in a group and role-play real life events and take out their frustrations, then let them, but they don't need to take it out on others. One last thing. This is being printed in the 'Official FedNews', but there are 2 new sources of Fed. I am a tabdroid for the Underfed, "The other one" So, why then am I writing this here? Well, I am sick of the fighting that certain people feel they must be involved in, and have heard over and over how the UnderFed is just full of visciousness and lies. As a reader of both, I would like to tell you that is not true. Everything to my knowledge that has EVER been printed in UnderFed has been seen/heard online. If it seems one-sided, that is probably true, as the FedNews has also taken on that tone, in recent months, for a certain 'group', and the UnderFed is trying to be an 'alternate news source'! And, as Hazed herself has said, often times what is written here in the Fednews is just made up so as to cause interest in the game. Regrettably, this letter, and the actions that drove its writing, are not a myth, but are cold, hard, facts. To end this, I thank yoo for you time, apologize for the length, and leave you with this: Tonight, TWO people approached Bochiman wanting to talk and try to smooth over the murky waters of Fed. He talked to both of them as long as they wanted. When it was over, one person admitted he probably wouldn't change but, did understand Bochiman a little better. The other person also walked away understanding a little better, and through her own resolve, managed to sort out a misunderstanding that she was able to convey to at least one other person. Hopefully, these 4 people will take this understanding of the other side, and make Fed a better place to be in. Sign me.......... I.P. Freely **>> THE GREAT LUNCHEON VOUCHER CAPER It was a normal day in Fed II . . . people were adjusting to the GnabGib, people were hanging out at Sam's and CD's . . . then, it happened. Trader Ryan sent across the com-link that he would pay people under Trader rank if they'd bring him the Luncheon Voucher. No one paid \him any heed, until he asked a second time. And then a third. And then a fourth. And a fifth. Soon he started asking for the opal. Then in all capital letters! Finally, people couldn't take it anymore. People were offering rewards if they would turn Ryan's com off. One person warned Ryan that if he went into outer\ space, he'd get fried. And then came the most amusing com message of all. "Oh, Ryan," Tantras called across the com nets. "I have the LV *and* the opal. Bring your checkbook to CD's." Within minutes, the majority of players were in CD's, ready to watch Ryan beg for the items! When Ryan finally did enter, he was wearing dark glasses, a walking stick, and a cup. "I'm poor," he moaned. The auction began! Ryan, Tim, and Abdulah all offered money; Tellurian and Glurg offered sheep, Nemesis, Tellurian's ship, and even Occy. In the end, Tantras stopped the bidding for the LV, and announced that he had received a private bid. From who? Why, none other than Diesel! Tantras and Diesel headed off to the Mare's Nest for a wild, passionate encounter; all the while, Tellurian and Glurg laughed themselves silly. When Tantras finally returned (bringing the comatose Diesel back with him), the auction for the opal began. When Ryan placed a bid worth more groats than existed in the game, Tantras declared the auction to be null and void, and gave the opal to the just-recovering Diesel. As Tantras returned, Glurg made sure that Ryan understood the moral of the story--if you keep begging for an item over and over again on the com link, you'll live to regret it! Then comes the other side of the coin. Could it be that Ryan is also none other than Gregan? This could very well be, for revenge can be sweet. Gregan, to much of the annoyance of most of Fed, sat on the coin for two hours. Two hours is plenty of time for the coin to regenerate four times. What a waste. Tantras offered a reward of 100k for Gregan's death. Many people supported this cause by adding there own two groats worth to the reward. Gregan held his ground and held the coin, even through the thick of the comms. Only a very select few stood up for Gregan holding the coin for two hours, even after Gregan stated he would not be back in the game after the freeweekend. One of these defenders of sitting on an object was Akiko, Industrialist of Mirai. **>> KRYSTAL ABOUT SOL Happy Free Weekend, Darlings! It's me, and I have all the hot scoops about what's been happening this past week. I hope you all enjoy this batch as thoroughly as you enjoyed last week's. My first juicy bit deals with that reputed Stud-of-Studs, Altasren the Elf. Having been taken aback by the reports of his impotence, which, when combined with several other concerns in his life had led to a dark depression, he saw no recourse but to finally end his immortal life. He was seen several nights running, hovering as a spectral form inside my dear friend Samantha's place (got the holos back, Sam -- you and Godot are too wild!). Well, surely there had to be -*-some-*- way to save him, before the 49 days he talked about ran out. And there was! A certain lady with an affectation for blue seems to have struck up a relationship with him, and sorcerous workings were seen last night -- were they trying to resurrect him? Stay tuned, as I'm sure this is one saga that won't end soon! Alt was also seen having a rendevous with a fairly new Captain who goes by the name of Talisan. Not too bad for a spectre, if you ask me! Another night saw a newbod by the name of Feralis doing all he could to get involved in an orgy with Blackadder, Mosquito, and a third, unnamed female. Much to his chagrin, the three went off to the Mare's Nest for a wild time, leaving him chewing on ice cubes. Ciaran's stag party started off 3 nights ago with a bang. Several men, including Alexander, Corvette, Telidon and the aforementioned spectre, Alt, were lounging about Sams, waiting for the groom to show. After a bit of a delay, Ciaran finally showed up, and the drinking began! As people started asking where the girl in the cake was, in wheels this -*-huge-*- cake...and who springs out, but Gypsyrose! A more fitting name for a stripper may exist, but I've not seen it! Things took a turn to the tragic, though, when Carnya entered the bar. See the obituaries below, for more details. Friday night saw a surprise birthday party for Freya at the Wet Bar on Seenmaerd. Among the many gifts she got, were a set of handcuffs from Mosquito, rhinestone studded knee-pads from Tellurian, a blow up doll with body hair from Gemini, a pillow from the Godfather, a mutant creature from the Transuranic rooms on Titan from Glurg, and a black leather executioner's mask from Paladin! Oxcart also stopped by and gave Freya his fifth-born (Glurg's already eaten the first four - he thought this might stop Glurg's appetite), and Crashcorr gave Freya a small copper lamp with a GEnie in it! The big event Saturday night was the wedding of Merchant Tim to Captain Kathy. After having just made aquaintances, they scurried off for a romantic clinch that must have shook the Earth, because next thing I knew, he was asking where they could get married. Tellurian offered to do the ceremony in the church on the Moon, and within a short amount of time, about 20 people were crammed into the little chapel. I popped in to give them my best wishes, but had to run off quickly, as there was so much news to track down! After a brief, but beautiful ceremony, the couple sped off for their sure-to-be-steamy honeymoon. I wish them all the happiness in the Galaxy! Well, that's all for this week, darlings! Remember, if you're out in the open, odds are you're being watched by me! Kisses, Krystal **>> AURASCOPES Aries (Mar 21-Apr 17) You will fall into some water and make a big splash about it. Like (Apr 18-22) Try as you may, you will not be able to pick the fubar up this week. Try next week. Taurus (Apr 22-May 20) Hold off on any investments for a few days. You may be loosing a few groats. Gemini (May 21-June 20) You will recover that which you have lost. Wedding arrangements should be made soon - stop holding off. Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22) Leo (Jul 23-Aug 20) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Push any brown buttons you may find. Love (Aug 21-Aug 25) Your sign is not what you are getting. However, you will have at least one lustful activity in the near future. Virgo (Aug 26-Sep 22) Things continue to look up for you. Don't fall into any blackholes. Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) A bored senator will ask you to do something strange. Just ignore him and hope he goes away soon. Then again... Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will reach the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. If you become Emperor, chances are you will be assassinated. Sagittarius (Nov 21-Dec 19) Many people will soon be asking you for groats. This angers you and you will go after two people that haven't asked you for groats. Lust (Dec 20-Dec 21) Trade is declining because you can't stay out of other people's affairs. Hate (Dec 22-Dec 23) You will become an addict of something you love. Withdrawals will be hard to face. Capricorn (Dec 24-Jan 19) A planet owner will try to sway you with lust. Check your computer for a virus. Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) There will be someone entering your life that wears a fedora. You will be tickled at this. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) Someone will offer you a massive amount of groats with a certain price attached. It will be a hard decision. **>> DEAR SAMANTHA I have trouble keeping my tail from getting cold in the winter. What should I do? - Frost, Bitten Tail Dear Fridged Tale, Learn to cover your ascii. Or expose it. Okay Samantha, If a newbod persists in being overly questioning, can I target him/her? -Questionable Dear Quest, Tell them to mind their own business. I mean really, some questions are just too personal (Unless you show them. Then, of course, I recommend my bar.) Sam - Do you know what we mean when we say that the Nurse is an NPC? -PC Support PC, Needle Puncturing Cellulite Dear Samantha, When can I have my box of x-rated Crayolas back? -Scribbles Scribbles, As soon as you can learn to draw inside the ties. Dear Samnatha: I hav ethis porblem with sheep. Y'see, they keep flolowing me around, fro mplant to planet. How can I get ridof tjem? -Sheerness Dear Sheer, Get rid of them...sheep are a big commod. Ever think of going into business for yourself? Dear Sam, Just who is this Narcicissus and what is he doing on Fed?' -Me Dear Me, He's just this...guy, see? But he is alive and doing well! **>> OBITUARIES DEAD: Galimos, The Dread Pirate, went dead-dead this past week in the Sol system, much to the sorrow of those who knew him best. Known far and wide as the most despised being in Fed (Cryptosporidium not included) for his antics of killing newbods, tossing disgusting items, and for having a general lack of manners and patience, it came as a surprise to many when he came on and announced his intent of suicide. Galimos never endeared himself to many people. In his prime, he delighted in finding new and interesting ways to kill people. It was not uncommon for him to appear, his first words being, "Good evening. Who wishes to die?" Yet, his unflagging loyalty to those he called friend was something rarely seen in Fed. Those who knew him spoke of a heart of gold, and of a willingness to do whatever was needed in any given situation. In recent months, he had changed his ways, and was one of the most vocal opponents of the recent Ocean/Hell war. Refusing to take sides, he made it be known that the twin lasers of the Mestiras stood poised to strike out at anyone who preyed on unsuspecting lower ranks. But something had changed inside Galimos. He grew increasingly weary, and as a result, reclusive. What his thoughts were, no one truly knows for sure (or they're not talking). So when he walked into CDs this past week, it was with sadness that his friends greeted him, as they knew he had come to end his life. After a small gathering with his friends, he pulled out his trusty Arix knife, checked it's edge, and whispered, "Here it goes." He was gone. Galimos left no estate, having dispersed his funs in recent weeks among a number of people. His ship, the Mestiras, was decommissioned and sold off for scrap to the Bandersnatch Refuse Co., Selena, Sol. (NOT run by the Godfather, according to sources). He left behind several grieving friends, and his wife, Carnya. DEAD: Carnya, wife of the late Galimos. Also suicide, upon hearing the news of her husband's death, on Nemesis. Carnya was a delightful, gentle-souled red-head who had made many of the men in Fed desire her. So it came as a surprise, when she ended up marrying the hated Galimos. She was the beauty who calmed his beast. Her cheerful disposition brought about many radical changes in Galimos, and brought a smile to the faces of many Fedders. It was regrettable, then, that she was forced to learn of her husband's death when she appeared at Ciaran's stag party. Her heart broken over the loss of her beloved teddy bear, she quietly slipped off to Nemesis, where she made Tellurian (an old friend of both she and Galimos) executor of her estate. He holds very explicit instructions as to the dispersal of the funds...all 110 meg. He was sworn to not reveal these details, until such a time that it was deemed appropriate. She then walked in the cool Autumn night on Nemesis, leaning on both Tellurian and Ciaran (who had left his own stag party to see to her comfort) as great sobs wracked her body. Coming upon a moonlit glade, she fell to her knees, crying, 'I cannot live without my Galimos!' Her desire to live fled her, and she died there, in the glade that has brought so much peace to those who know of it. Tellurian and Ciaran quietly carried her body back to the cathedral, and have made plans to bury her on Nemesis, which was a planet she was known to have loved. She leaves behind no family, but many saddened friends. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test. A new version of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation will be available Real Soon Now! Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS