**>> SPYNET BULLETIN
 **>> EARTHDATE 93.12.05
 **>> A GemTell & Asciisociates Publication, for H-by-A

 **>> Compiled by Gemini & Tellurian plus a team of specialist newsdroids
 **>> <SEND GEMINI> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! (Honest!)

 **>> A BRIEF WORD FROM THE PROXY EDITOR (AND COPY BOY)

As you all know, Hazed's mum passed on this past Tuesday evening after a long
illness.  In preparation for this, she had asked Gemini a few weeks ago if
she would take on the chore of publishing the weekly news in her absence.
Any stories, rumours, jokes, etc that you would like to see in the news,
please sendmail Gemini, or catch her in the game.  Tell is helping out as
copy boy, and ad-director (we want personal ads!).

Several people have inquired as to where flowers could be sent, and Hazed
would prefer that donations be made to a US-based Cancer charity, in the name
of Jenny Craig.  We at GemTell & Asciisociates extend our sorrow and
condolences to Hazed, and look for her return to active duty as soon as it
is feasible.


 **>> CONSTRUCTION WORKERS REACH TENTATIVE ACCORD

A spokesdroid for Bella held a press conference this morning at the Federation
Partnership offices.  Amidst the usual green chili vodkas that the green,
big-arsed one is fond of serving, it was reported that Bella is contemplating
changing the way base equipment building works.  When queried as to what would 
change, the spokesdroid smiled mysteriously, and said, 'No comment.  All I can
say is that if it does change, it will be this week.'  Senators and Dukes are
advised to stay on their toes.


 **>>DEATH RECORDS AND BREAKING THEM

Is it true, did Destiny d-d =again=?  Death records are continuing to be
broken throughout Federation Data Space.  Freya and Menace hold the record for
dying at a high rank.  Destiny now holds the record for having died twice as a
high ranker.  Is it for the joy of holding this record, or is there a link
between he and Amber?

Null takes a grand victory for dying d-d five times in the course of one hour
and truly living up to his name.  He's died more times this weekend than anyone
in recent memory.

Amber, the sorrow-filled elf, has committed suicide for the last time. Krystal
has been watching her for some time.  Her reports indicate that Amber was truly
in love with someone other than Altasren. Seeing that Altasren is now impotent,
Amber did not waste her time in dying when her true love passed from this
galaxy.  Newsdroids are still trying to find out who her true love was.
All Amber said before she bit the bigger one was, 'Tis my destiny.....'


 **>> KRYSTAL ABOUT SOL

Well!  What a busy week this has been!  I've been scouring the Sol system,
my spybeam ever at the ready.  Now, I've never been one to get surprised, but
who would have thought that a certain Squire would take up with a certain
female of the feline persuasion?  Yes, darlings, it's true!  Neuromancer and
Tabby steamed up the spybeams the recently on Paradigm, conjuring memories
of a certain holo-vid named 'Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down'!  After revealing that
she had this...shall we say, fetish?...about feet, Neuromancer proceeded
to do some very interesting things!  But the best was yet to come, darlings!
Much to our voyeuristic pleasure, Neuromancer pushed a button, which lowered
a full set of restraining gear!  I'll leave it to your demented little minds
as to what happened from there.  The parting words that night mentioned a
possible repeat performance in the near future...and Tabby's tail was alluded
to...

The next few nights found one of Fed's highest ranking players giving a lowly
captain some stern lessons in discipline.  I just happened to be walking up
the main road on Mars, when I heard some chatter on the comms about something
happening in Chez Diesel.  Now, Diesel and I go way back, and I always thought
she ran an enjoyable bar, with the Executive Services always being delightful.
So I scurried into the bar, and what do I find?  Freya, decked out in leather,
"breaking" a puppy in!  The pup in question was Underwood, who definitely
seemed to be in need of some training.  It was a delight to hear the word
'cur' used in the appropriate manner.  I smiled as I watched the pup strain
at his leash, begging the cool Freya to continue.  When Freya grew bored of
this sport, she passed the leash to Gemini, who then passed it on to
Neuromancer.  By night's end, the pup was ready to do whatever Mistress Freya 
desired!  This continued a few nights later, much to the interest and delight
of anyone with a spybeam.

Well, that's all for this week, darlings!  Remember, if you're out in the
open, odds are you're being watched by me!

                               Kisses,
                                 Krystal


 **>> AURASCOPES

Aries (Mar 21-Apr 17)  You are close to what you persue, but it continues to
elude you.  You may find it hard to find the GM, LV or to pick up the fubar,
but persistence may pay off.

Like (Apr 18-22) Now is the time to stop being passive.  Try a different
suffix.  Those that apply "ture" will find they will soon be fenced in.
It is time for action.

Taurus (Apr 22-May 20) There will be a free weekend in your future.  Because
you are stubborn, you will find yourself endlessly trying to get into the game
when it is full.  Plot your timing.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) Moving through your exchanges has been difficult.
You try and try but your efforts will bring on many crashes, and if you are a
planet owner, you might blow up your planet.

Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22) Your perspective is being blown way out of proportion.
"Don't forget the little people" might be what your saying, but you are feeling
just a little too exalted.  Beware, you might accidentally go d-d.  Then where
would your ego be?

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 20) Too much time is being spent prowling through bars.
If you practice, you could become good at your TL's.  But remember, there
are no FWI's in Fed.  Take a drink for the Hy-Links.

Love (Aug 21-Aug 25) Being a Love sign at this time of year, you find things
are not as warm as you would have them.  Stay away from the sun, TDX, Flamin,
and Titan, unless you have something wet, like whoosh.

Virgo (Aug 26-Sep 22) You seem to be the master-mastereusse of trade.
Promotion looks close if you work hard.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) You will get lost in two mazes and not have any maps or
can't find them.  Any questions that you have =at all= should be directed to
Freya.  She will have an answer.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) If you find yourself on a shuttle, it is in your best
interest to say that you are there on open comms.  If you do not, people will
suddenly start to get jumpy around you and demand for a cigarette.

Sagittarius (Nov 21-Dec 19) Many people will be around to help celebrate your
birthday.  Continue the social aspect of your life.  Be careful to not
scrollback as you may miss something or see something you shouldn't have.

Lust (Dec 20-Dec 21) Trade is going great.  Stop spying so much.

Hate (Dec 22-Dec 23) Close to your element, you find yourself hating what you
love so much because you can't seem to pull away.  You keep coming back for
more.  Like chocolate.  A knight will symbolize this.

Capricorn (Dec 24-Jan 19) There will be a Merchant entering your life soon.

Aguarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) You will finally crack a code that you have been
working on.  You will also say a pun and everyone will groan.

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) You will laugh at great lengths all this week. Even at
an Aquarius's pun.  Someone will give you a friendly tickle.


 **>> TRAVEL

As with every holiday season, travel becomes even more difficult. If it isn't
losing your way going over a river and through the snow, it is trying to book
flight reservations.  The newsdroid assigned to this story had a hard time
getting into OAC, the most recent planet in Federation Data Space.  After many
arguments with ticketers that didn't know what was going on, the newsdroid was
finally put through to Emmi, the Squire of OAC, and a special passage was made.
Having problems with the airline even before leaving, the newsdroid made it a
point of losing its portmanteau before departing from the office.  Luckily, for
there was a freighter frantically looking for a lost box.

Because of the conditions, flights have been delayed.  People on a visit have
been able to get through.  Those trying to approach OAC on business have found
their flight canceled or delayed. The newsdroid found this understandable until
a closer look was taken.  Offices to many of the Barons, Dukes, and
Senators are accessible without going through customs, people with teleporters
ARE being allowed to trade, and steel workers seen picketing around the
exchange indicate that there is more going on.  Local news channels are filled
with stories of the problems that have been encountered.  The OAC DA has been
working overtime, seeking to serve suit against several of the architectural
firms that were hired for the grand opening.

Once there, OAC is a splendid place to hold parties, conferences, or liaisons.
There are plenty of hotels and rooms for overnight adventures.  Before you
leave, be sure to pick up a little something for the S.O. from one of the many
wonderful shops at the airport.   The beet ice cream is absolutely worth every
groat!


 **>> DEAR SAMANTHA

Dear Samantha,
I have been approached by a very important lady, who wants to take me
under her wing and show me how to make money.  But I think she will
want something in return for her kindness.  What should I do?
                               -Handsum Undertable
Handsum Over,
Take da groats, Joey.  Take da groats.  Then see me.

Dear Samantha... 
Whenever I  make love to one of my many paramours, I find myself
drowning in the deep limpid pools of their eyes, and becoming lost in
passion as the waves crash over me. Where can I get a better
script-writer?'
                                ...Deeply Insaturated
Dear Deeply,
First you need to know which style you would like to
have.  Doggie...err....Kitty.  You do this by buying a spybeam and
watching all the different styles of "endearment".  If you can not
afford one, I offer a big screen at my bar.  Have you considered
macros instead of scripts?

Dear Samantha,
I would really like to have a baby, but my boyfriend isn't so
keen.  I've told him that it wouldn't be at all inconvenient - the
pregnancy will only last a few days, and we can abandon the baby if
we get sick of the idea...but he still isn't keen. How can I persuade
him to let me fulfill my dreams of motherhood?
                                -Sick a new angle
Dear Sickness,
All you have to do is reverse your line of thinking....have
morning sickness first and see if you like it for a while.  You
could always abandon the idea if you get sick of it.  Or buy
him a few drinks at my bar.  It is open 24 hours a day.

Dear Samantha,
My girlfriend suggested we paint the ceiling beige.  What do
you think?
                        Likes Beige
Beige,
Are you for real?  Hey listen guy, I will buy ya a drink and show
you paisley prints on a beige wall!  Sounds like if it was left up
to you I would have to paint them there to keep me occupied.  Go
read a manual or something instead of asking me questions like this.


 **>> CLASSIFIEDS

WANTED:  Arts on Roissy.  Available on Valaria, where Lanz are needed,
which are available on Roissy.  Excellent trade route.
WANTED: Ausland needs Mechs and Furs!
WANTED: Canna has is buying Alloys, Mechs and Cont.
ATTENTION TRADERS: Athens needs the following commodities:
       BIO, TOOLS, WEA, DROIDS, GEN, LANZ
WANTED: Oasis will buy Xmet and GAs.
WANTED: Valcanya will purchase Cereals, Meat, Lubs, Synths and Hypnos.
WANTED: Nemesis will eat up all the alloys you can ship!
WANTED: OAC is seeking companies looking for a new market to invest in.
Contact Emmi by sendmail, or see her in the game.
OAC is seeking companies looking for a new market to invest in.
Contact Emmi by sendmail, or see her in the game.
SURPLUS!  Nitros on Roissy, all you can haul!  Rock bottom prices! OCCASIONAL
NEED for Alloys on Roissy, check for buying price\. FOR SALE: Ausland is
selling everything but Mechs and Furs!
FOR SALE: Canna sells Bio, Mas, Hypnos, GAs, Mun, Kats, Vidi, Unis.
FOR SALE: Athens has available for purchase:
       STOCK, HIDES, TEX, RADS, SOYA, XMET, MONOS

Adventure call to you!  Explore Athens and become a hero.
A reward for each ranks awaits.

               Send inquiries to Amigan, Squire of Athens

Planetary Construction School

Amigan, Squire of Athens, Winner of the coveted Walrus of Merit,
is accepting applications from future planet owners who have
completed the awesome Guild Master Puzzle for a planet construction
school.  The class will consist of reading materials, a guided tour
of Athens and will be followed by a question and answer period.
Class will be held this coming Saturday.  A time has yet to be
selected.

Send mail or inquire directly to Amigan for further details.


 **>> CONTACTS

The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so
you don't have to read it if you already know it.

In the event of a problem or question, you can:

 * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game

 * <SEND> a message to Hazed or Bella

 * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu
A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can
download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main
Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test.

A new version of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation will be
available Real Soon Now!

Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions).
The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29).
There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell
(Mail ID: K.HILLYER).

The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5.
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives.

 **>> BULLETIN ENDS