**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 93.10.24 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> TWO SHOCK STORIES! This week, the news will be dominated by the major story: the outbreak of war between two factions, headed by Dukes Niun and Bochiman. But first, we'll get all the other stories out of the way... **>> HOW THE MIGHTY ARE FALLEN Fed Data Space was rocked by the news on Friday that Senator Freya had died dead-dead! Her mysterious death provoked an uproar and demands for an investigation into the circumstances. Rumours as to the cause of her death have been numerous. The actual facts are clear: she was fighting with Tellurian in Arena space, and forgot to re-insure after he killed her. But why were the two fighting? Was she really so forgetful, or is there something more sinister at work here? Rumour #1 is that Freya and Tellurian were fighting over the right to Hazed's favours. While we agree that Hazed is certainly worth fighting for, it really isn't necessary since the demi-Goddess has more than enough to go around and doesn't believe in restricting herself to one person (or twenty people, for that matter!), her motto being "share and share alike". Rumour #2 is that Glurg and Tellurian are plotting a coup d'etat, intending to take over the running of Fed Data Space. Having taken out Freya, their next target is Hazed and after that Bella! Rumour #3 is that the Galactic Administration themselves removed Freya because they were afraid of her growing influence with the criminal underworld - in particular because of her relationship with the Godfather. Rumour #4 is that she suicided, intending to spend a year dead for tax reasons. But a little undercover investigation has revealed a much more sinister chain of events, which involve this very organ! You may remember that over the past few weeks we ran stories questioning the fact that Freya had been consorting with other men, and speculating that her relationship with the Godfather was over. We really should have known better than to antagonise such a dangerous man... so incensed was the Godfather by our lies (or so he thought) that he sent his thugs, headed by Mario, to trash the H-by-A offices! While turning the place over, Mario found the file containing our notes on the story - and saw from the evidence that the story was not lies. Freya had in fact been having affairs with several prominent Fedders. Revenge is a dish best eaten cold, and the Godfather planned carefully how to teach his lady a lesson she would never forget. First he persuaded Tellurian that Freya wanted to take fighting lessons from him, telling him to wait in Arena Space for Freya to come; then he sabotaged the insurance computer on Arena space so her re-insurance would be rejected; finally he sent her on an errand to Arena Space, telling her she had to try to kill whoever she found there, and keep trying until she succeeded. Result: Freya dead-dead, and Tellurian left holding the smoking gun, with the finger of blame pointing right at him. Hazed is now in hiding for fear of her life. She knows the Godfather will be coming after her next because even though the stories were true, he still didn't like seeing his name dragged through the mud. She has asked for Sanctuary from the Church of St. Pegasus, and is cowering under a pew in the Cathedral on Nemesis. Her only hope is that the Godfather gets so involved in making money from the forthcoming war that he forgets all about her! Bella is refusing to re-instate Freya, as she has always refused for any players who die dead-dead (even Hazed, in a previous incarnation, had to work her way back up the ranks when she became the first high-ranking player to kill herself by accident). Besides, even Bella doesn't want to fall foul of the Godfather! Freya is making her way back up the ranks: at the time of writing, she had started the JP puzzle. She is, obviously, getting a lot of help from her friends, and we don't think it will take her long to regain her lost rank. **>> DUKE FOR A DAY Bella has decided that she is going to bar "internal" players from holding the rank of Duke or Duchesse, given the increasing strategic importance of that rank. She had announced previously that they would not be able to stand for election to Emperor. In future, when an "internal" solves the Duke puzzle, they will become a Duke as normal, pushing someone up to Senator. After a day to glory in their new power, it will be cruelly taken away from them - they will be moved up to Senator themselves, leaving a Duke slot free. **>> SLOWDOWNS AND CRASHES GEnie had a few very sticky days during the week, where the main system was crawling along like a tortoise on downers. However, since Fed is on a different cluster from the main GEnie system, the game was zipping along like greased lightning! The moral of the story is: don't assume that Fed will be unplayable just because GEnie has a bad case of the slowdowns - come and have a look. There have been a few unexplained crashes recently, and these continue to affect naval base builds. Bella is going to change the way build information is saved, to ensure that outstanding builds are not lost in the event of a crash, but in the meantime she has turned off the function that makes naval bases and their facilities deteriorate, to compensate for the losses. It will remain off until the middle of the week. Smuggling will be put back in the game tomorrow, much to the delight of a great many people! **>> RULE CHANGE FOR PLANET BUILDERS Bella is going to add a new rule for people building planets. She is going to insist that the Orbit, Landing Pad and Trading Exchange locations are numbered in the first six locations. This will make the transition from full to mini planet much easier, and prevent problems caused by changing location numbers. This rule does not affect those who are already in the process of building their planets - we don't want you to have to junk work you have already done. But future Explorers will be expected to abide by this rule. **>> ADVANCE WARNING - POSTAL STRIKE The Galactic Administration's postal workers are holding a day of action to protest their working conditions and pay. As part of their strike action, they will destroy all undelivered sendmail! A senior Spokesthing from the Galactic Postal Service denounced this wanton act of vandalism and destruction and stated the the Galactic Administration would "never give in to blackmail by hoodlums and rowdies". He then arrested all the ringleaders and took them away to be shot. Despite the removal of their leaders, the protest will take place on Monday November 1. Sometime during the day the entire sendmail file will be deleted. You are being given this advance warning so you can avoid sending important messages via sendmail unless you are sure the recipient will come into the game to receive them before next Monday. [Technical explanation: the file that holds sendmail is getting far too large, with mail waiting for players who no longer visit the game clogging things up badly. There is, unfortunately, no way for Bella to selectively delete part of the sendmail file. It is likely that she will have to do this every month, but we will ensure that advance warning is given each time.] **>> NEW WORLDS, NEW CIVILIZATIONS Over the last few weeks there has been a sprouting of new planets; and Hazed mini-vacation has meant they haven't been reported on properly. So here's a quick round-up of the four new worlds you can explore. Chainsaw's new planet is called Nautilus. Our newsdroid fell foul of a misleading signpost and plummeted to a nasty death at the bottom of a canyon, but when we retrieved its blackbox recordings we were able to see that Nautilus is a lush green planet, with some very spectacular scenery. Fast teleporter access to the exchange will make this world popular with traders. Nightstalker's world was next in. Nightfall, in the Warp system, gets this week's Walrus of Merit - it really is an excellent world. The planet, which unusually orbits a black hole, is home to Nightstalker's company Lighter- Than-Air Industries. Their remarkable range of faster-than-light dirigibles is very impressive, and could revolutionise interstellar travel. Domed areas offer a safe haven for endangered species of plants and animals, and afford hours of entertainment for visitors. The hotel boasts an opulent honeymoon suite which will be in great demand among the young lovers of Fed Data Space. The coffee offered in Nightstalker's office is delicious. And we were very amused and impressed by the interesting event in the hospital location. After exploring Nightfall, we were disappointed to find that Rand's planet Aiel only has 7 locations. Rand will find it very difficult to get the player-minutes he needs for promotion to Thane! Finally, Riccardo's planet Links was put back into the game. He used to be an Industrialist but went dead-dead; having climbed his way back to Explorer, his planet was resurrected and he was promoted to his previous rank. Links is, obviously, a mini-planet so doesn't offer tourists anything spectacular. Following our rave reviews of Maxwell's planet Dawn over the last few weeks, he has asked us to say that Noe was the first to solve his puzzle, and received 20 meg as a prize. Hawk also solved the puzzle, and even though he wasn't first Maxwell paid him 20 meg because he was the first non-planet owner. **>> A SPINE-CHILLING WEEKEND... Welcome to our nightmare... Halloween is the spookiest night of the year, a night when all manner of supernatural creatures stalk the land - even in a futuristic trading game! To celebrate this night of the living dead, Oxcart has written us a special planet. A haunted planet, with all manner of strange places and beings to terrify you out of your wits! Be sure to visit the rooftop cemetary, bathed in the light of the full moon, and prepare yourself for all your favorite horrors to inflict themselves upon you... The Halloween planet will be linked to Federation Data Space from dusk (6.00pm eastern) on Friday October 29 and will remain until sun-up (8.00am eastern) on Monday November 1. In space, no-one can hear you scream! **>> FUTURE EVENTS At last, you will soon get the chance to find out what those jolly nice H- by-A people did on their holiday, as the Fed UnCon planet is linked to the game for the weekend of November 12-15. Written by Krell, it will let those that were present at the meet in Los Angeles earlier this year relive those action-packed days, and allow those that couldn't attend to find out what they missed - and decide if they want to attend the next one! Freya is writing us a Thanksgiving planet for the weekend of November 25- 29. A few weeks ago we asked for volunteers to write a Christmas planet for us. We received two offers from players, and we decided to accept both offers and team the two together. Our first volunteer had some ideas we liked a lot, and he has a background in designing games which should be very useful. However, since he's just a Poor Person we were pleased that an experienced planet-writer volunteered, who will be able to help with the technical side of things. We look forward to seeing what the combined creativity of Blackadder and Tellurian comes up with. In the works are two joint promotions with other areas on GEnie. Lawson and Motormouth both hang out in the Home Improvements RT and have agreed to design us a Home Improvements planet (presumably where everything falls apart). We've volunteered Noe to help keep them on the right tracks. The Home Improvements RT is on page 1430, and topic 4 in category 1 talks about their plans for the planet. Anyone who wishes to contribute is more than welcome! Amber is writing us an education planet, as a joint-promotion with the Education RT on GEnie. And finally... the moment you have all been waiting for... for one day only, the planet Cabbage will be linked into the game on Thursday! This is the planet Hazed has written to be included in the new printed edition of the Idiot's Guide, so come and explore the depths of her twisted mind and see if you can spot any errors. **>> YOU'LL GET YOUR REWARD IN HELL Bochiman is continuing his campaign to reward people who still fly ships bought on the planet Hell before it went nova. He awarded Captain Frost a prize of 8.5 meg recently. Yes, we said 8.5 meg!! Looks like Captain Frost will have no money worries for quite some time. **>> WELCOME BACK, PUBLIC ENEMY #1 Last year there was one player that everyone agreed was the scum of the galaxy, most hated man, woman or thing in the universe, public enemy #1 - Blackmark! His name was uttered with fear or contempt (except by Hazed, who named him Sexiest Man in Fed, but then she's always had odd tastes!). Unable to face the scorn and humiliation that his reputation made him suffer, Explorer Blackmark disappeared - and last month, his persona was deleted from the file because he had been absent for too long. With a supreme act of bad timing, Blackmark reappeared last week, to find that not only had his persona vanished - so had his reputation! So caught up in their own concerns were the inhabitants of Fed Data Space that they had completely forgotten him and the foul deeds he perpetrated. He has swiftly re-established himself at his old rank, and expects his planet Sprawl to be put in very soon, but we think it will take him far longer to regain his infamy! **>> SHOCK SIGHTING! Fed Data Space was aghast recently when Elvis logged onto the game for a few minutes, and was spotted cooking burgers in the Starship Cantina. Sadly, Mojo was not present to witness the appearance of his hero. **>> PERVERSIONS It has long been known that Fed players are a perverted bunch, but what was behind the mass outbreak of wierdness last night we just don't know. People were hugging and kissing other people's ships! Things got ugly when players became upset that their ships where getting more attention that they were. **>> GOSSIP AND SCANDAL What with all this war stuff (patience, we'll get to that next...) we haven't got much room this week for gossip and scandal. There is just time to mention in passing that Hypatia is expecting Ramius' child. We should also squeeze in mention of Telidon and Gypsyrose's steamy session in the jacuzzi recently. Blackadder may have sworn off other women when he married Gypsyrose, but she certainly hasn't returned the favour! **>> WAR - WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? And now our main story tonight: the sporadic sniping between Duke Bochiman and his supporters on the one hand, and Duke Niun and his supporters on the other, that has been going on for several months in the game and the bulletin board, finally heated up when Niun declared war on the duchy of Hell. The full text of his declaration of war, and the responses to it from both sides, appear in the MPGames bulletin board on page 1045: Cat 14, Top 10. Msg 218 is the initial declaration. We urge all of you to read this topic. To paraphrase: Niun stated that he was tired of the backstabbing and slurs he and his friends experienced, and announced that as from 7.00pm eastern today (Sunday) the duchy of Ocean (and allies) would be at war with the duchy of Hell (and allies). We would like to express our appreciation to Niun for timing the start of the war so that the media could cover the preliminaries. Very considerate! We have appointed a full team of war correspondents and will be covering the conflict from all angles. However, we do need to receive propaganda from both sides in order to ensure that we see the whole picture. So far, Niun and his army have been very helpful in ensuring we have plenty of stories to print, but Bochiman's side has declined to give us any information at all. **>> GUNS OR BUTTER? War in Fed Data Space can take two forms: an economic, or trade war, and a shooting war. This war looks like being both - although it has to be said that so far, this has been a war of hot air rather than hot lasers. Meanwhile, Niun has said that the war will be prosecuted against those that support the duchy of Hell at all levels. One method his side will use is to shoot at all those that have ships registered on a planet on the opposing side. It is expected that Bochiman's side will retaliate in a similar fashion. When you buy a ship, it is registered on the planet where you bought it (ships bought on Earth are registered to Panama). You can check on the registry of your ship, and of others currently logged on, by typing . The relevance of where your ship is registered will become more apparent when Senators are able to vote for the Emperor - the more ships registered to a planet, the more votes it has to pass onto its Duke, and thence to a favoured Senator. Fed has always been a game of alliances, and from their first faltering steps as a GroundHog, players should be aware of this. At the moment, a ship's registration is a show of support - and with the outbreak of war, it has become important to think carefully about who you wish to give your support to. You cannot change the registry of an existing ship, you need to sell your ship and buy a new one on the planet for which you wish to show support. Members of both sides have stated that they will finance anyone who wishes to change their registration. For those who wish to remain firmly neutral, we suggest purchasing ships on Earth. Hazed will help anyone who cannot afford a new ship to re-register in Panama. We predict that there will actually be very little shooting outside of formal duels in Arena Space. Both sides will have an eye to propaganda, and neither will wish to be labelled as bullies by accidentally shooting up the wrong person. Remember, the media's spotlight will be on all players at all times. Our experts think that the trade war will be much more important than playing with lasers. When smuggling goes back into the game tomorrow, obviously both sides will be using sanctions, embargoes and other economic means to make the planets on the other side suffer. The winner of this aspect of the war will be the Duke who has the better grasp of planetary economies. We suspect that as the sanctions bite and shortages become apparent, planet-owners will secede from both sides rather than see their treasuries suffer. Perhaps we should mention that some players have suggested that the Galactic Administration should "kill everyone and let Bella sort them out!" **>> DUCHY V. DUCHY Possibly for the first time ever, it becomes vitally important to know which planet is in which Duchy! A check of the duchy display earlier today showed that there are no Independent worlds at all (except for Arena, and one wouldn't expect Ming to get involved in the disputes of petty mortals). On Niun's side is his duchy of Ocean, with seven planets: Dunnottar, Dahih, Nemesis, Source, Fremd, Paradigm and Dawn. Allied with him is Jim's Crime, with four worlds: Xixax, Insanity, Paradise and Links. Opposing them is Bochiman's Hell, with an impressive ten worlds: Starship, Valaria, Oasis, Roissy, Oppiz, Mirai, Rtyui, Nautilus, Warp and Aiel. He is allied with Menace's Xhit, with just one planet: Chaos. Remaining neutral is Krell's Gotham. The Senators are largely remaining aloof from the conflict. Occy is remaining neutral - surprisingly, given his previous associations with Bochiman. Glurg, as ever, is a loose cannon, likely to attack both sides just for the fun of it. Elex hasn't indicated a preference yet, so we assume he wishes to be neutral. On a very surprising note, Explorer Galimos, the bad boy of Fed, has stated that he will take no part at all in fighting for either side; instead he will help casualties repair and re-insure. There really must be something wrong with the water supply! **>> FASHION SPREAD We notice that many players are already dressing for war - our beloved Editrix, Hazed, has donned her kevlar and camoflage, ready to report from the front. We'd like to have a fashion spread in next week's news showing what the well-dressed soldier is wearing. If you'd like to feature in our feature, send us a capture of your ship, clothes and mood. We'll award a prize to the one that amuses us the most. **>> FROM OUR SPECIAL WAR CORRESPONDENT As I sit here, a stowaway in a warrior's ship, I can see blinding flashes of light as twin laser beams burst through space, rocking ships and exploding stashes of stored missiles. My momma done told me that the ugliest thing in the world was a woman with PMS, but war must be the second ugliest. I'm being continuously jarred back and forth as my unsuspecting carrier dodges attacks and launches counter-attacks of his own. I keep reminding myself of the large reward Hazed promised me for reporting from the front, so she wouldn't have to scorch her nail polish. I'm sure I'll be able to retire on me 20,000 groats she promised me. After all, she said that was quite a large sum of money, and she only relented and agreed to pay me that much after I pointed out the peril I'd be in. The hostilities heated up the other day, when Niun finally decided to take the alleged back-stabbing and slanderous remarks of Bochiman public. I was able to break into Niun's office, and after fumbling around in the dark for hours, I came up with naught. But the warring duke was kind enough to fill me in on sketchy details after he discovered my presence. He alleges that Bochiman has been spreading lies and half-truths about him. A recent post in the bulletin board indicates that some of Bochiman's intended victims of lies saw through his cover. The world of Federation is shook up by Niun's declaration of war, not only on Bochiman, but all of the duke's planet owners. As if this weren't enough, he has said that his allies would fire upon all ships flying under Hell flags. This was met with a chorus of uproar by the Hell planet owners. But afterall, when one nation declares war on another, doesn't it attack that nation's flagged ships? Since that announcement, many people have been madly scrambling to change their ships' registrations. Some are abandoning Hell; others, Ocean. Some, looking for a fight, have changed their registries TO one of the belligerent duchies. So far, no reports of hostilities between the two warring duchies have been confirmed. The war does not officially begin until 7 pm Sunday night, so unless they are provoked, the Ocean members have said they will not open fire until that time. Niun has further offered to call off ALL hostilities if Bochiman would own up to his slanderous remarks and apologize. Fed space is anxiously awaiting the events to come. Will we see a simple apology, or a full-scale bloody war, pitting brother against brother, sister against sister, and droid against droid? Philip M. Offe **>> WAR HEROINE! This news-droid bears witness to a fearfull event where our charming Demi-goddess, Darling(tm) Hazed, was accidentally attacked by malfuctioning equipment used by persons, whom are considered innocent and shall remain un-named at this time. The story starts in a quiet drinking establishment, with talks of the impending war being central to the discussion. The two persons - let's call them Mr G and Mr T to keep their true identities hidden - proposed to Hazed that she should set a brave and heroic example for the home team and be filmed at the front line during the upcoming war. This struck a chord in our Hazed and she was either blinded by her own personal glory or the possibility of getting even more sex than she currently gets as a pin-up girl for the war; so much so that she did not notice that her camera-droids had been altered, not to shoot film, but rather live ammo. Mr G amd Mr T offered to have these droids attached to their ships so that they could get holo films of Hazed, the forces sweetheart, flying bravely through the front lines. Due to Hazed's current reliance on her transporter, she had a hard time remembering where her ship was parked and even had trouble remembering how to fly it, but with much assurance from everyone present and a few stiff drinks, she managed to remember enough to take off. A question was asked, "Is Hazed really so gullible as to fly alone with these two men?" and the answer is resounding "YES, SHE IS!" Hazed was oblivious to all dangers because of her own desires. With the stage set and cameras shooting, literally, Hazed entered Arena space and was promptly dispatched to kingdom come. Luckily she was insured. Upon inquiry afterwards, Mr G and Mr T said that the camera-droids had malfunctioned and suggested that another attempt be made with new camera-droids. Amazingly, our brave and fearless Hazed agreed to this proposal! The second filming attempt followed in the same manner as the first with Hazed being sent to the Hospital for re-cloning. This time Mr G and Mr T suggested that the camera-droids had been sabotaged by none other than Senator Bochiman in an attempt to squelch the media from covering the upcoming war. To everyone's amazement, Hazed suggested that a third attempt be made to get the holo-filming done. The third attempt was made with Mr T waiting at the link for Hazed to appear and Senator T shooting, (filming?) from behind. This time an apparent malfunction in Hazed's ship causes her battle computer to target and destroy Mr T's ship before another malfunctioning camera-droid in Senator G's ship wiped out Hazed's for the third time. No explainations were made for the malfunctions but in all Hazed was quite lucky to be still with us as a Senator. A wild rumor implied that this was a pre-meditated attempt at the life of our Darling Hazed and was somehow related to the 'accident' which befell the lovely Freya, but no merit is given to this due to the nature it was received. Another rumor is circulating around that Hazed is seeing a shrink about a sudden fear of cameras, again this is yet to be proved. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Well, here's the bumper two-week round-up of promotions we promised you last week. The new Captains were Scycon, Katlinn, Ajax, Talisan, Grump, Baobab, Hawk, Nanomatter, Azarian, ugg, Pokerman, Mcbain (back from the dead), Fletcher, Jr, Ilujna, Byterunner, Shagrat, Blackmark (back from the deleted), Slant, Mosquito, Tantras, Tabby (back from the dead), Freya (ditto), Omicron, Mj, Flipper and Jackson. The Adventurers and -euses were Emirikol, Hawk, Jr, Mcbain, Grundy, Alexander, Blackmark, Shagrat, Motormouth, Crashcorr, Tabby and Freya. Fletcher, Caesar, Blackmark and Freya joined the Traders Guild. Those attaining Merchantdom were Justy, Flick, Blackmark, Hawk and Freya. Azure, Semaphore, Sharp and Blackmark solved the awesome JP puzzle. Hypatia, Riccardo and Blackmark became GMs. Amber is now an Explorer. Rand is the new Squire of Aiel. Riccardo became a Squire, Thane and Industrialist all in the space of a few minutes when his old planet re-appeared. Marcia was promoted to Industrialist. Four new companies have been formed: Lighter-Than Air Industries by Nightstaker; Sneezy's Little Snots by Sneezy (charming!), Epstein Inc. by Flick, and Blackmark et Industries by guess who. Apart from Freya's tragic and mysterious death, Journeywoman Tabby managed to top herself for reasons unknown. She's climbing the ranks again now, last seen hunting frantically for the Grand Master. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test. You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be available shortly - and this time we really mean it!) Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS