**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 93.05.02 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> PLODDING ALONG Bella is making steady progress with her rewrites. She's finished the overhaul of the jobbing and trading parts of the code, and is now doing well with the factory and company data. After that, she'll turn her attention to planets and duchies. One of the new features you will have as a result of her overhaul is the ability to rearrange the contents of a warehouse, so that the empty bays are all at the top end. Bella was going to make the command to do this until Hazed pointed out the confusion that would arise due to cultural spelling differences: is it spelt with a Z or an S? Given Bella's record, she would probably want to spell it with a TI anyway! Hazed suggested the command be , and that's what it will be. **>> MAY RTCs This month, Krell will be running RTCs on Sunday May 9 and Sunday May 30. We don't think subjects have been confirmed yet, but it is likely that the one on the 30th will be a Beginner's RTC. Watch the electronic bar boards for more details. **>> OOPS! Alas poor Noe, we knew her Horatio. [Who's this Horatio person? What does he have to do with it? ED] [It's a literary allusion. You know, culture! NEWSDROIDS] [Culture? Culture? What do you think this is, an intelligent arty-farty news service? Cut out the literature and stick to scandal! ED] [Philistine! NEWSDROID] Fed Data Space was rocked by the tragic news that beautiful young Noe had died dead-dead while attempted the GM puzzle. Her brain was concentrating so hard on the riddle of the asteroid Snark, that none of her braincells were left to remind her to re-insure after she died. She leaves behind a grieving fiance, Tellurian, who was far too upset to talk to our newsdroids. Latest news is that plucky little Noe has restarted and intends to regain her lost position. Let's hope soon-to-be-hubby Tellurian will protect her this time! **>> TECHNO-FEAR! It's amazing the trouble you can get into when you try to help someone. Poor Hans was just doing his best to smooth the path into Fed for a new player, and he ends up with two Very Rich People on his back! The newbod in question was Becky, a friendly soul who was grateful for the assistance, but a little slow on the uptake as far as operating technical equipment goes. Being an attractive female, Becky found herself the centre of attention. After Hans got her going and helped her buy her first ship, Occy showed up and started making "funny suggestions" to Becky. Of course, bearing in mind the way Occy types, he could have been making perfectly innocent conversation: who could tell the difference? Hans and Destiny both suggested that Becky would be better off staying away from Occy. Next day, Destiny decided to give Becky a diamond. Very generous! Unfortunately the poor girl turned out to be pretty but dim, and she took the gift as an offer of marriage! This rather dismayed Destiny, who still yearns for his lost love, Jade. Next to try to take advantage of the poor innocent was Menace, who wouldn't stop groping her. Noe and Destiny told Hans he'd better come and protect Becky before things got out of hand. No sooner had Hans chased Menace away, than Occy started trying it on again! Then, to make matters worse, Glurg popped up and offered to give Becky a tour of Jupiter - and we all know what that's a euphamism for. By this time, Becky was quite confused, so she turned to the first person who had shown her a scrap of kindness: Hans. He advised her, via tightbeam, that she shouldn't have anything to do with Glurg or Occy. In fact, he told her that Occy was a pervert and Glurg was mean! This is where the techno-fear comes in. Being a little shaky on the theory of communications, she replied over the open comm, repeating what he had told her. Occy and Glurg were not happy about this slur on their characters! Glurg instantly pointed his twin lasers in Hans' direction. In fact, Glurg had a previous grievance with Hans, so this new outrage simply reinforced his determination to punish Hans. Apparently, Glurg gave Hans the money to buy a new ship, with the proviso that he should not buy any weapons until he became a Merchant. Hans agreed at the time, but soon broke the agreement; hence Glurg's displeasure. Meanwhile, Becky was completely unaware of the trouble she had caused, and she continued to use her comm unit to broadcast private messages so everyone could hear. Poor darling, she should get herself some more braincells! **>> SHURELY SHOME MISHTAKE! Seen recently on the electronic bar boards: 00437 - Looney: 1meg for each typo that you can find on Insanity 00444 - Looney: Frist come Frist gets... Send LOONEY your finds If that notice is an example of the spelling to be found on the planet itself, Looney is going to be paying out a fortune! **>> SOMETHING IS ROTTEN IN THE STATE OF DENEB Poor Piemur is finding out that being a Duke isn't all its cracked up to be. There's a great deal of internal strife in the Duchy of Phoenix! Most of Piemur's planets were previously members of Occy's Zippy, and presumably they got used to his style of leadership. It must have been hard for them to adjust to the new regime. However, the dissension seems to stem from rivalries between two new planet-owners. It seems Glurg has upset Akiko, and the whole duchy has been dragged into the row. Duke Piemur found himself presiding over two warring factions. After tearing out what little hair he had left, he decided the only way to resolve the rows was to expel someone from his duchy. So Glurg found himself out in the cold, an Independent again. As might have been expected, his wife Jade instantly followed, seceding from Phoenix. And as also might have been expected, Destiny followed Jade! The three governors obviously had a discussion about what to do, and they decided that the Duke who could best look after them was Freya. (We understand the Godfather might have sent a couple of his heavies to help them make up their mind.) **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES Following the furore and upheavals, the duchies look like this: There are eight Independent worlds. Piemur's Phoenix has six planets left. Freya's Vitro and Krell's Gotham both have three, and Neutarus has two. After being demoted from Duke, Elex's Scadia has one planet - Jinx, previously a member of Oddball's Inversity. Oddball, of course, was artifically bumped up to Duke last week. Plantking's planet, Canna, should be going mini in the next day or so. If you haven't explored this rather beautiful planet, you've missed your chance! Jade's Dunnottar is now a mining planet, and will be going mini soon - so it's your last opportuniy to go and commune with That Sheep! **>> SPYNET REVIEW Congratulations to everyone who was promoted during the week: hopefully our data-collecting newsdroid didn't forget anyone this time. The new Captains are Elliott, Arathorn, Becky, Noe, Lucifer and Bonker. Mirth, Badog, Lucifer, Swifty and Noe made it to Adventurer. The Traders Guild opened its doors wide to welcome Traveler, Ishmee and Lucifer. Promotions to Merchant were Maxwell, Phaedrus and Cucamonga. Maxwell bought himself a company called Hammer Industries, Cucamonga called his C.C. Enterprises, and Phaedrus founded Church of Reason Inc. Sounds ominous! Cicero also bought himself a company, SPQR. Bugman and Maxwell both cracked the awesome JP puzzle (second time around for Max). Tellurian solved the fiendish GM puzzle, despite setting a record for the greatest number of deaths in the shortest possible time! Tellurian and Valtras made it to Explorer. We look forward to exploring their planets soon. Jade promoted to Thane. Apart from Noe's sad death this week, we lost Elliott, Qc and Hyde. RIP! **>> BULLETIN ENDS