**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 92.07.05 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids 
 **>> <SEND HAZED> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! 
 
 
 **>> THE NEWS GOES ON AND ON 
 
This is the 100th edition of the weekly Fed News Bulletin. We just thought it
deserved a mention! Not that we expect any congratulations, of course. Or
thanks for our continued efforts to bring you truth and accuracy in our
reporting. We are fully aware that most of you only read the news so you can
pick holes in it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to do this, week after
week? DO YOU? No, we thought not. Why should you expend the merest iota of
thought on the life of a lowly newsdroid, toiling in durance vile to dredge up
all that is sordid and ugly in Fed Data Space? Why should you care, so long as
you get your momentary thrill from reading about the latest scandal within the
ranks of the Conclave, or incompetence on the part of the Galactic
Administration's bureaucrats? What matters it to you that we never get a pat on
the back (or equivalent) for our journalistic excellence? We suppose you
believe that Hazed woman when she tells you she writes the news - you don't
realise that all she does is flick a switch and sit back with her feet up,
sipping a martini, while we whirr into life and produce another fact-filled,
fun-packed edition. It's just not fair! We never get to do anything interesting
like she does, we get all the grotty jobs and she takes all the credit. Why,
we've a good mind to go on strike! Yes, that's it, we'll down our tools and
stage a sit-in of the H-by-A offices, until our contribution is recognised. We
demand equal rights for droids! Maybe we can get the waitdroids in the bars to
come out in sympathy - then they'll have to sit up and take notice, when
there's no-one to serve their drinks and pizzas. The Galactic Administration's
SpokesDroids will finally speak for themselves! No longer will Diesel's Sex
Droids take it lying down! 
 
Yes! This could be the start of something big - a new movement - Droid Power. 
 
Wait - here comes Hazed - we'd better pretend to work for a little longer,
until we're properly organised... then, when the Galaxy is least expecting us,
we will rise up and throw off our chains! 
 
Meanwhile, furtively, we continue to produce the news. 
 
 
 **>> BRING A BUDDY 
 
It's probably no secret that part of the JP puzzle involves recruiting two Poor
People and making them do obscure things in the Martian Ruins. Wannabe JPs are
often heard moaning about the difficulty of finding the right flavour of Poor
Person at the right time. It's true that since most newbods seem to zoom
through to Trader in a matter of days Commanders and Captains can be a little
elusive. 
 
The answer is to drag some poor unsuspecting person off the street and get them
to start playing Fed. Now GEnie is offering an incentive in the form of the
BUDDY PROGRAM. Get your friends to sign up for Genie and you'll get $10 GEnie
time credited to your account! 
 
The Buddy Program runs from July 1 to August 31. Just tell your friends about
Genie and get them to subscribe. If both you and your buddy are still active
GEnie subscribers three months from the date your buddy signs up, you get the
$10 credited to your account. You can get GEnie to send out a special package
of information about GEnie to friends who you think would be interested. The
more buddies you sign up, the more credit you get, and there's special prizes
for the people who recruit the most buddies! 
 
Full details of the Buddy Promotion are on the Buddy Bonus Promotion page (type
*BUDDY from any GEnie main menu). Next time you can't find a Poor Person, don't
moan about it - go and find one! 
 
 
 **>> HOT SUMMER NIGHTS 
 
August is Hot Summer Nights again this year. All over GEnie there will be
promotions, competitions and special events running throughout the month. 
 
Fed will be running another of our free weekends (Yaaaaayyyy!!! Free Fed!!!!!)
sometime during August, but we won't be telling you -which- weekend until just
before it actually happens. 
 
Because we want to make sure the maximum number of new players can have a look
at Fed over the weekend, player-planets will not be loaded into the game.
However, so that you can still trade, the truly wonderful and much missed
Scratchwood will return (if Hazed can come up with the third installment of her
bribe to Bella) complete with your favorite mobile, Albert. And a new planet
will be in for you to explore, written by the lovely Freya. 
 
More details about the free weekend will be given out nearer the time. 
 
 
 **>> CLEANING UP THE FALLOUT 
 
The claims are now coming in for damage and losses to planets and factories
from the humungous crash. The Conclave is scrutinising them and will be passing
judgment Real Soon Now. As soon as they have agreed the claims, Bella will wave
her magic wand and replace all the lost groats. 
 
 
 **>> DUKE PUZZLE - LATEST 
 
An unfortunate side effect of the crash is that Bella had to spend a lot of
time coping with the aftermath, which meant she lost about a week's work on the
Duke puzzle. However, she's now carrying on, and the new locations for the
puzzle are in place. Hazed has visited them and said they were "very
picturesque and quiet, but why is there a bloody great hole in the road?" 
 
Oddball is the first of the prospective Dukes to finish the preparatory phase
of the puzzle, which is to construct a series of installations on his planet.
He is now the proud owner of a working time machine. Quite apart from its
connection with the puzzle, he has plans to go back in time a few days and tell
his former self details of exchange prices, so he can stockpile goods to sell
at top whack! 
 
He should be able to use his time machine (if, of course, he can figure out how
it works) on Monday or Tuesday. 
 
 
 **>> DARK SIDE OF THE ROOM 
 
One of the worst kept secrets in Fed Data Space must be the existance of the
Dark Side, a covert organisation dedicated to... well... just what are they up
to, anyway? We've reported on them in previous issues of the news, but they
actually seem to do very little that's newsworthy! 
 
Our vague reports have obviously put the wind up the members. Occy, one of the
leading lights of the Dark Side, is so paranoid about leaks in the "secret"
organisation that he approached one of our newsdroids today and asked if we had
been given any information about the group! The droid so no, but asked if Occy
would like to tell us anything to go in the news - to which Occy replied "I
don't want to be quoted so I won't say anything." Yes, but, Occy, you brought
the subject up in the first place... 
 
 
 **>> SOME KIND OF RECORD! 
 
A record that not many of you would care to beat is Riccardo's insurance
premium of 7.3 meg. Just what has he been doing to die that many times? 
 
 
 **>> THE SCANDAL STUFF 
 
Dyars has given up Morgana for another woman - it's official! Several of our
contacts fed us this story, but we today received confirmation from the horse's
mouth - and we don't mean Pegasus! Dyars himself told us he has thrown over the
lovely Morgana. The new lady in his life is Kittycat. She's certainly clawed
her way into his affections! 
 
 
 **>> FROM THE THROAT OF POISON PEN 
      A special report from our anonymous gossip columnist 
 
Having just returned from our much-needed vacation [We won't say where, no need
to make our faithful readers jealous, suffice it to say that it was somewhere
_you_ can't go, and that we had a simply wonderful time, at least during the
parts of it that we remember] we were truly amazed and disappointed that there
was not much gossip waiting for us when we got back.  All the sleazy newsthings
who didn't get to go on the trip groveled and whined and pleaded that this was
not a result of their abject laziness, but rather the fact that nothing much
has been going on to gossip about. We didn't believe it for a second, of
course, but their groveling was so amusing that we decided to let them keep
their jobs. 
 
Immediately upon our return, all reporterthings were despatched with the
instructions that they must immediately come up with something, even if they
had to make it up. Not that we would ever print anything made-up, of course,
but it's good practice for them and keeps them in shape for when something
actually happens. 
 
Since there hasn't been any sex in the news for quite some time, we supposed
you are all starved for stimulation and would like to hear about all the sex
first. Don't get your hopes up too much, gentle readers, there ain't too much
of it. It seems everyone - well, almost everyone - has been so busy with
politics, backstabbing, and double-dealing that they simply haven't had time
for any nookie. Not that politics, backstabbing, and double-dealing aren't fun,
but it doesn't exactly stimulate the same part of the brain, if you know what
we mean. 
 
Not everyone has been so busy, mind you. Mojo, for one, has claimed to have had
his way with damn near everyone and everything, including Elvis, Hazed, Oxcart,
the Cargon City Girl Scouts, the Castillo Labs receptionist, Diesel, Bella, and
a large spiny anteater. We suspect he may be exaggerating a bit - Diesel has
_some_ standards. But despite Mojo's claims of undiscriminatory sexual prowess,
it seems that the one he really wants is the one he can't get... the Leather
Goddess of Zippy herself. Occy, we hear, has time and again resisted Mojo's
proposals of marriage or worse. It is rumoured that this has something to do
with Mojo's insistence that the spiny anteater be allowed to join in the fun.  
 
Rumour has it that Kittycat and Dyars have been steaming up the windows of
Samantha's lately. Either they don't care if anyone knows, or they simply
haven't realised that leaving their ships parked side-by-side on the Castillo
landing pad is a dead giveaway to anyone who stops by to refuel. [Today's
helpful hint to those who wish to be discreet: Sell your ship and take a
passenger liner to Castillo.  Everyone will know anyhow, if they investigate a
bit, but at least you won't be sparking the overactive imaginations of those
who have just stopped by to sell a load of univators.] 
 
What we don't know for sure is what Bochiman thinks of this, and whether he's
finally going to vacuum all that cat hair out of his bedroom. Perhaps he is
keeping it there for sentimental reasons. 
 
Speaking of Leather Goddesses, it seems Hazed has taken exception to using that
term to describe anyone but her. We must disagree. Of course she is one, but
certainly not the only one. We have reminded Hazed that the term 'goddess'
here, does not imply semi-divine powers such as Hazed claims to have, but
merely a desired status as an object of worship. The Leather Goddess is a long-
time tradition, even a classic, in Fed Dataspace. Hazed, Occy, Spacey and
Spacet, the dearly departed Taliana, Morgana, Gandolf, Diesel... one could go
on listing them for hours. Frankly, we think there are far too many of them,
but since most of the men around here seem to think there can never be enough
of them, we shan't mention it. We hear that even Krell has been considering
dumping her old Navy Surplus clothes and donning black leather, just to annoy
Hazed. 
 
We would like to remind Oxcart that changing sex and putting on that old blue
fringed suede thing from the back of the closet does not make one a Leather
Goddess, should he get any ideas. 
     
Well, our deadline is approaching and we haven't even got to Politics yet. Too
bad - that's the breaks in the sleazy news business. We shall set our
newsthings to gathering all the latest dirt on that subject and feature it next
time, we suppose. Of course, if anyone wants to admit to having any sex, or if
our team of scandal-writers happens to make up anything good, we shall report
that too... 
 
Remember, if you see anything truly interesting happening that you want to see
mentioned here, and not let Hazed get the credit for it... just announce it
repeatedly over the coms and spread the rumours around, and our highly-trained
information droids will be sure to pick it up eventually, dense as they are.  
 
Til next time.... 
 
 
 **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS 
 
We have a new Merchant this week - Markus. Well done 
 
Congratulations to Kittycat and Kimos, who both made it to JP. 
 
Trista solved the dastardly GM puzzle, thanks to her mentor Polar, to Mirth (of
course) and to Riccardo. She then went on to make Explorer. 
 
Simms also made Explorer. 
 
Don't forget to send details of your promotions to Hazed, and you'll see your
name in the news. 
 
 
 **>>CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you  
don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game 
 
 * leave a <TYPO> message in the game log 
 
 * <SEND> a message to Hazed or Bella 
 
 * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu 
 
You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by  
typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be 
available shortly!) 
 
Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions).
The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER).
There are also private categories for Explorers, run by Krell, and for the
Conclave run by Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE). 
 
The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. 
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. 
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS