**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 92.03.15 **>> SPECIAL UNCONVENTIONAL EDITION **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> AN UNCREATIVE NEWS It seemed like a great idea - all the UnConvention attendees would help Aunty Hazed to write the news. The accumulated creativity of several Fedders, high on the adrenaline of meeting each other in person, would spontaneously combust and the result would be a news of unsurpassed wit and relevance. What a dumb idea! All the UnConventioneers are hung-over. There they sit, in corners of Chez Diesel (Washington Branch), clutching their heads and moaning quietly. At least, those that have shown their ugly faces (or equivalent) are crouching in corners, there are many who are still in bed. Whose bed, we don't know. In this news, we were going to bring you superbly scintillating scurrilous stories such as: **>> Galauriel belly-dancing on the table **>> Crypto deported as a National Security risk (and a health hazard). **>> Oxcart (the filthiest Fedder) and Reginald (the rubber chicken) - true love at last **>> The many faces and bodies of Juliet - an ugly tale of multiple possession **>> Elvis is alive and well, playing Fed under the name Blackmark **>> Crypto defeated by feather duster **>> Slew taken away by cleaning staff - they mistook him for left luggage **>> Fedders say "Beam me up, Scotty" at the Star Trek exhibition. But unless we have an instant injection of braincells, there is no way we can write these stories. And since anyone who is anyone is actually here at the Convention, they know what happened anyway. Watch out for a special UnConvention Report written by The Vile One itself in next week's news. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). There are also categories for Explorers and for the Conclave; these are run by Occy (Mail ID: OCPAC) and Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE) respectively. The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS