**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 92.01.05 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> NO NEWS IS BAD NEWS! You came very close to not having a News Bulletin to read this week. Hazed, maitreuse-mind of the weekly news reports, went into a fit of the sulks and refused to program the news-droid. When asked what the matter was, she just burst into tears and muttered incoherently about how nobody appreciated her! What brought on his hysterical behaviour is not clear. We all know that Hazed is loved by everyone in Fed, and surely nobody would have been nasty enough to our beloved demi-goddess to cause her to have a breakdown in this fashion. We were convinced we would have to cancel this week's bulletin - after all, we newsdroids are not independent beings; we do need someone to turn us on and give us the bare bones of the stories, before we can get on with making up the news as usual. But at the last minute, Bella phoned a personal plea from her sickbed to Hazed, and persuaded the over-wrought star that The Show Must Go On. So, thankfully, here it is: the first news of 1992! Happy New Year! **>> BELLA BULLETIN The good news is that Alan (Bella, the creator and programmer of Fed) is now out of hospital. The bad news is that he has been ordered by the doctors to stay in bed for at least a week, until the swelling in his leg goes down. Then he will be able to start moving around a little on crutches. Meanwhile, Fed is quite safe in the capable hands (or equivalent) of Hazed. (Gawd what a frightening though!) **>> SECRET CODE PHRASE For the last few days the Fed page has been displaying a secret code phrase. The phrase will continue to appear until the end of February, and will change every day. We're not supposed to explain what it's for, because it's a secret. But being fearless investigative newsdroids, used to blowing the whistle on all the shady wheelings and dealings of the upper echelons of the Galactic Administration, we're used to giving away secrets! If you haven't already received your Livewire magazine, it should be dropping through your letter boxes in the next few days, since it is sent to all GEnie subscribers. Contained therein you will find a coupon, offering you one hour's Fed time for free. Simply fill in the coupon, and include the secret code phrase shown on the day you accessed Fed, send it to GEnie and you will have your hour's Fed time refunded to your account. This offer is valid until the end of February 1992, and applies to existing players and new Fedders alike, so don't forget to fill in the coupon and send it back to GEnie! **>> WELCOME NEW PLAYERS If you are a new player who has decided to take advantage of this offer and have a first look at Federation, welcome to the wonderful world of Fed Data Space. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you are not sure what is going on, but do please take the time to read the instructions. The Quickstart Guide only takes a few minutes to read, and will get you started; you can also download the full manual to read offline, which gives you lots of detailed information. If you have any questions about the game, you can contact the Federation staff by using the FEEDBACK option on the Fed menu. Have fun! **>> SANTA'S PRESENTS Santa Claus has hung up his showshoes after another extremely busy holiday period. During his frequent visits to Fed Data Space, he gave away loadsagroats to loadsa little girls and boys, and three lucky children - Krell, Oxcart and Dodger - received an extra special present of some free connect time. And it was only Dodger's second day in Fed Data Space when he won his present. Let's hope that Santa can visit us again next year, with even more lovely presents for the good little children. **>> MPGRT NEWS Congratulations to Krell, who is Member of the Month for January in the multi- player games RT. Polar has been working hard designing his planet, Polaris, and he's uploaded a history of the world into the library. It's worth keeping an eye on what gets uploaded; recently there have been some more macro files, courtesy of Apple, and a number of pictures have been uploaded. **>> PLANET NEWS Gotham, the most disgusting planet in the universe, has been upgraded to a mining world. It's just as well it is no longer agricultural, really; we don't like the idea of eating anything produced on Gotham! Also upgraded are Haven, which is now a leisure world; Jinx and Scadia are now mining planets; and Megalusa has turned Industrial. Avalon made a surprise appearance today because Aeron, it's owner, popped into the game briefly yesterday. The re-appearance of Avalon gave factory owners a chance to finally dispose of their production plants on the world, which have been idle for several months now. We don't know if Aeron plans to return again soon, so we doubt that Avalon will be sticking around. **>> FEUD There seems to be a feud between Traders Richard and Destiny. Richard says that he can never get hold of the objects he needs to improve his stats, because Destiny always gets to them first. We were unable to contact Destiny to ask him whether this is just coincidence, in that he is using the objects to advance himself, or if he is maliciously preventing Richard from improving. If anyone can give us further information about this feud, please contact us. It's time we had a nice juicy vendetta to write about. **>> NEW YEAR'S SEX CHANGE We've been receiving shocking reports about the debauchery that took place in Chez Diesel during a party to bring in the New Year. Details are a little hazy, since most of the participants suffered from faulty memories the day after (no doubt due to the extreme levels of drunkenness, or possibly to extreme levels of embarrassment!). Several high ranking Fedders were seen prior to the party sneaking into the hospital on Gotham and submitting themselves to the ministrations of the dubious doctor, returning later as a different sex! They then proceeded to lure innocent poor people into Chez Diesel and forced them to take part in the ensuing orgy. We asked a shocked Trader to describe his encounter with these perverted gender-benders: "It started when I landed on Mars with a cargo of cereals from Bayside. I was on my way to the exchange to sell the goods, when these two attractive women beckoned me into Chez Diesel. "I thought they looked familiar, but I couldn't put a name to the faces. They were real stunners, and I was flattered that they wanted to have a drink with me. "When I walked into the bar, they started kissing me and I responded. I was snogging each of them in turn, and they were groping me, and they kept buying me drinks. It was quite dark in there, so I couldn't see them clearly. It wasn't until someone shone a candle on their faces that I realised who they were. It was Oxcart and Rezrov! I realised they had changed their sex, and I was horrified. I just picked up my trousers and ran out of there." Others were not so lucky; they did not get away from Chez Diesel before the orgy started. Shell-shocked victims were later found wandering, dazed, as far away as Mercury, muttering "I didn't realise who they were!" If our informants are to be believed, this sickening behaviour is only the tip of the iceberg. Not a day goes by without someone, somewhere in Fed Data Space, doing something naughty. If you have information about the sordid behaviour of your fellow Fedders, please grass them up because disgusting filth like this makes the News Bulletins so much more interesting - and remember, the dirtier the dirt, the more we pay for it. **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS We've been informed of a lot of promotions in the last week. Don't forget to tell us when you get promoted, so we can mention it in the news. Flatliner and Zippo both solved the fiendish GM puzzle, and then went on to become Explorers. Tony was promoted to Merchant, and Blindman and Bridget both became Traders. Well done. Apple and Io were both promoted to Adventurer, and can now visit the outer reaches of the Galaxy where the player-planets revolve. With the upgrade of assorted planets, Russ is now a Baron, Rezrov an Industrialist, and Oxcart and Elex are Thanes. And some late news just in... apparently Krell has been promoted to Captain. No, hang on, that can't be right... he's been around much too long to still be a Captain... oh yes, here we are: Krell is now a Thane. InThanity Rules! **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Occy (Mail ID: OCPAC). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS