**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 91.09.22 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> SHE'S BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Yes darlings, here I am, returned from a week basking in the sun and enjoying myself (in a totally innocent way, of course) in the fleshpots of Sirius II. I must say, Cryposporidium's little effort with last week's news was... not at all bad, considering... but not up to my usual standard, as I'm sure you'll all agree. And I gather it was late, too. Oh well, what does one expect from an inferior being? Well, what a week it's been, darlings! Two new planets to explore, of varying standards, a bunch of new promotions, quite a few naughty little scandals, and of course the teensy problems with the game over this weekend. So, with only a little more ado, I'll fire the newsdroid up and watch it spring into action to bring you another thrilling, exciting, and rather well written, edition of the Fed News Bulletin! **>> CRASH AND BURN As most of you will know, the game has suffered some problems this weekend. The Galactic Administration would like to assure you all categorically that none of the problems were in any way Davidge's fault. Honest! The actual cause of the problem is very complicated, so we won't go into it here. But the result was that the persona file became corrupted, and Bella had to back it out to a version which was about 36 hours old. And then she had to return to the backed-up version later as it got corrupted again! It's always a problem when things go wrong over a weekend, because there is never a time when the game can be taken down and tested quietly without players - it just goes to show that Mr. Murphy is alive and well and living in Fed Data Space! Our Illustrious Leader's working hard to ensure this corruption doesn't happen again, and once she is sure she's got to the root of the problem, she'll compensate people for lost groats, stats and trader points. As usual, such claims will be co-ordinated by The Conclave. **>> THERE'S A BRAND NEW STAR IN THE HEAVENS Two, actually! Well, not stars as such... planets, actually! Oxcart's world, Jinx, was opened up for business early in the week. And what an amazing place it is! We thoroughly recommend that you all spend some time exploring the world - but make sure you take your sense of humour! Occy's planet, Zippy, is also available, but we don't recommend that anyone visit it until it's been cleaned up a little. As well as numerous spelling and gramatical errors in the descriptions, and very strange messages when you try to move in the wrong direction, the errors in the movement table mean that you stand a good chance of getting completely lost! Even Occy was lost on the planet yesterday. To be fair to Occy, she did have a set of corrections to go in within a few hours of discovering the mistakes, but because of the problems at the weekend Bella was completely unable to copy the files across. The updated version of the planet will go in tomorrow morning (Monday), and until that time we advise people to stay off Zippy. A lot of players have asked just why Occy's planet was put in when it had so many problems. Bella's answer is that it serves as an awful warning to others! The policy of the Federation II team is not to tamper with what the players do, to let them carry on as they wish - and that goes as far as not vetting or testing their planets for them. The only time we would intervene in a planet is if any of it was against any GEnie policies, or if something about the planet was detrimental to the stability of the game. Future Squires, be warned - you stand (or fall) on your own! Two more planets should go in this week. Provided there are no more catastrophes, Elex's world will go in on Tuesday, and Otoole's on Thursday. Taliana's planet is on hold during her (we hope brief) absense from Fed Data Space. **>> PLANETARY ECONOMIES, FACTORIES AND SUCHLIKE There's a raging debate going on in the Explorer's category of the BBS about the way that factories affect planets, and vice versa. It all started when Bella implemented the long-expected eight-factory limit (did you notice that in last week's news?). Any Explorers or Squires who haven't been following the discussion should make their views known now. In about a week, Bella will make a decision, based on your input. Meanwhile, you can all throw away your trading macros because sometime during the next week or so four of the planets are going to change. Scratchwood is turning back into a leisure planet, and Haven, Phoenix and Inversity will become mining worlds as their owners, Russ, Piemur and Oddball, are promoted to Count. When these changes happen, their exchanges will be reconfigured and the goods available for sale are likely to change drastically. **>> FRIENDLY FIRE ISN'T Poor Baysidian found out that a bullet fired by a friend is just as deadly as that fired by an enemy, as his best buddy Gandolf blew him out of the sky and sent him to oblivion - dead-dead. Tired of life, Bay decided it was better to go out in a blaze of glory, helped along by a friend, than to slink off into the night, his passing unremarked. We're sure he'll be back, though! **>> A MACRO, A MACRO, MY SPACESHIP FOR A MACRO! Another person considering suicide is Niun. He's cracked the awesome GM puzzle... but is having trouble actually carrying out the solution! Niun uses a computer on which he cannot use macros, and he is convinced that he cannot type fast enough to make the final run required to escape with his life. Many people have assured him that it can be done manually, but he's not convinced. So, if anyone knows anything about macros for Wizard on the C128 - or if anyone would like to pretend to be Niun for the 20 seconds it takes to type in the series of commands - then offer your services to poor Niun! **>> SAYING OF THE WEEK A Rich Person is just a Poor Person with an enormous amount of money. **>> GOSSIP, SCANDAL AND LIES We have in our possession a set of photos showing explicitly what Oxcart and Freya have been up to recently. Unless we are persuaded otherwise, we will print them in a future issue. We've heard on the grapevine that Trippin is attempting to be Fed's new femme fatale. She has apparently had liaisons with many of the males in Fed. Amongst the many names that have been mentioned are Quixote, Slew and Zippo. Our Illustrious Leader has, very irresponsibly in our view, decided to encourage this outrageous behaviour. She has added three new qualifiers to the way that you kiss people. You can now expect to receive a Hot, Tender or Sloppy kiss from your lovers. That's all very well, but whoever heard of a sloppy tickle? It sounds quite disgusting! **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS Cyrfox has become an Explorer, and is about to embark on the wonderful voyage of discovery to build his very own planet. Vanjerin has made Merchant, and in the excitement of his promotion he forgot how to spell his name - he notified us that VanGerin had made Merchant! Enhancer made JP. Well done! Sheffield hoped to reach Emperor without ever seeing his name in the news, but we've foiled his plan - we have to report that he's made GM. Zero was promoted to Trader. Richard is now a Captain. He is reputedly Fed's youngest player (now 14) and is fighting his way back up the ranks following his unfortunate accident recently. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation II by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. Federation II has a category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 14. The Federation II Leader in the bulletin board is Occy (Mail ID: OCPAC). Topic 1 of the Fed category contains the Federation II policy statement. The MPGames RT also has a Federation II library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation II News Archives, with all previous editions of the news. It is updated every few weeks. **>> BULLETIN ENDS