**************************************** * * * FEDERATION DATA SPACE NEWS SERVICE * * * * from * * H-by-A * * * * October 14 1990 * * * **************************************** THE QUICK AND THE DEAD ---------------------- It's getting a bit boring. Every single week's lead story seems to be about either Piemur or Santiago. Or both. And this week is no exception! Fresh from the rigours of the fiendish JP puzzle, Piemur has now started on the rocky road the GuildThingHood. This means he has to get to grips with the awesome GM puzzle. He started his initial explorations yesterday, and in the space of less than 24 hours managed to die over five times! Careless or what? It's quite hard to report on exactly what he has been up to, without either giving him clues about what he is doing wrong, or giving clues to lower players about what they will have to go through later. So we're not going to tell you what happened. Suffice to say that he is already tearing his hair out - and after solving the JP puzzle he didn't have much left to tear! It's just as well the cloning process replaces all damaged parts, including the head, or someone would be able to make a good living knocking up wigs for him. Meanwhile, Santiago is not far behind him. Our information this morning showed him needing only about 5 more stats before he could try his hand at promotion as well. We understand that Piemur and Santiago intend to co-operate again. (Pause for raucous laughter). Look out for large knives sticking out of their backs... Incidentally, in order to speed up their progress, both Sago and Pie have been borrowing vast sums of money from Lady. Presumably at a ruinous rate of interest! HOW THE MIGHTY ARE FALLEN ------------------------- Having been the Head of the Conclave for so long, Piemur was starting to have a severe ego problem. Not only did he expect all other players to worship at his feet, he also started up a sideline selling Piemur t-shirts, Piemur mugs, Piemur keyrings, and, worst of all, Piemur action dolls. This plan backfired rather badly. Some disgruntled player got hold of one of the action dolls and started sticking pins into it in the hope that Piemur would come to some grief. Of course, since Federation Data Space is a very logical world, totally bereft of magic of any sort, this had no effect whatsoever. But it did give some of Pie's enemies some ideas... Much to his surprise, Piemur found himself deposed. He was removed from the Conclave, and from the Levels listing, completely! He still had a vast networth, well over 100 meg, but his exalted position wasn't being acknowledged. We sent one of our top reporters to look into this strange happening. Suspicion first fell on Lady. She certainly had the motive to do the dirty deed; following his nuking of Petros plants, Piemur had been blackmailing Lady (see the recent SpyNet Enquirer report for the details) and she was also keen to knock him off the top of the Conclave so she could reign supreme. She had the means, being well-connected within the Galactic Administration. But she didn't have the opportunity; she had been absent from Fed Data Space for several days prior to the occurrence. Undaunted by this initial setback, our gallant reporter continued his investigations, and at great risk to life, limb and insurance policy, managed to piece together the clues that led to one man... Santiago! It seems that Sago has formed a group called the Rebel Alliance. The group's aims are to advance its members by any means possible, with no regard for the law. The membership at the moment is made up of Santiago alone (although we understand that several other players have approached him wishing to join). Our reporter overhead Sago boasting to another player that he had hacked into the Galactic Administration's computers, via the Public Spybeam, and had removed Piemur's name from the list of those eligible for the Conclave. This made Sago himself the top dog, and he celebrated by wandering around with a mood which read "The Leader of the Conclave". Such was his cleverness, it took several days for the GA's programmers to track down his tampering and put it right. However, Piemur has now regained his rightful position and is looking for ways to wreak his revenge on Sago. WOT - NO BRIBERY? ----------------- We are shocked. Never have we had to report such a sorry state of affairs. This goes against all that Federation Data Space stands for. Those of you with a sensitive disposition should, perhaps, shut your eyes while this part of the News Bulletin scrolls off the monitor. The Conclave recently held its first meeting, to rule on the decision of Freddie v. Galactic Administration. Freddie bought two warehouses on the same planet, which is a rather silly thing to do because while the game won't stop you buying two, it won't let you use more than one. Not unnaturally, he wanted his half meg back. The Conclave decided this was a case they should try, so they met and decided he should be reimbursed but should be fined 100K costs for his stupidity. But the truly appalling thing about the meeting - the thing that has produced gasps of horror from all those who have had experience of such matters previously - is that the stupid fools didn't ask for bribes! Hasn't anyone told them that justice is just as much a tradable commodity as anything else in Fed? OUTRAGING PUBLIC SENSIBILITIES! ------------------------------- It has come to our attention that a certain person is concerned because a certain other person has a tendency to himself in public. The first certain person seems to think that the behaviour of the other certain person should be against some kind of law. He's wrong. There are no public decency laws in Federation Data Space. If it feels good, do it! EXTORTION --------- Rich People are becoming a little disturbed about the greed of Poor People. Captains and Commanders are demanding huge fees from the two JourneyPersons for carrying cargo, much to their disgust. They are also getting wise to the possibilities of holding objects needed for stat puzzles to ransome, only handing them over to desperate Traders and Merchants in exchange for large sums of groats. They really ought to be a little more careful - if the Rich People get really pissed off, the Poor People might find themselves on the wrong end of a gang of twin lasers! SNIPPETS -------- This is the section for all those bits for which snappy headlines elude us. Congratulations to Niun, who made Merchant yesterday. Welcome to Aeron, a flame-haired Scottish beauty who has been delighting us all with her singing and harp-playing. Piemur in particular seems to be captivated by the newbod and has been showering her with gifts of large quantities of groats. Could this be love? It's worth mentioning that there are absolutely no rules or strictures against handing groats over to other players. Of course, you get taxed quite heavily for the transactions! However, there is a limit of two meg on the amount you can give at one time. You need to split large amounts down into two meg lumps; if you try to give more, only two meg will be transferred. And the hash key (#) which repeats some of the commands won't work with monetary transactions. The Galactic Administration has changed the frequency of factory outputs. Factories still produce 100 tons per cycle, but instead of 20 tons every 20 FTUs, it now produces 25 tons every 25 FTUs. This will stop warehouses overflowing quite so quickly! And the limit for ing the contents of bays together has been increased to 75 tons. TIMEWARP -------- Some of you have remarked how strange it is that every time you visit Chez Diesel (Social Centre of the Solar System) Diesel herself is hard at work, overseeing the premises and providing her Executive Services. Doesn't she ever sleep, you wonder? The answer is, of course she does. She has a small timewarp installed in her basement, which not only allows Chez Diesel to be open 26 hours a day, but allows the proprieteuse to carry on a full life outside the bar itself. The miracles of modern technology! THE HUNT FOR END OCTOBER ------------------------ The date has now been fixed for the next Fighting School. It will be held on Saturday 27 October, so if you want to learn all there is to know about violence and mayhem, put that date in your diaries. We haven't decided on a time yet, so if any of you have strong feelings about periods of the day when you definitly won't be able to make it, let us know and we will try to accommodate you all. We have also been making plans for future Special Events. In the pipeline are an Introductory Night, where you will be encouraged to drag along your friends and get them started, and a Trading School, for those of you who are confused by the way the exchanges work. We also have something rather special planned for Christmas - more details nearer the time. GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP -------------------- Don't forget that this News Bulletin pays well for gossip and slander, the dirtier the better. Mail your titbits to FEDII.2. THE BORING STUFF AT THE END --------------------------- The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Cryptosporidium, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu Federation II has a category in Scorpia's Games RT. To get there, type M805,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 29. The Scorpia RT also has a Federation II library in the files area.