**************************************** * * * FEDERATION DATA SPACE NEWS SERVICE * * * * from * * H-by-A * * * * September 10 1990 * * * **************************************** BLOODBATH! ---------- All hell broke loose yesterday in Fed Data Space as assorted Fedders engaged in an orgy of destruction, firing at anything that moved and slaughtering each other indiscriminately. An eye-witness reported the death toll as "in the thousands", although official figures from the Galactic Administration show that this was somewhat exagerated (you can't trust these eye-witnesses...) The pile of mangled corpses needing revival put the resources of St Edwina's Memorial Hospital on Earth to the test and teams of Doctors worked flat out to clone those victims sensible enough to have taken out life insurance. However, nobody suffered any lasting damage from this wanton violence - Our Illustrious Leader had frozen the persona file, which meant that nothing that happened last night was saved by the game. The reason for all this mayhem? The Hunt! This was a Special Event, sponsored by the Galactic Administration, and run by those very nice H-by-A people, to teach Fedders how to fight. At 6.00 EDT Explorer Hazed opened her Fighting School. Ably assisted by her able assistant, Sargeant Major Cryptosporidium, she turned Chez Diesel into a classroom and lectured on the care and use of weapons, the techniques of successful offence and defence, and the cost of weaponry and repairs. Groats were dished out freely to all who enrolled in the School, enabling them to purchase large, well-armoured ships bristling with lethal weapons. Once everyone was tooled up, Cryptosporidium presented herself as a "sitting target" and allowed people to try to blow holes in her hull. She managed to restrain herself from shooting back - most of the time! Having familiarised themselves with the commands for firing their weapons, and having gained a taste for blood, Crypto made life a little more difficult for the pupils by letting them chase her around the Interplanetary Wastes. A wound-licking session back in Chez Diesel gave people the chance to find out what they had done wrong, and claim more groats for ship repairs, re-insurance and extra weapons. The second phase of the practical session was a mobile hunt. Crypto led the band of intrepid fighters against the Vega, and they discovered that fighting isn't so easy when the target fires back! Once the weedy little Vega had been despatched, it was the turn of the Xerxes to be used for target practice - slightly tougher, but still not too much of a problem when fire at en masse. After that, the pupils were allowed to roam around attempting to blow up any mobiles they could find. Monty finally succumbed to the onslaught but Pegasus escaped relatively unscathed, his deadly turbo-charged twin lasers beating off all attempts on his life. In addition, two mobiles not usually found in the Solar System were available for the fighters to blast. The Care satellite is normally found in Hilbert Space (an area you get to visit on the path to GuildThingHood) and proved extremely tough, but it finally exploded into little pieces after several people had softened it up. The Target Drone, a mobile provided especially for the occasion, should have been a nice weak little ship for people to practice on - but due to a cock-up at the Galactic Administration's Department of Weaponry and Armour, it proved totally invincible, and even managed to polish off Explorer Hazed! Finally, the evening ended with a gigantic free-for-all - at last, the pupils were allowed to shoot at each other, and the teachers could fire indiscriminately at anyone who sat still for less than a nano-second - thus relieving the frustration of not usually being allowed to shoot the punters! Those who weren't able to attend The Hunt may be wondering what the point of it was. Well, apart from being great fun (just ask anyone who was there), you do need to have a certain level of fighting skill to advance in the game. Before you can embark on the puzzle that blocks your way to JP, you need to kill Monty, and if you hope to advance to GM some pretty hefty mobiles have to be taken care of. So this was valuable practice, without any losses - noone who died remains dead, and the vast cost of weapons and ship repairs hasn't left anyone poorer. Anyone who feels they have missed out should make sure they read The Idiot's Guide. Full details on ship fighting are contained therein. FACTORIES --------- Factories have been springing up all over Fed Data Space, as Traders and Merchants try their hands at running their own companies. There has been some debate about whether one should embark on a new career as a Managing Directory (or CEO) as soon as one reaches Trader, or whether it is better to wait until one has attained Merchanthood. Most people seem to have opted for factories as soon as they have the necessary groats, and Earth is now a positive hotbed of industrial activity! This hive of industry on Earth has rather upset the trading exchange. Whenever a factory is running, the native production of that commodity is suppressed in order to give it a fair chance - which has resulted in certain shortages. In particular, Merkin seems to have cornered the market in livestock and there have been shocked cries from other factory owners at the extortionate prices he has been asking for his goods! We understand that several people are investigating the inputs he requires for his livestock factory, with a view to cornering the market in those and getting their own back... ah, the cut and thrust of the competitive market! Soya has always been in short supply but for those who need it as inputs for factories, Our Illustrious Leader has a soya factory and is willing to sell her produce at a fairly reasonable price. However, for some strange reason she seems able to make soya out of the wierdest things... her inputs include sensory amplifiers! NOTHING NEW ----------- There's been no changes to the game in the last week, but Our Illustrious Leader is now back in harness and champing at the bit. The first item to appear in the next few days will be the much-requested command. And when you type on its own, to get details of the command, you will be told what your current mood is. OBITUARY -------- Fed Data Space is still reeling at the shocking expiry of would- be JourneyPerson Gonzul. At some point in the past, he neglected to reinsure himself, and while trying to get to grips with the fiendish puzzle he croaked it - and died dead-dead! For those unfamiliar with the term, dying dead is just waking up in the hospital; dying dead-dead refers to dying completely and losing your persona through not having insurance. We are trying to find out just what he was doing to cause his untimely demise, and why he didn't have insurance (it surely can't have been stupidity... can it?) and will report all the gory details when we can. Meanwhile, we would like to offer our condolences and hope that he will be rejoining us Real Soon Now. IDIOT OF THE WEEK ----------------- Stand up, Piemur and take a bow! You have the honour of being this week's prize bozo. Piemur managed to buy two warehouses on the same planet, which is an extremely good way to waste half a meg since the game will happily let you do it, but won't let you access the second one. I don't think he'll be doing it again!