 |
AOL NEWS YEARBOOK Earthdate November 1995 |
|
AOL NEWS YEARBOOK Earthdate November 1995 |
|
THE MONTH IN BRIEF Fighting between players was banned in the Solar System, to prevent the slaughter of the innocents (see the story below). Planetary builds were introduced as a way for planet-owners to boost their worlds' economies and thereby gain promotion. More new planets linked into the game, and ValorNine received the second Walrus of Merit for the design of his world, Virtis. The Great PumpkinFed visited Federation DataSpace for a Halloween party. GuyRay became Fed's first Baron, by promoting his planet Nightclub to leisure level. It didn't take him long to complete the construction of a teleporter which allowed him to pop in and out of various and sundry locations without warning (and no doubt die frequently!).
There was dancing in the streets and spaceways this week, as the Galactic Administration announced an amazing new scientific breakthrough which finally brings peace to Sol space. The Galactic Administration's scientific research department, after many years of painstaking work and dangerous experimentation, have developed an energy field which causes weapons to malfunction when fired. The field affects both mechanical weapons such as missiles and mag-guns, and computer-controlled lasers and twin lasers. The development was welcomed by the peace-loving citizens of Fed DataSpace who were constantly being prevented from going about their lawful business by fearsome bounty hunters, or becoming injured by cross-fire from other people's fights. A police spokesdroid was confident that this would put a stop to the recent unpleasant spate of fly-by shootings. In conjunction with this technological advance, Imperial Navy scientists have manufactured a damper device that supresses the field in the surrounding area, allowing Navy vessels to carry out their enforcement duties. Unfortunately, it is rumoured that a pirate organisation has stolen the blueprints for the damper technology and installed devices into its predator ships, allowing them to continue to prey on the unwary. A side-effect of the damper device means that it is possible to defend yourself against attack from a ship fitted with the damper - or indeed to initiate combat against them! The Galactic Administration has no plans to deploy the field outside the Solar System.
Haulers throughout the galaxy feared for the safety of their cargoes this week as a band of marauders engaged in a string of hijackings. The Venusian Liberation Army, a militant organization dedicated to wresting control of Venus away from the dread emperor Ming, claimed responsibility for these actions. The VLA was involved in no fewer than 17 hijacking incidents. Their favorite target was shipments of Alloys, although other commodities were also stolen. After capturing several loads consisting of a variety of cargoes, the VLA issued a list of demands and indicated that the hijacked goods would be returned once the demands were met. This pronouncement was delivered to the local media by an unknown person. Several days later Solarflyer, the largest victim of the terrorists, engaged in a bitter dispute with a purported member of the shadowy VLA. She was not able to capture the supposed agent of the violent terrorist group but she did trade harsh words with him over comms. During the exchange Solarflyer was accused of being the mastermind of a complex blackmail scheme. This statement is likely false - deliberate misinformation meant to cloud the issue and draw suspicion away from the real members of the VLA. At last report there is no word as to the whereabouts of the commodities being held for ransom and no further sightings of VLA members.
This week our faithful newsdroid was able to bring to light more facts about those notorious blackhearts, the Venusian Liberation Army. The week started on a positive note, as the VLA safely returned Solarflyer's precious Alloys. As reported in last week's bulletin, the vile Venusians had hijacked the Alloys and were holding them for ransom. The exchange took place Sunday night on Carnival. A joint force of local Carnivalese police and Sphinxian security forces from the duchy capital were on hand in an attempt to apprehend the terrorists. Unfortunately the villains managed to escape the dragnet and fled Carnival with the ransom. No precise details have been released but it is rumored that in exchange for the Alloys the VLA received several hundred thousand groats, a platter of delicious sandwiches, a series of books and a strangely familiar pair of high heels. Some further misdeeds of the of the VLA were uncovered later in the week when it was revealed that they were running a spaceship theft ring based on Atlantis. Stolen spaceships from all over the galaxy are being smuggled to Atlantis where they are then stripped down and reduced to their component parts for re-sale. It is suspected that these stolen parts are being funneled to Nightclub in order to sustain the booming shipyards located there, but this suspicion has yet to be confirmed. This is not the only VLA activity suspected to be taking place on Atlantis. Game Hosts Bogus and Motherkins, both of whom have been missing for weeks, were last seen on Atlantis. Apparently, they were lured there by C5crwchief's promise of well-tailored clothes. Authorities suspect foul play. When questioned on this point C5crwchief, the overlord of Atlantis, denied any knowledge and replied that neither Bogus nor Motherkins had visited the infamous concrete factories of Atlantis. Any Game Hosts receiving invitations to visit Atlantis, or offers to have their measurements taken by Atlantean tailors should keep in mind the fates of Bogus and Motherkins and take suitable precautions. It seems that VLA infiltration reaches to the highest levels of the Federation hierarchy. Game Host Zoranel has been implicated in the foul misdeeds of the VLA. Why does a Game Host support this terrorist organization? Was Zoranel involved in the disappearances of Bogus and Motherkins? Where did Zoranel come from anyway? These questions and countless others remain unanswered. Rest assured though that our dedicated newsdroid will uncover the truth!
The crimes of the Venusian Liberation Army continue. We have just received reports of the VLA's most ambitious crime to date: they have succeeded in a coup on Droidium! Details of how the terrorists managed to accomplish such a bold move are still sketchy. It is suspected that the leaders of the duchy's member-planets were subverted first. The attack against the capital was then apparently launched from Mistick, disguised as a convoy of Alloys. Duke Exobot was caught unaware but he managed to escape the bloodbath together with a retinue of advisors. The VLA had been agitating in Droidium for weeks prior to the overthrow. Most of the planets that have deserted Droidium over the past month decided to secede from the duchy due to pressure from the terrorists. It seems that the VLA has already established an extensive network in Droidium, mostly disguised as Alloys factories. The full extent of the actions of these vile Venusians is only now becoming clear. Exobot is currently in hiding and is said to be planning a counter-attack against the villainous VLA.
The Venusian Liberation Army continue their campaign of mayhemand terror. They struck at the highest levels this week by takingthree of the most powerful Federation personages hostage: Hazed,Freya and Zoranel. Hazed and Freya have not been seen since they visited Atlantison Monday morning. Apparently they were meeting with members ofthe VLA in an attempt to secure the safe return of certainundisclosed personal items. Zoranel's harrier was found abandonedon Venus and there were signs of a struggle. However, Zoranel hadpreviously been suspected of conspiring with the VLA so he mayhave actually gone underground with his comrades and perhaps is not being detained against his will as Freya and Hazed are. On a positive note, Motherkins safely returned to civilizationafter escaping from the clutches of the VLA. Motherkins had beenheld hostage by the evil terrorists for nearly two weeks beforeshe was able to make good her escape. She was able to confirmthat Freya and Hazed had been imprisoned on Mistick with her, butshe had not seen Zoranel. When asked why the other prisoners didnot escape with her Motherkins murmured something about themenjoying it too much. She refused to elaborate on this. Perhapsshe was still somewhat addled from her prolonged imprisonment. C5crwchief is claiming to have negotiated the safe release of thehostages but there are no indications that the VLA is planningon releasing any of their prisoners. Given C5's known sympathyfor the Venusian terrorists it is likely that anything he saysis simply more propaganda. The latest reports on the situation in Droidium are grim. Production from the planets in the captured duchy is being diverted to some unknown purpose. Military strategists believe that the VLA will use Droidium as a staging ground for attacks against the forces of emperor Ming. Duke Exobot is still in hiding, plotting his revenge and gathering resources to reclaim his duchy.
Newbods throughout the galaxy breathed a collective sigh of relief as the safe release of Hazed, Freya and Zoranel from their VLA captors was successfully negotiated. The three hostages were let go in exchange for the simultaneous release of several political prisoners that had been imprisoned in a labor camp in the Venusian mines. Although tired and hungry, the Hosts and Demi-Godess appeared essentially unharmed. After spending a week in captivity they were eager to take advantage of their renewed freedom and so quickly repaired to Chez Diesel to eat and imbibe. The former prisoners were only able to provide the most meager and sketchy description of their captors and their jail. The bulk of the intelligence on the terrorists was: "They have Alloys and concrete. Lots and lots of Alloys and concrete". It was revealed from another source that the VLA has been working on advanced brain-washing techniques. Reliable sources state that their first successful experiment with the brain-washing process was Guyray, Baron of Nightclub. This sheds light on his previously inexplicable support for the VLA and their stated objectives. Could it be that the former hostages were subjected to the same treatment during the week that they were held captive? Is it possible that Freya, Hazed and Zoranel have now joined their former jailers, a la Patti Hearst? Conspiracy theorists fear that these high-ranking personages will soon be expressing support for the VLA and their cause. Some go so far as to suggest that the security clearances of the three former hostages need to be suspended until they undergo a complete re-indoctrination program. Beware Federation citizens! If it is true that the Venusian terrorists have succeeded in perfecting a reliable brain-washing process then no-one can be trusted! That dockworker at the end of the bar could be a VLA member. The merchant down the street could have hidden sympathies for her workthingies and their destructive unions. The planet owner next door may have had his mind bent by the evil forces of the VLA. Watch everyone carefully! No-one can be trusted!
EARTH - Resources are thinning in Earth's Casualty Ward as for the third consecutive day the line of those awaiting admission stretched down the Corridor and even around to the Foyer. Though hospital officials would not confirm it, it is widely believed that the afflicted people (or equivalent) are suffering from what is being called the worst outbreak of ptomaine poisoning this century. Doctors began suspecting something foul was afoot when a stream of patients began pouring into their offices, all with similar symptoms. While this made for easier filling out of the paperwork (One unidentified woman said she'd only twisted her ankle while tending her geraniums. She was promptly taken out and shot), the insurance companies began to get nervous. Suspecting a fiendish plot to defraud them, they wasted no time in investigating these mysterious illnesses and found to their dismay that all of the victims had been to the -*Starship Cantina*- the previous evening. Health officials were called in to continue the investigation and were shocked to find that all of the Cantina's waitdroids had been tampered with and were happily injecting the bacteria into every drink served! Said one regular patron, "I thought my drink smelled funny, but I went ahead and drank it anyway. Can I sue them, do you think?" Officials at GenCorp Ltd., makers of aftermarket spaceship performance products and unrelated in any way whatsoever to -*Starship*- Inc., declined to comment. The Health Department is asking everyone who has been to the -*Starship Cantina*- in the past 4 days to please report to the nearest hospital for a lengthy evaluation involving lots of unnecessary tests and expensive medication. It's not clear whether this will be of actual help, but you're supposed to feel better for doing it.
MARS - Agents with the Federation DataSpace Bureau of Investigation staged a surprise early morning raid at Chez Diesel (SC of the SS) after several complaints about the odor in the alley. It seems that JourneyPersons, congregating in the alleys, were having to contend with the smell and found it distracting as they tried to concentrate on yet another attempt at the Fiendish GM Puzzle(tm). The agents managed to uncover several barrels of noxious chemicals marked "CAUTION - BIOLOGICAL HAZARD" stowed in the Mare's Nest. When questioned, Diesel admitted that the chemicals were hers but said that, "I need them to clean out the back room. It gets terribly messy after a full days work." After a healthy bribe, the agents excused themselves and went on about their business. Said one regular patron, as he downed yet another pint, "I think she puts it in the drinks myself. Do you think I should sue?"
Capricorn - It doesn't take unusual physical charms to get you jobs (unless you choose to haul for Solarflyer of course.) Aquarius - You should refrain from operating heavy machinery for a while... which in your case would range from 435 ton haulers to ball-point pens. Pisces - Forego your spybeam for the nonce. Consider it comparable to a motorist slowing down to view a grisly accident. Aries - Love equals sexual urges... or groats, whichever comes first. Taurus - There is nothing worse than a sneak... unless it's a sneak that knows how to tight-beam. Gemini - Duality is never easy. But then, you MIGHT find it easier if you explored the altar in the Martian ruins. Cancer - The elf is in the bedroom... or is it behind the bushes? Pegasaurius - You should fly southeast of Titan at your earliest convenience. Leo - You will explore an office very soon... or else a bar. One of the two anyway... Virgo - You may be afflicted with the hideous urge to use multiple {{{{{}}}}'s soon... but don't give in the impulse! Scorpio - Beware hungry planet owners with whips. Sagittarius - You will meet a Groundhog who is clueless and hasn't read the manual in the near future.
ON EXPLORATION: 'Of course I ate it... and died.' ON HAULING: 'I'm an un-reliable, slow, dumb, hungry (have to get a sandwich before unloading cargo), did I say dumb?, 14 ton hauler... I don't haul for less than 50 ig/ton.'
Many people have remarked on Game Host Icedrake's heavily bandaged claw. Icedrake's stock response has been that his claw was injured in a freak accident involving OxcartII's whip. However, a leak at the highest levels confirms the true story: Hazed bit off the end of Icedrake's claw! Despite rampant speculation, precise details of what transpired are still unclear. No coherent theory has yet been able to explain Icedrake, Hazed, a whip and his finger in her mouth. A newsdroid has been dispatched to investigate further.
|